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Hopeless But Hopeful Love


Better be more for better than for worst

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
Sis Cat
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
An excellent poem, Tier, about crazy love, hopeful love, and helpless love. You describe the ups and downs, the cold shoulders and head trips of a tumultuous relationship:

Shameful recognition rushes in my mind of all the times I let "abusive" rule my life,
trying to be that woman or that wife who would submit totally to your control of me and giving in to that dominating hold on me,

The turmoil wrecks havoc on your self-esteem in this well rhymed verse:

I get angry words that hurt, are full of dirt and loathing,
owning disgust, full of the fuss and the loss of lust.

Here is another fine passage that resonated with me with its power and eloquence of using the suffix of un-:

You could never ease pain by giving more pain,
You could never un-crush what is already crushed,
You cannot say it was all a mistake and then simply try to-
undo, un-ring, unsay, or even un-break...for goodness sake.

You end your poem with a prayer of centering your marriage and faith on God:

So desperately and impetuously let us do whatever we must do to prove
that we are less hopeless than what God now sees.
Let us just be the we that I am hoping in,
and yes, I am still hoping in our love


I found one error: (warmth) of the only bed . . .

Thank you for sharing your excellent, and powerful free verse on love. I hope you two have more better than worse.


 Comment Written 30-Jul-2017



reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
    I'm sorry Sis Cat: I've been so busy that I have not found the time to respond to your wonderful review. You know that I always appreciate everything you say to me and you have my highest admiration and respect. Thank you so much for the six star rating and for the wonderful review. You are the greatest.
Comment by
lalajovanoski
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hello my dear friend, I very much enjoyed reading this beautifully written romantic poem / letter to your husband. I think that this is excellent content and very sweet and meaningful. I can tell this is directly from your heart. You are so talented. Thank you so much for sharing this. God bless you. With love, Lola


 Comment Written 27-Jul-2017



reply by the author on 28-Jul-2017
    Thank you so much Lala. I am so happy to hear from you and I am glad that you found this poem. Yes, I always tell my husband that he is my inspiration for this kind of poetry. I promised him a nicer poem so I am in the midst of creating a more loving poem. He knows that i tell it like it is though. (lol) I will be looking to read some of your beautiful poetry tonight so i will be talking with you soon...much love.
Comment by
Teri7
Premier Author
Teresa Shortess
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  53 (+3)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  26
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Review Stars
  
 Rank:  44
 
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This is a very eye opening poem you have penned with the words. I did not realize anyone else had a marriage like ours, but ours has been for thirty years now. lol I question if we are in love or kinda like! lol Very well written with very good descriptive wording and very good imagery with your words. Blessings, Teri


 Comment Written 27-Jul-2017



reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
    What Teri, I never would have guessed. You look like the happiest woman in the world, even in that picture of me and my husband you could see that I wanted to choke him. hahahahahaha but see, this is just not a perfect world so marriage would not be perfect. Thirty years is a true accomplishment though. I believe that it may feel like a kinda like relationship but it is truly love. Your marriage has stood the test of time. Thank you so much for your encouraging and kind words. Much love.

reply by Teri7 on 28-Jul-2017
    lol yep would not trade him for nothing! love you friend!

reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
    love you too Teri
Comment by
2020 Poet of the Year
royowen
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  21
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 Rank:  1
 

#1 Ranked Reviewer!
Excellent
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God knew exactly what He was doing when He said He'd have mercy on us, fulling knowing the cost to Himself and in His Son's sacrifice, but never once did He say, we weren't worth it! Love never counts cost, One of the tenets of faith is our own ability to see ourselves as we are, and our spouses, and how lost we are without Him. Love requires us to see our promise through, in spite of all trial. That's why He said, "this is My beloved Son, in Him I Am well pleased". Matthew 3:17. Beautifully written my friend, blessings, Roy


 Comment Written 27-Jul-2017



reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
    Tnank you Roy, my friend. You are always so kind and understanding. it is always a pleasure to hear from you....much love, my brother.

reply by royowen on 27-Jul-2017
    Always a pleasure dear sister, Roy
Comment by
2018 Short Works Writer of the Year
Mustang Patty
 
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Hi Tier; so many love stories have their 'ups' and 'downs.' A good marriage is made of compromise, and accepting the other person for who they are - really. So, we look at the good times and weigh them against those that others may see as 'bad.'

I learned a long time ago that no one has any idea what goes on inside of anyone elses marriage.

If you are as happy as you can be, then I'm happy for you,

~patty~


 Comment Written 27-Jul-2017



reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
    Thank you Patty for you understanding and encouragement. I was hearing some concerns from my other Fan Story friends. No one needs to be concerned for me. I ma happy with my hubby even though sometimes I do want to choke him. But thank you so much for being a true friend. much love
Comment by
beizanten
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Premier Reader
 
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  Rank:  233
 
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LOng and a bit dull first paragraph but well written and somewhat catch my attention. Interesting topic and pretty deep and well written poem. Keep up the good work.


 Comment Written 27-Jul-2017



reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
    Yes beizanten, I do have a habit of writing the very long poems. This is one of my longest poems but thank you for your patience in reading this poem. it is very special to me. Thank you so much for your review.
Comment by
Poetic Friend
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  Rank:  59
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  Rank:  193
 
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Tier,

This poem is highly emotive and compelling. You are transparent, expressing deep raw emotions with high creativity and poetic devices (scattered and internal rhymes, metaphors, alliteration, personification, unique word phrasing and analogies). Your writing speaks from the deepest of your soul.

You engaged the reader with the pain that love brings in the name of saving a strained marriage. You provide reasons as to why sometimes a couple stay in a marriage.

As you mentioned in your author's note, no marriage is perfect, and marriage requires work, particularly communication to overcome adversity. There will be struggles between the partners, in the name of making the relationship stronger, deeper, and long-lasting.

However, there must be a balance as well. There must be joy and happiness in the marriage. There must be compromise, but not in the name of compromising values and your being (self-esteem/self-worth). I personally think, when one compromises such values, the couple may be unequally yolked. If the couple is more stressed than relaxed in the marriage; more miserable than happy, there isn't a balance. Hence, the couple may ask question, Is the marriage worth saving?

I have written several poems (some posted; and some I have yet to post) on this subject because I know so many people in this situation. If you are interested in reading the poems I posted on this subject, the titles are "Love is a Battlefield", "Departure," "Confronting the Truth," and Portrait of You."

Just a minor spelling nit--

I love you-s, should be I love you's.

Thank you for sharing, Tier. You should consider reading your poems in an open mic event. Your poetic voice begs to be heard aloud. It wants to be heard beyond the paper and computer screen. In addition, you may want to consider reading your poem for CD format. I strongly believe your audience will not be disappointed.


 Comment Written 27-Jul-2017



reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
    Thank you so much Poetic Friend: Yes I've been encouraged by SiS Cat about that so you are the second Poet who is encouraging me to open mic. I have decided that I would be looking into reading some of my poetry publicly and also creating a video for on line viewing. Thank you so much for the compliment.

    As for the marriage, you know that when I write I tell the truth. My poetry is honest and full of emotion so yes, I would say that this marriage is a struggled one. My situation though does not mean that I am always compromising my self esteem and self respect. My poem speaks about me reaching my limit and being the stand up not taking this crap anymore type of wife. It talks about my divorces.


    I was the one who divorced my other three husbands because I reached my limit. I had to have someone threaten two of them to sign the divorce papers. I usually don't stay in any situations or relationships at all that are just not good for me. However, this marriage is so far, until death do us part. We were both behaving badly. When my husband does not get his way he has a tantrum and this used to result in my not speaking to him for 4 - 6 days. Now, though he is the one that apologizes or fixes it the same day before the sun goes down as the bible says we should. Also we used to have the bitter, yelling and screaming arguments and abusive speech, we don't do that anymore, at all. So we have come a long way. The reason for this is because when I met him he asked me why did I divorce 3 husbands. I told him everything that I have been through and promised him that when I feel like I am getting there with him I will warn him.

    I warned him because I was there but we promised each other before God that we would not divorce and we would always try to make it work no matter what. When I returned to my God and my religion I realized by studying the bible and attending my weekly meetings that God hates divorces. He is the one who created marriage (Genesis 2:24) and considers the vows made during a marriage a promise before him. I do know that God also does not want us to be miserable so he gives us advice and he has expectations of each spouse, all of this is in the bible. So I am really trying to make the appropriate changes and I am happy to say that my husband is too.

