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Reviews from
Infomercial

The latest from Time Life Music

  18 total reviews 
Comment by
Bill McKenzie
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Another Valentine masterpiece, worthy of your honorable place in the niche!!

This . . . .

" A lot of NFL teams would love to have a wide receiver like that" made me literally laugh out loud . . . .and this " . . . before they sang about Stayin' Alive, the Bee Gees had a song about being buried alive"? Solid gold friend. These days you have to be up late to see these offers, they just don't run them any more that I know of during "normal" viewing time. You've probably done enough of these to publish a collection of them by now. All I can say is more, more!!


 Comment Written 21-May-2017



reply by the author on 22-May-2017
    Our cable system has a Time-Life channel (seriously) that runs nothing but these infomercials. I love it! Thanks for reading this one.
Comment by
2018 Novelist of the Year.
2017 Short Works and 2017 Script Writer of the Year.
Thomas Bowling
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  124 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  21
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  11
Script Rating
  Rank:  7
Review Stars
  Rank:  39
 

#7 Ranked Script Writer
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This was an absolute blast.

What a beautiful scene. A teenage driver, himself covered in blood, holding the twisted, mutilated body of his soon-to-be-dead girlfriend, and kissing her.

To funny. I laughed all the way through his. I never realized the old music was so gruesome. What about the one-eyed flying purple people eater?


 Comment Written 21-May-2017



reply by the author on 22-May-2017
    A six from the site's top-ranked author - I'm honored. Thanks.
Comment by
LoannaLois
Lois Beery
Loanna
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Oh yes, the old "Teen Angel" lyrics which were so warm and fuzzy to the ear because we didn't believe that anything REALLY happened like that. What's really rich is that my boyfriend used to sing it to me......eeuuwwwww.
You are wonderfully talented with scripts, Friend. I am trying one for the first time and so far?This one is such a winner, and is super with its sarcasm and wit.


 Comment Written 20-May-2017



reply by the author on 22-May-2017
    "Wait, I know the train is coming, but I've got to go back to get Johnny's high school ring" - and that, my friends is how natural selection works. Imagine if they had reproduced. Thanks for the kind review and for knowing the same songs that I know.
Comment by
Mastery
Published Author
Semper Fi
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  83
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi, Mark. LOL. That old adage "You can't make this stuff up" definitely does not apply here, my friend. Yikes! I love it Especially these classy lines:

"SANDY: Didn't see that one coming.

PAT BOONE: Neither did she, Sandy.

SANDY: Pulverized by a 50 ton locomotive - that had to hurt.

PAT BOONE: And yet she still managed to hold on to that high school ring."

LMAO You are the top, my friend. Great stuff. Go cubs! Bob


 Comment Written 20-May-2017



reply by the author on 22-May-2017
    "Wait, I know the train is coming, but I've got to go back to get Johnny's high school ring" - and that, my friends is how natural selection works.

    Thanks, Bob for reading and for the kind words.
Comment by
frogbook
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
No youngster here-you may have ruined every song of my teenage life-LOL. Ok, some were a bit before my time but I still knew them. I just wish I had a 6 left because this was a masterpiece of comedy. I honestly think you should send it in to Saturday Night Live...I'm not kidding. Great write.


 Comment Written 18-May-2017



reply by the author on 19-May-2017
    Thanks for this uplifting review - made my morning.
Comment by
F. Wehr3
Recognized Writer
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  24
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  455
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Great parody! I have seen many of these before and this is spot on. I think you should say, Operators are standing by, because we can't afford chairs.

Good point Sandy, when your woman's been doing you wrong, the easiest solution is the good old-fashioned hand gun.--Suggest a comma before Sandy as well.

Take care,
Russell


 Comment Written 18-May-2017



reply by the author on 19-May-2017
    Thanks for the review and the catch on the comma - much appreciated.
Comment by
Chrissy710
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  74
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  197
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi Mark. Words fail me I just marvell at your thought pattern and satirical brain .I love it and you always make me smile and I do enjoy you writings and of course a six for Leader of the pack I loved that song LOL also Many others all of which I can remember Ha Ha Very funny post Great work keep it up . PS How is Maggie and the Fam Cheers Christine­???­???­???


