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Tanka Poetry Contest
Deadline: Today!

15 Syllable Poem
Deadline: In 2 Days

100 Word Flash Fiction
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Non-Fiction Writing Contest
Deadline: In 5 Days

5 Line Poem
Deadline: Mar 5th


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Reviews from
The Gift of Pollen


The Dear Cost of Honey

  71 total reviews 
Comment by
Tessa Kay
 
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I'm not the best at interpreting poems, so I'll take it just literally and commend you on the clever use of bee-related words in a different context and the active picture this poem paints in the mind. I'm probably way too late to wish you all the best in the contest. If not, all the best. :)


 Comment Written 09-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
    As a matter of fact, Tessa, you're not too late. I posted it quite early, so I'm grabbing on to your "best wishes" and holding on for dear life. Seriously, thank you so much for reading and for your kind comments.

    Jay

reply by Tessa Kay on 10-Apr-2017
    I think you have a good chance on this one. It's quite clever. I haven't been on FS at all recently. My book is finally out on Amazon (Fanpenciltastic-- check it out if you have a minute). I know you mentioned once about a signed copy. You're just so far away. But if you like, I could post you a little card you could put into the book if you ever wanted to get it. Just let me know. :)

reply by the author on 10-Apr-2017
    Hey, Tessa, let me take a look at it on Amazon. Have you investigated the electronic "autographing" on ebooks? I know it was available at one time. I'll go check it out.

reply by Tessa Kay on 11-Apr-2017
    I'll look up the electronic autographing. Haven't seen it mentioned anywhere, but I'm learning new things all day. It would be great to have that.

reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017
    I bought the kindle version of your book. My eyes aren't what they used to be. Electronic print allows me to enlarge the print. I'll refresh my reading of it and drop off a review on Amazon.

reply by Tessa Kay on 13-Apr-2017
    Awww, thank you, Jay. Hope you got the corrected version. I only found out a few days ago that the download to Kindle had caused many words to join together. Notniceatall. Had to upload again in HTML format, which seems to have fixed the error.
    I looked up automatic autographing, but I don't think it exists any more. Will keep an eye out for it, though. Thank you so much for your support. Greatly appreciated. :) :)

reply by the author on 13-Apr-2017
    My pleasure, Tessa.
Comment by
Delahay
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  Rank:  432
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
WeII written,
I wonder what people will do when a jar of honey cost as much as a barrel
of oil. Now that Trump has taken all the money out of science we'll get to
find out. The hard way.
D.


 Comment Written 08-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 08-Apr-2017
    Trump brings that out of folks, Lol. Thanks, Ward, for reading this bitta fluff. Glad you liked it enough to award it a six.
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
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  Rank:  46
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  Rank:  18 (+1)
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  Rank:  21
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  Rank:  4
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  Rank:  14
 

#4 Ranked Script Writer
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There are a few bee-associated references here that speak of the natural and the scandalous. It's probably just in my nature to see sex in everything. Like the man said, "sometimes a cigar is just a budding twig" -- or something like that.


 Comment Written 08-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 08-Apr-2017
    Ha! Only if it's sexy grinding a bee into one's sole. LOL, but some might find that scandalously sexy. Thanks, Bill for reading this and for your dash of humor.
Comment by
marion
 
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Hi Jay
I am going to give you a five for such a stunning presentation. I don't know if this is a haiku in its full sense...but hey...I'm open! And it has the 5/7/5 count. My biggest problem is visualizing it. In its simple sense I read - bumblebee pollen gouged from my honeycombed sole (shoe) by a budding twig. SO I have to imagine that - one has walked along and tramped on a pollen-collecting bumblebee, squashed it dead, and then the boot-wearer has picked a budding twig (spring) and dug it out from the sole of his shoe. If it's not that, I'm stumped! The supporting picture is of a bee and not a bumblebee. Good luck in the competition! Marion.


 Comment Written 08-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 08-Apr-2017
    Ha-ha ... Marion. You couldn't have captured the image of it better. Interesting, the original posted version had him scraping the pollen out of the grooves of his sole with a pencil. That just didn't do it. Changing the pencil to a budding twig seemed to beg the sole of his shoe to be honeycombed (shaped) as sneakers sometimes have. Thank you for reading it and for your exegesis.
Comment by
emptypage
 
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That is, in fact, an amazing image.

Your words brought it to life, though. I'm impressed. I can't do this... I try, now and then, these shorter forms of poetry, but I have much to learn.

I'll stick with the prose and let you write the haiku. Too good.


 Comment Written 07-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
    Ah, Marla, I too am a prose writer; I drift over to poetry occasionally, then generally scoot back with my tail between my legs. I'm thrilled you enjoyed reading this. Thank you so much!
Comment by
webfoot
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this is an interesting twist of words. "honeycombed sole" and bumblebee pollen from there - is a different look at the whole bee situation


 Comment Written 07-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
    Thank you for reading and your kind words, Webfoot.
Comment by
Susanjohn
Level 2 Pro
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  Rank:  496
 
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The gift of pollen! wonderfully written little haiku! I like "budding twig"...good luck to you in the contest! I enjoyed reading...have a awesome day! :-)))


 Comment Written 07-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
    Such a kind and enthusiastic review, Susan. THank you so much for reading and responding.
Comment by
Neonewman
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Jay, this a great entry for this haiku contest my friend. I can only imagine the horror of ones home being invaded for its purest gold. Best of luck in the contest my friend. Brilliant work!
God bless!
Steve


 Comment Written 07-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
    I'm thrilled you enjoyed this, Steve. Thanks for reading it.

reply by Neonewman on 09-Apr-2017
    My pleasure
Comment by
nuthead
 
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I'm not sure of your intended meaning here, but I read it as the sole of your shoe is one with the pattern of the honeycomb. Perhaps too literally interpretated. :s Pollen stuck deep one crevices requiring a tool of sorts, in this case a twig, to remove it.

Cool picture. Looks like he's coming in from a snow storm. Pollen-snow that is.


 Comment Written 07-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
    You couldn't be clearer on the overt meaning of my Haiku. To me, a poem doesn't work if there isn't a kind of echo of discontent with the meaning the reader arrives at. You know? You finish and think, "Yeah, that seems to be what it means ... and yet ..." Thank you so much for reading and sharing your take on it.
Comment by
rjuselius
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  Rank:  138
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  Rank:  143
 
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"bumblebee pollen
gouged from my honeycombed sole
by a budding twig"
lol, this is a light-hearted piece of poetry with some clever insights dear jay! however i am slightly weary calling it a haiku, because you don't have a satori.. or am i wrong?
thank you for sharing!
blessings!
good luck!
rebekka x


 Comment Written 07-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
    Satori ... flabori ... LOL, who knows, rjuselius. I'm barely able to count out the syllables. Seriously, thanks for reading this and taking the time to respond. Jay

reply by the author on 07-Apr-2017
    Satori ... flabori ... LOL, who knows, rjuselius. I'm barely able to count out the syllables. Seriously, thanks for reading this and taking the time to respond. Jay
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