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Beware Lonely Old Ladies


Telemarketer meets his match

  38 total reviews 
Comment by
Jay Squires
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
With only two characters, each clearly identifiable by tone and attitude, you evaded the risk of leading the reader into confusion over who was speaking. The salesman was the prototype of persistence, while the female was crusty and savvy. She refused to be the prototypical and stereotypical senior citizen, who waits, almost begs, to be manipulated. I loved the way she turned it on its head with the salesman threatening to add her to the "Do Not Call" list.

Humor with a dash of wish fulfillment.


 Comment Written 01-Aug-2017


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Thanks, Jay, for the wonderful detailed review and exceptional rating. Part of this conversation is real as a call interrupted my nap one day and went into a spiel about living longer. I think I went into karma and reincarnation with him and had a lot of fun. Frank was hysterical as he listened to both ends thanks to speaker phone.
Comment by
boxergirl
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hahaha...great dialogue, Shari! I think you should print it out and market it as a great tool to combat telemarketers!
Should be a winner in this contest...Good Luck! 8-)


 Comment Written 01-Aug-2017


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Thanks, BG, for the sixer. I did something similar to this when a call interrupted my nap. Instead of being pissed I drew him into a philosophical conversation, but can't recall the exact lines.
Comment by
doggymad
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This was absolutely brilliant. Just what ever pill pushing cold caller should be treated to.

This happened to my hubby once and he started telling the caller about the Christmas decorations he was selling. He never heard from the company again

hugs

Freda


 Comment Written 01-Aug-2017


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Brilliant, huh. That word put me over the top. Thanks for the six and sharing your story. Your hubby's a hoot.
Comment by
2014 Story Writer Of The Year
humpwhistle
Level 9 Pro
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  Rank:  58
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  3
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Review Stars
  Rank:  66
 

#3 Ranked Author
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Well done, Shari. I know a few people who enjoy giving telemarketers the run around. Also, choosing a telephone conversation eliminates the temptation
to add tags and descriptors.
I wish you luck with the Committee.

Peace, Lee


 Comment Written 01-Aug-2017


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Thanks, Lee. Appreciate the six. I'm impressed with your entry too. Hope we both have luck.
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
Level 1 Pro
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  Rank:  82
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  Rank:  73
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is very funny Shari. Now we know how to get rid of those unwanted telemarketers. LOL Really why would we want to live to be a hundred? What is happening to my body is bad enough.
I didn't see anything that needed fixing. Well done. Nancy


 Comment Written 01-Aug-2017


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Good to know that someone else feels the way I do about a long life. I don't see the point. Glad you didn't find any nits.
Comment by
2014 Novelist and 2016 Short Works Writer Of The Year
Phyllis Stewart
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
LOL! Very entertaining. I wish someone like that would call here. I just get called for political donations. I must not answer the right ads. Good luck in the contest. Looks like you have a winner! :)


 Comment Written 01-Aug-2017


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
    Thanks for the six, Phyllis. Hey, I could have with a call for political donations. Go on and on about money that could be used to help starving children, etc.
Comment by
2016 Poet Of The Year
Dean Kuch
Premier Author
Some people dre...
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
""Oh god, don't wish that on me. You're talking hearing aids, hair loss, wheel chair, arthritis so bad you can't even cut Jello, eventually a nursing home." ... Can't even cut Jello--now that's funny, lol!

Well, that's one way to get rid of unwanted telemarketers, heh-heh.
I've always wondered why it is they seem to call right about the time you're sitting down to dinner. It would have been a bit trickier for this old gal to pull this off if it had it been a woman on the other end of the line.

Great dialogue only story, Shari. This should be a strong contender. But this is FanStory and humpwhistle (Lee) has more than likely entered, so...
photo cooltext210450993103317_zpsnaocmzmr.png


 Comment Written 01-Aug-2017


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
    Yeap, Lee wrote a humdinger. He's terrific at dialogue and very funny. I think the old lady could flummox a woman as well. Thanks for the sixer. That counts for a lot in the judges' eyes. :-)

reply by Dean Kuch on 01-Aug-2017
    Yes, I know, it matters.
    It was well deserved in my book. I laughed aloud several times while reading this.
    Good luck, Shari!
    ~Dean :)

reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
    Making people laugh is better than winning. At least in my book.
Comment by
w.j.debi
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  96
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  14
Review Stars
  Rank:  50
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
You know how to write the dialogue so that it develops the characters, revealing their feelings and frustrations. Love this old lady. The telemarketer had a tiger by the tail and no clue what to do with her. He did try, poor thing.
Good luck in the contest. I hope you win.


 Comment Written 31-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
    Thanks, debi, for the exceptional rating and specific remarks.
    Hugs,
    Shari
Comment by
2012 Short Works Writer Of The Year
Realist101
 
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  Rank:  480
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
HAHAHAHAHAAAAHHAAAA!!!!!! Shari! LMAO. Too bad I don't get those calls, it's just email spam for me! This is awesome. You should go to YouTube and listen to a comedian, well...forgot his name, I WILL find him. But he does this too. Reverses it on the callers. Very realistic convo! :D X


 Comment Written 31-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
    Thanks so much, Sue, for the exceptional rating. This was born out of reality, but I couldn't remember any lines except the ones about living longer and sharing my memories with grandchildren. I really did have such fun, and he did interrupt my nap.
Comment by
Zinnia48
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Really funny! My first real laugh of the day! I love the way you led us gently down the garden path to a surprise ending. I must remember that technique the next time I get a "call". I love your gift of dialogue1 Caroline


 Comment Written 31-Jul-2017


reply by the author on 03-Aug-2017
    Thanks for the compliment and specific review. I've heard that all you really have to when they call is ask in a sexy voice, "What are you wearing?" They'll hang up. I'm unlisted now so I don't have a chance to try it. Imagine if there's a fireman on the line. LOL
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