Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

100 Word Flash Fiction
Deadline: Today!

Haiku Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 4 Days

ABC Poetry Contest
Deadline: Mar 9th

6 Word Poetry
Deadline: Mar 13th

Cinquain Poetry
Deadline: Mar 16th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Thoughtful Poems and Prose


Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Unforgiveness"

Commentary and Philosophy

  7 total reviews 
Comment by
2018 Short Works Writer of the Year
Mustang Patty
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
thank you for sharing this fable with such an important lesson. All too often, we fear the things or people that could mean the difference between life and death. I wish you luck in the contest,

~patty~


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2017



reply by the author on 29-Jun-2017
    Thanks for reading, Patty.
Comment by
kathleenspalding
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Whew! That is one powerful fable with a very true moral. I don't see anything that needs to be corrected. A bit chilling that it has 911 words - was that intentional? Good luck in the contest!


 Comment Written 28-Jun-2017



reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
    Thanks, Kathleen. The 911 words are coincidental.
    I noticed it right in the beginning and looked for a word or two to alter, but couldn't find one to drop, (no point in making the story longer).
    Strangely, I think the 911 word count has put readers off. I think they find it too insinuating. Clearly, many readers do not wish to forgive--and to be fair to the families that have lost loved ones in that tragedy, the question of forgiveness is for them alone to decide. People who have not lost loved ones in that situation have no right to dictate forgiveness to them. Only they can make the choice. I firmly believe it is a matter between them (the offended) and God.

reply by kathleenspalding on 28-Jun-2017
    What a coincidence, especially given the nature of the story! I agree, forgiveness from God is promised for those who confess and repent. As for us humans, it can be harder, and it's up to the offended to give it or not. (Ultimately better for them psychologically if they do. Garrison Keillor said it best, if you don't forgive, you stay trapped in the past. Still, easier said than done.) If you want to change the word count, there may be a contraction or two that could be made or undone?

reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
    I might go back and change it, but I think most have already seen the 911 word count.
    Thanks

reply by the author on 28-Jun-2017
    Yeah, I just changed it to 906 words.

reply by kathleenspalding on 28-Jun-2017
    Probably just as well. Hope it helps get more reviews!
Comment by
lyenochka
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  4
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  8
Script Rating
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  5
 

#4 Ranked Author

#8 Ranked Novelist

#5 Ranked Poet

#3 Ranked Script Writer

#5 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Ah, very good. At first it reminded me of one the parables, then it became clear that the parallel is one of salvation and Jed had to personally receive the King's pardon as each person needs to ask God's forgiveness to be saved. Well done!


 Comment Written 27-Jun-2017



reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
    Thank you for reading and understanding.
Comment by
Fridayauthor
Level 3 Pro
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Fables are fun to write as you can make up your "world" and the people in it!

Your setting is interesting and so are your players. While I understood your king was immortal and out-lived generations, I was a bit surprised to find Sam still alive.

Good luck with this contest!

Thank you!


 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017



reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
    Sam was elderly, 70ish. Jed was born one next generation later and rose to power in his twenties. Thanks for reading.
Comment by
dmt1967
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  236
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  72
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  121
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a delightful story and I like the moral. Most of humanity are like the character, Jed I think. Maybe that is why the world is in the state it is in. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.


 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017



reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
    Thanks for reading and understanding.
Comment by
Brett Matthew West
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  24
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  165
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Children will enjoy this story with enough action to move the tale along.

Should make an interesting entry into this contest.


 Comment Written 26-Jun-2017



reply by the author on 26-Jun-2017
    Thank you, Brett.
Comment by
emptypage
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Oh, this is a powerful story.

Unforgiveness. I've lived it. It was such a relief when I let that go, when I read MY letter from King Highness.

Good work here.


 Comment Written 25-Jun-2017



reply by the author on 25-Jun-2017
    Thank you for reading and understanding this story.
  -1-   Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
St. Louis Chapter 23 part 1
Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy