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A 4 Line Poem Contest Entry in 1, 5, 5, 9 syllable 		Pays: 8 points.
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Reviews from
I've Loved You Fiercely


Mother's Day from a mother's POV

  37 total reviews 
Comment by
Jesse James Doty
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  Rank:  153
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is so beautiful and touches my heart and soul. Your writing is excellent, I love the rhymes, and the sentiment is so well put, that I cried a tear reading your poem. The descriptive verse is astounding, and as far as I can tell, real to the core. I thought of my mom and her love for me. I was a troubled child and needed her constantly. She loved me fiercely anyway. She never gave up on me, while others turned away. Mother's day is hard for me because I hurt so much, for the way my mother died a few years ago. She was in terrible pain, both physically and emotionally when she slowly died. I hate the way she died and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But, she is no longer in pain. Yet, the pain stays with me.
Thank you for letting me share and come closer to my grief which I surely need to tend to. You're a good friend.
Take care, Jesse


 Comment Written 15-May-2017


reply by the author on 16-May-2017
    Jesse, thank you for opening your heart so willingly and honestly. I'm so sorry you have that sad memory of your mother's death, but I hope you are comforted by the sweet memories of her love for you and the knowledge she is now in a happy place without any more pain or suffering. It is always difficult to let our mothers go. I still miss my mom too, and have regrets that I wasn't in the room with her when she died, but God knows better than we sometimes. Thank you for reading my poem and for the tender response. I appreciate your stars and thoughts and your friendship too. Thanks for being here. MM

reply by Jesse James Doty on 16-May-2017
    Thank you for your kind thoughts. You are most sincerely welcome for all three.
    Your friend, Jesse
Comment by
Pantygynt
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  Rank:  11
 

#1 Ranked Novelist!
Excellent
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It is good to read a poem from the other side of the coin, so to speak.

"This is almost a sonnet sequence. I did not want to make the last line identical to the first..." But you did, well almost, so it is, and a lovely one too. It is so sad but, unfortunately offspring can eventually disappoint. Maybe one day...

From a technical point of view we have two chained sonnets -- a circle of them in fact. The sonnets are both perfectly formed Shakespearean with conventional development and voltae at their respectiv ninth lines.

This was, despite the sadness, a pleasure to read.


 Comment Written 15-May-2017


reply by the author on 16-May-2017
    Thank you for saying that, Jim. I'm so glad you found pleasure in the reading, despite the sadness. I almost didn't post it. Now I'm glad I did. Your words are so encouraging. MM
Comment by
estory
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north carolina
 
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  Rank:  66
 
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I think you captured a mother's emotions in this sonnet sequence. You stayed in the form, you had a nice, determined voice, a measured, determined meter, and some great images. I really liked this one about keeping the porch light on all night. That kind of sums it all up: a mother never gives up on you. I know my mother never did on me. And that's why I am who I am today. nice job with this estory


 Comment Written 15-May-2017


reply by the author on 03-Jun-2017
    Yes... mother's love even the wayward child. Thank you so much for reading this with wisdom and understanding. I sincerely appreciated your lovely comments. MM
Comment by
Nika2016
 
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Speak to her with your heart as if she hears because she does...She is from you...of you and this is stronger than that which separates you. A heartfelt Mother's Day poem...May she return soon...


 Comment Written 15-May-2017


reply by the author on 03-Jun-2017
    Thank you Nika. I am in total agreement with what you said, and continue to pray this will not go on much longer. Hugs, MM

reply by Nika2016 on 03-Jun-2017
    I know you are deeply religious and for a young woman trying to find her way, sometimes it can be an albatross...
    Just know that she will remember everything you taught her, but will synthesize it her own way...I really do not know the circumstances...Just speaking from experience as you and I were raised in the same denomination of churches..Have a great weekend!

reply by Nika2016 on 03-Jun-2017
    I wonder..did you ever go to Youth for Christ in Los Angeles in the huge auditoriums? Fantastic.
    Or to camp at Idyllwild?....
    I loved those trips...
Comment by
Mastery
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Semper Fi
 
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 Rank:  52
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi, Adonna. This deserves seven stars for sure, but please accept my six and good wishes always. I especially liked these lines:

"Although I may not know just where you are,
you can be found within my yearning heart.
I see you in the soft light of a star
and hear you in the music birds impart. "

Very well done, my friend. Blessings always, Bob.


 Comment Written 15-May-2017


reply by the author on 17-May-2017
    Bob, I am touched by your response to my poem. I know you understand and that means a lot to me. Thank you for the "seven stars" and all the good wishes too. Hugs, MM
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
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  Rank:  21
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  Rank:  15
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 Rank:  5
 

#5 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
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A very well-written Mother's day poem from a mother's point of view. We love our children from the first signs until they leave our home to start their own and beyond even when the disappoint us at times.


 Comment Written 15-May-2017


reply by the author on 03-Jun-2017
    Yes... you are absolutely right Sandra. Thank you so much for reading this and for your understanding comments. MM
Comment by
Oatmeal
Oatmeal
 
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MissMerri,

Your arrangement looks very nice. The theme flowed well all through your poem.
This is a very detailed poem. It touched my heart. Nicely effective and impressive. Very well reflected thoughts and expressions.

There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal


 Comment Written 14-May-2017


reply by the author on 03-Jun-2017
    Thank you for reading this Oatmeal. I sincerely appreciate your analysis. MM
Comment by
Pearl Edwards
 
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  Rank:  229
 
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This is a beautiful Mothers Day poem MissMerri though a very sad one. But not all mothers have only hearts and flowers in their thoughts on this day. If this is your true story, I do hope she hears your heart prayer.
cheers,


 Comment Written 14-May-2017


reply by the author on 03-Jun-2017
    Thank you for your comments on my poem Pearl. You are right of course... not every Mother's Day is happy for every mother. I appreciate your kind and compassionate comments very much. MM
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  7 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  4
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  5 (+2)
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Review Stars
  
 Rank:  2
 

#4 Ranked Author
#5 Ranked Novelist

#7 Ranked Poet
#2 Ranked Reviewer
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Such a beautiful sonnet sequence, Adonna! I do think many moms would relate that sense of loss of connection with their beloved children at one point or another. Adolescence (or winter) happens and can separate this very deep relationship but never the love.


 Comment Written 14-May-2017


reply by the author on 03-Jun-2017
    You are so right. Thank you very much for your lovely and caring comments and for the six stars too. I am truly grateful for this review. MM
Comment by
Badger_29
Darren L Gandy
Brother Badger
 
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  Rank:  362
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Outstanding. You always manage to take a scenario, and work it to its enth degree. The song of the birds, the changing seasons, and the heavy heart of a melencholy mother all combine to set the stage/mood for this moving and emotionally charged write.
A lot of stark contrasts reveal a deep, emotional chasm which never fails to bring a tear to my eye.

Blessings,

Brother Badger


 Comment Written 14-May-2017


reply by the author on 15-May-2017
    Hi Darren. Your reviews always tell me you read with an open heart as well as a totally engaged mind. I appreciate so much your sensitivity and your caring comments. Thank you too, for your astute analysis of what I was writing. You truly understand. Thanks for the high rating and stars. You are a blessing. MM
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