    My saying is, " Anyone who does not know how to treat me cannot treat me at all" but I am married and I am trying. Thank you so much for your concern but believe me I am okay. I am a strong and very smart woman, really I am. I hope that my poetry does not make you think otherwise. I will read your poems that you noted though. Love you...

reply by Poetic Friend on 27-Jul-2017
    I am afraid you misunderstood me, I am not judging you for staying in the marriage. I don't judge people lives and decisions. I will never encourage anyone to leave his/her marriage. I apologize if you thought otherwise, my friend. You know your marriage, your husband, and what it takes to improve your marriage. In fact, I admire you for hanging in there. So many people are quick to give up on their marriages without trying to work on their differences.

    I was generally speaking and saying, there must be a balance. Based upon your author's notes, you seemed to have found that balance. Thank God.

    I know that you are a strong and very smart woman. Your poems speak of your strength and intellect. I admire you as a person and poet because of that strength and intellect. Love you, too. :)
Comment by
kathleenspalding
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
To your much-appreciated author's notes - too true! No one is ever going to be perfect (for longer than a few minutes, LOL), and I'm glad you're going to write him a sweet one, too. I'll always remember the mom in (Moonstruck? Cher and Nicholas Cage movie) "They only drive you crazy if you love them" (or something like that).

Okay, to the poem. Love it!!!!!! Captures the frustrations of marriage very, very well and flows beautifully.

Typos and nits,

...irrelevance that I have become used to(delete space),

myself in a -- maybe insert a hyphen comforter-like shawl (the shawl is like a comforter)?

and into remembering those cold(delete space),

...repetitions of these kind(s) of...

That's it. Great poem!!!!


 Comment Written 26-Jul-2017



reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
    Thank you ny friend. I will make the corrections.kater. Im off to the gym for now. Much love.

reply by kathleenspalding on 26-Jul-2017
    You're welcome. Happy exercising!
Comment by
FxstsLisa
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Wow! Your writing is so unique Tier, as shown in this piece as well. I would recognize your writing without your name on it. Yes, marriage is definitely hard work that you have to work on every day, and It is only worth doing if your in love. I had to "teach" mine too but he wanted to please me (loves me) so after 15 years things are good. With me it was an "opposite's attract" but (like you) makes life more exciting, right? Keep writing Tier, and have a blessed day!


 Comment Written 26-Jul-2017



reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
    Thank you Lisa: It is so great to hear from you, as usual. I am happy that you enjoyed this piece and yes, to everything that you said about it. Your view of this poem is so appreciated because I wrestled with actually sharing this reality. My husband can be quite the jerk when he wants to but it's his way of showing his disapproval when he can't get his way. He realizes that I am at my limit with the stupidity so he is really working on his changes.

    I am sorry that last night I didn't get the chance to go to your portfolio, I was so sleepy last night a t work. As you know, I work the overnight shift, but tonight I will spent a lot of time reviewing your excellent stories.

    Hey I re-posted an awareness piece called "Little Girl's Destiny" please check it out and let me know what you think, ok. Much love, my friend.

reply by FxstsLisa on 27-Jul-2017
    Off to bed, and I'll have time to check out your story tomorrow morning...

reply by the author on 27-Jul-2017
    okay my love
Comment by
2017 Poet of the Year
Barb Hensongispsaca
Barb Henson
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  37
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  Rank:  162
 
Excellent
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Wow reading this I would say bravo for succeeding to overcome in a good way the treatments received and yet you were able to have love's power come into play. Very well written with fierce emotion


 Comment Written 26-Jul-2017



reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
    Hey there my friend. Ive missed you. Yes Im trying to give this marriage my all. I am usually the one to flee. I divorced 3 husbands but God says no divorce so me and my husband ate trying to do this right now. Thank you so much for finding this poem. Thank you so much for yourkind
    words. Did you get a chance to read "Little Girl's Destiny" yet.? I hope you enjoy it when you do.

reply by Barb Hensongispsaca on 26-Jul-2017
    I did indeed. You are quite an emotional writer and able to reach the unreachable.

reply by the author on 26-Jul-2017
    Hey Barb, that is a recent photo of my and the hubby from January 2016, last year
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