 Comment Written 18-May-2017



reply by the author on 19-May-2017
    Thanks so much Christine. Maggie and the fam are great. One of my two college students is home for the summer, the other to come back in a month or so - always nice to have them around.
Comment by
emptypage
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I am ashamed to say I laughed hard at this piece. I mean, really hard. Poor Timothy.

You wrote, "They capture, not only the horror of gruesome
automobile accidents, but also the beauty of teenage romance that somehow transcends the ugliness of mangled bodies."--The comma after "capture" is unnecessary, and ill-placed. You could just erase the feeling of needing a comma there by saying "They not only capture the horror of gruesome automobile accidents, but...."

I loved your fresh approach. You surprised me. Not many people can still do that. Nice job, Mark.


 Comment Written 17-May-2017



reply by the author on 17-May-2017
    Thanks for the kind review and the catch on the superfluous comma. Much appreciated.
Comment by
royowen
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  4
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  6
 

#4 Ranked Poet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I watched those advertising songs from the 50s, 60s, into the 70s, and I know them all, those dying songs set a lot of girls weeping. It's funny about hero worship, the young mind is a swamp. But they were perfectly geared to the market place. I love your sense of humour, and knowledge and recollection of those songs, compiling this witty and clever script, Mark, well done, great scribing, blessings, Roy


 Comment Written 17-May-2017



reply by the author on 17-May-2017
    Thanks for the generous rating and for taking the time to read this one, Roy

reply by royowen on 17-May-2017
    Most welcome Mark
Comment by
2016 Poet Of The Year
Dean Kuch
Premier Author
Some people dre...
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  16
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  87
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Good afternoon, Mark. Well... it's afternoon here in Ohio anyhow...

PAT BOONE: Four chord progressions that reflected what was happening with the young generation.

SANDY: Dancing, young love, cars, drive-in movies...

PAT BOONE: ...and gruesome death.
... Gee. I always knew there was a reason I liked Pat Boone so well. Heh-heh...

NARRATOR: Yes, it's "Death and Dismemberment", the exciting new collection from Time Life Music. For the first time anywhere, Time Life has assembled in one place all the great songs that portray teenagers meeting their violent ends. You'll get hits like this:

(song plays as the screen returns to Pat and Sandy in the malt shop)

I couldn't stop so I swerved to the right, I'll never forget the sound that night. The screamin' tires the bustin' glass, the painful screams that I heard last.
... Where can I get this? I haven't seen this particular Time Life Collection, Mark! of course, I rarely watch television, but that's beside the point.
P-l-l-l-l-e-e-a-a-s-s-ssseee... you just gotta tell me!

PAT BOONE: Those are the songs that put the 'car' in 'carnage'. ...Hahaha...puts the "car" in "carnage", he says, lol...

SANDY: Pulverized by a 50 ton locomotive - that had to hurt.

PAT BOONE: And yet she still managed to hold on to that high school ring.

SANDY: A lot of NFL teams would love to have a wide receiver like that.

PAT BOONE: I'll say - and once you get your hands on this collection we're sure you're never gonna want to let go. In fact we're so sure, we'll give you your money back if you decide for any reason that this isn't the best collection of teenage death songs that you've ever heard. You just pay for shipping and handling.
... Yeah, the Cincinnati Bungals is one of 'em.
I meant "Bengals", of course. Ahem...

"Let's bungle in the jungle
Well, that's all right by me
I'm a tiger when I want love
But I'm a snake if we disagree"
~Jehtro Tull...
Sorry, Mark. Wrong genre; I digress...

Speaking of songs about murder, what about this fine classic hit by none other than Eric Clapton...
I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy
I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy
All around in my home town
They're trying to track me down
They say they want to bring me in guilty
For the killing of a deputy
For the life of a deputy, but I say
I shot the sheriff, but I swear it was in self-defense
I shot the sheriff, and they say it is a capital offense
... You have a total disregard for the lives of law enforcement officers here, AND State executions; two very popular topics in the news these days.

All I can say buddy is that you really need to get cable TV.
You watch wayyyyy too many infomercials, heh-heh-heh...
 photo signature_11_zps5fpjvzwk.gif




 Comment Written 17-May-2017



reply by the author on 17-May-2017
    The folks at Time Life have elevated the infomercial to an art form. Thanks for the review. Taking the day off tomorrow to head out to Wrigley and watch my Cubs battle your Reds for sole possession of third place.
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