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Reviews from
The Piper


Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "The Piper, part 16"

Young Adult Fantasy

  16 total reviews 
Comment by
May 1
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  392
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Once again, such a beautiful description. Oh, I see, it's interesting to note that they know the boy. Is he half-Fae I wonder. I love the vocabulary you chose for the last paragraph, it works so perfectly.


 Comment Written 01-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
    Hi May 1,
    Thank you for the encouraging comments. I love your question.
    Debi
Comment by
2012 Script Writer Of The Year
Spitfire
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Another well-penned chapter.
Thunder cracked and rolled like giant wooden wheels groaning under an immense weight.--excellent simile

"I just wish he wouldn't pull so hard on my fur."

"You thought it was cute when he was three."

Humor always helps the tension in a piece.

You capture Piper's world so well. I'm impressed.


 Comment Written 27-May-2017



reply by the author on 28-May-2017
    Thank you so much for the six stars, Shari. I am happy you enjoyed the humor. Thank you for the kind comments about the writing and the use of the simile. Debi
Comment by
Pam (respa)
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  18
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  37
Review Stars
  Rank:  27
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
-A good chapter, Debi.
-It leads nicely from the end
of the previous one.
-Sheba has been staying with
Piper, and made sure no one
would see evidence of them being there.
-We don't know who might have been
passing by, and neither do Sheba and Summerstorm.
-I like the use of the thunderstorm to shield them from
whatever might be out there.
-You have left us with some mystery--who might have
been out there? What is Burkehart going to do (even though
he is not in this chapter?) Who is it he might not be able
to trust? What is next for Piper and where is Rupert?


 Comment Written 27-May-2017



reply by the author on 28-May-2017
    Thank you for the shiny six star rating, Pam. I appreciate it and your encouraging comments. Thank you for continuing to follow the story. I like the questions you have about the story. Debi

reply by Pam (respa) on 29-May-2017
    You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Debi. I enjoy the story, and am glad you found my questions interesting! I guess that is what mystery is all about--questions.
Comment by
rspoet
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  32
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  101
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
So, we'll have to wait a bit to learn the answer to Burkehart's question.
A good technique to maintain the suspense.
The initial description of Redd-Lief's entrance is very effective
and we soon learn there is an earlier connection between Sheba and Piper.
It seems there are many past links with and to Piper.
A solid tingling to the end of this chapter
Summerstorm's instincts and the veiling sound of the rain
provide more suspense, as the chapter ends.
Another fine addition to the book, my friend.
Well done.
RS


 Comment Written 27-May-2017



reply by the author on 28-May-2017
    Hi RS. Thank you for the pretty yellow stars. They mean a lot. I appreciate the comments about Redd-Leif's entrance. It is nice to know what works. Thank you for continuing to follow the story. Debi
Comment by
kriver
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Debi,
This is a really good fairy tale
Very creative writing
The dialogue works very well
It appears to be well thought out
Best regards,
K River


 Comment Written 27-May-2017



reply by the author on 28-May-2017
    Thank you, K River, for the kind comments about the writing. I am happy to hear you enjoy the fairy tale and especially the dialogue. Debi
Comment by
F. Wehr3
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Excellent descriptive work! I enjoyed this part with the talking wolf, and the realization that she's more than it seems. Looking forward to more.

"Well, he looks to be at ease with you at the moment so the memories must be in there somewhere.--I think a comma before your conjunction so.

Take care,
Russell


 Comment Written 27-May-2017



reply by the author on 28-May-2017
    Hi Russell,
    Thank you for the six star rating. Your comments about the descriptive work mean a lot since you do such an excellent job in that area in your stories. Thank you for the recommendation on the comma. Fixing it now. Debi
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
Level 1 Pro
Premier Poet
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  66
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  94
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  61
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Is the Captain outside the cave? Did he have time to follow the tracks before the rain started? We are left once again to ponder just what Summerstorm wants of Piper? Perhaps when Piper wakes up we will learn. Good job Debi. Nancy


 Comment Written 27-May-2017



reply by the author on 28-May-2017
    Hi Nancy. I like all the questions you ask. Just the type I am hoping most readers are asking. Thank you for continuing to follow the story. Debi
Comment by
Novelist of the Year!
For Six Years!
(2008, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2015 and 2017)
Margaret Snowdon
 
Review Stars
  
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted




Great characters and imagery, with an intriguing plot that drew me in and makes me want to read on -

dialogue between Sheba and Red-leaf flows naturally -

all in all, a most impressive write, Debi.


Blessings,
Margaret


 Comment Written 27-May-2017



reply by the author on 28-May-2017
    Thank you, Margaret. Your encouraging comments mean a lot, especially coming from one of the best writer on the site.
Comment by
JDRBAR
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Very well written and a pleasure to read. Found just one nit..."in preparation to cook a meal." (for cooking a meal), or (in preparing to cook) Just a suggestion.


 Comment Written 27-May-2017



reply by the author on 28-May-2017
    Thank you for the close read. I have corrected the nit. I appreciate the encouraging comments about the writing. Thank you for stopping by to read and review.
Comment by
BeasPeas
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi debi. This is the first time I've read a chapter in your book. It's amazing. You're a wonderful writer. Your story is clear and detailed. Excellent scene setting. Good dialogue interspersed and interesting throughout. Marilyn


 Comment Written 27-May-2017



reply by the author on 28-May-2017
    Hi Marilyn,
    Thank you for the very encouraging comments about the writing. I admire your writing so such praise means a lot. Debi
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