Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

5-7-5 Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 4 Days

Minute
Deadline: Jun 14th

Share Your Story
Deadline: Jun 16th

Four Line Poem
Deadline: Jun 20th

Father's Day Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jun 21st


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Too Old To Remember Part 1


Young Enough Not To Forget

  39 total reviews 
Comment by
TAB_that's me
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Oh Wow, Sasha, this is really good piece of fiction. Your use of descriptive language such as 'turning the old woman's world into a frightening Ferris wheel spinning out of control' makes it very interesting to read.

teresa


 Comment Written 02-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Thank you so much for the awesome 6 stars. I sincerely appreciate it and your glowing comments.
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
Level 1 Pro
Premier Poet
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  82
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  73
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I think this is the fear of many senior citizens who have no family or an uncaring family. Yes, there are places like this, but the one we have in this town is a five star facility.
Still I would not want to be in one. So many horror stories about people wondering around and getting in bed with them or stealing their false teeth or other things. Usually they are understaffed. Well done Sasha. Nancy


 Comment Written 02-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Yes, this is a real fear for so many. Yes, many are understaffed and with unqualified people who do not know how to care for the elderly. The biggest problem are the illegal ones that are in it only for the money. There are those that don't even try to clean up the place and rely on family that just want to get rid of a family member with Alzheimer's or some other heath condition that requires specialized health care that they do not supply. I think people would be shocked if they actually knew how common this is. thanks so muc for the lovely 6 stars, I sincerely appreciate them.
Comment by
royowen
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  1
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 
 Rank:  2
 

#1 Ranked Poet!

#2 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
There have been discoveries of this kind, in institutions here, of aged inhabitants being maltreated, and also in mental institutions. Excellent written Sasha, the imagery is descriptively very good. As looking through her eyes and thoughts, the feelings of hopelessness is palpable, well done, blessings, Roy


 Comment Written 02-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Thank you for your generous and positive comments. I sincerely appreciate them.

reply by royowen on 02-Aug-2017
    Most welcome
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  5
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  38
 
barbara.wilkey Recommends:
St. Louis Chapter 28 part 1
Logan and his buddy make plans to rescue McKenzie.
Pays:10 points
10 member cents

 

#5 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Yes there are places like this and it's horrible to treat our elderly in this manner. Equally as horrible are family members who never come to visit their elderly family members. I am patiently waiting for part two.


 Comment Written 02-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Thanks for the lovely 6 stars, they mean a lot to me. Part 2 will be less depressing and more uplifting. I am so pleased you like this one.
Comment by
Halfree
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  361
 
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A good story line that seems somewhat disjointed in the telling. The opening has a lot of describing words that do not really capture the reader, well me anyway. Perhaps, start with the second sentence. Then some observations of the exterior. Or perhaps start with the second paragraph and then description of the building.
Think this story needs some work and the magic from the pen of the smurpgirl.
Think the entire posting needs some work.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 02-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Thank you so much for your thorough and detailed critique. I am happy with it as it is. I have gone over it so many times I actually have it memorized. I understand your concerns and appreciate your honesty. I will go over it, but doubt I will change much, if anything.

reply by Halfree on 02-Aug-2017
    in the end you are the reviewer of your work, not me,
Comment by
apky
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This reminded me of the many issues we have here about taking care of the senior citizens in our institutions. Most get mistreated because the caregivers work long hours and earn too little (so little that more and more homes are employing the more caring and less monetary demanding eastern Europeans).


 Comment Written 02-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Despite rules and monitoring, many are run illegally and are in it just for the money. Too often these places hire unqualified caregivers and have no concern for the welfare of the tenants. A miserably death is all they can expect and when the last one dies, they move on and open another facility.
Comment by
Deejharrington
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
What a way to start the day! Could you be more depressing? Just kidding, kinda. Brilliantly written, terrific images, and sadly true to life. I guess its scary to those of us who's future could be just like this. I would like to hope that places like this are being shut down faster than they are opening. I am so glad you ended it on a optimistic note. You make the reader want to know about the old lady. What her story is, where her relatives are. Looking forward to part two.
deb


 Comment Written 02-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Thanks for the 6 stars. Sadly, these facilities are more common than people what to believe. People don't want to believe they exist and too often close their eyes to avoid seeing the truth. The government does try to investigate these places but if they are illegal and under the radar, far to many continue to exist. Yes, today's will be less depressing and more uplifting.
Comment by
Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  580
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Yes, all over the world and plenty of them here! Sadly. I once went for a job at one and didn't make it past the front yard before I could smell the urine. I left without asking about a job. I love the story for its emotive plot line. Sad that it has come close to home. It has for us too and one really can't wait to find a place that will treat your mother or mother-in-law as a valued human. Giddy


 Comment Written 02-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Most places like this put on a good front. They present themselves as clean, caring and a place anyone would want to live in. This one is more the exception but yet, there are many just like it that are not known about and are never inspected. Thanks so much for the lovely 6 stars. Today's post will be less depressing and more uplifting.
Comment by
Sankey
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  180 (+6)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  31
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  137
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Sasha I immediately thought this could be something to do with yourself. Well done. I look forward to reading more. I guess those of us neglected by a lot of our family might feel something similar. We thank God for the friends who do care.


 Comment Written 02-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 02-Aug-2017
    Part two will be more like my personal life, yet still completely fictional. Thanks so much for the lovely 6 stars, I sincerely appreciate them.
Comment by
LaRosa
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  217
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level


The repetition of the phrase, 'blind, deaf, and probably senile', is so perfectly timed throughout the story. It anchors the sense of an old lady lost in time and even space. As she attempts to keep her sanity in an environment of insanity, the reader relates to her more and more as the story progresses. Perhaps she's not senile, it seems to say.

"The shock of a tiny memory flash, like a camera", along with the shock of the lightening storm, keep the reader riveted to learn more about her. How perfectly described ... the camera flash of memories...great!

Who wouldn't wonder whether there's a god who plays with her life? It's awful that we all want to find a personal reason why we deserve to be 'punished', somehow.

It is true that a person also can cease to hear because he/she has 'heard too much' already and can't deal with more.

Very special subject matter and a sense-jarring moment to discuss. Just want you to know it's ...good!


"as it scraped...



 Comment Written 01-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 01-Aug-2017
    Thanks for catching the spag. You are the first to comment of the repetition of ' blind, deaf, and probably senile' and am pleased you felt it was perfectly timed...my intent was to, hopefully make the reader wonder if she was bind, deaf, and probably senile. Yes, she is definitely a woman trying to keep her sanity in an environment of insanity. Thank you so much for the glowing comments and lovely 6 stars, they mean a lot to me.
  Previous Page  1 2  -3-  4  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Fragile Ground
This poem is about escaping domestic abuse.


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy