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Reviews from
The Darkness Within


A pre-wedding anniversary Poem for my true love

  26 total reviews 
Comment by
IndigoLady
Premier Author
Lily & the Rose
 
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I love this poem, especially the concatenation of rhyming words in a syncopated string. You very clearly define a multi-faceted long term relationship juxtaposing hate and love, good and bad and inevitable. I really like the line "I'm all in" which evokes visions of being wholly spent and committed completely, like it or not.


 Comment Written 24-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 28-Sep-2017
    Hello, Indigolady: I am so sorry that I took so long to respond to this review but I really appreciate it that you have read this poem and that you enjoyed it. I am always appreciative of the reviews I receive and you really get this poem. Thank you so much for your understanding. Have a wonderful day.
Comment by
Wabigoon
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Tier--
I very much enjoyed this. You intermix "god," darkness, a mystery, a husband, worship with sex, sin with give in, and it's quite a mix with lots of riffs. It is, for this reason, a bit confusing who you are or are not addressing. Sometimes near the end I suspected you were "cheating" and that was what was behind all the excitement.

I noted one missing apostrophe along the way but did not feel like copying it because that would have interrupted the flow of the poem

Nice job--
Wabigoon/Jeff


 Comment Written 24-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 28-Sep-2017
    Thank you again, Wabigoon: Sometimes my relationship with my husband does feel like cheating so I described it this way. It is such a love hate relationship. I love him, I hate him, I love him, I hate him and I feel guilty for this. We vowed or love and togetherness before God and i know how God feels about marriage. This is why I feel guilty because I find myself wanting out of it but am so connected and in love that we - me and my husband - cannot let go. So I end up giving in to my feelings - even when I don't want to but I must because he is my husband. I know, it's really crazy, believe me I know. This is why the poem is so confusing.

    Anyway thank you again for your reading, your review and your kind words.
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
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  Rank:  34 (+2)
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  Rank:  18
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  Rank:  17
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  Rank:  7
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 Rank:  21
 

#7 Ranked Script Writer
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One can see why your husband likes this poem. He is teh teasing demon (sort of) that keeps you coming closer when you sometimes feel it's to your detriment. Love is like that and all the sensual tingles that accompany it. Fun reading this.


 Comment Written 24-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 28-Sep-2017
    Well, hello my firend, Bill:

    I am so sorry that i took so long to finally respond to your great and understanding review. You really got this poem. It was a little confusing to some but yes, my feeling about my husband are confusing sometimes. It is definitely a love/ hate relationship but I keep giving in to my feelings because he is my husband but yes, he makes me sick and I mean that in the nicest way.

    Thank you again for your understanding. I really appreciate hearing from you again. You have been very supportive.
Comment by
Maria Jose Garcia
 
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You were right, Tier. I hadn't read this one even though I thought I had. It's beautiful.
It's sweet of your husband to keep all your poems in a folder. Even the angry ones!
Thanks for sharing.


 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
    Hello Maria, yes, I thought you didn't. I am happy that you found this poem and thank you so much for your review and rating.
Comment by
2019 Short Works Writer of the Year
Ideasaregems-Dawn
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Tier, I don't know how to comment on this other than to say that normally I'm not enamored of a lot of rhyme in free verse - it often seems over-used to me, and comes off as a bit glib, but this is brilliant. I loved it.

On a personal note, I am reading a book right now that I recommend you read - it is Wm. Paul Young's, "The Shack"... Please. Let's share comments about it when we're done, yes?


 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 02-Sep-2017
    Oh thank you Dawn: Wow what a compliment. I felt that these last three poems that i wrote were not so great so I am so happy to hear a compliment like this from you. I am actually beginning to like this poem, a little more. I am in a state of depression lately so I have been struggling with my desire to even continue to write.

    As to the book that you recommended can I down load it or where can I get my hands on it? Is it an e-book? I will look into it to check it out...



reply by Ideasaregems-Dawn on 02-Sep-2017
    It is a New York Times #1 bestseller, so I'm pretty sure if you Google it, you'll find it. Possibly Amazon? I stumbled upon it quite by accident, and the strange thing about it is I can't even remember how, although it wasn't all that long ago. (Two or three months?)
    But it is special - I've felt it - more than once. Let me give you three quotes on the back cover:

    "The Shack is the most absorbing work of fiction I've read in many years. My wife and I laughed, cried, and repented our own lack of faith along the way. The Shack will leave you craving for the presence of God."

    "The story reads like a prayer--like the best kind of prayer, filled with sweat and wonder and transparency and surprise. If you read one work of fiction this year, let this be it."

    And Wynonna Judd says: "Reading The Shack during a very difficult transition in my life, this story has blown the door wide open to my soul."

    Tier, I won't write the summary as it appears on the jacket - it's too long - but here's mine, in VERY short form:

    Mack's daughter is abducted - evidence she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the wilderness.

    Four years later he gets a suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to the (nightmare) shack.

    Against his better judgement, he goes, but what he finds there will change his world forever.

    and the summation on the cover is: (In a world where religion seems to grow increasingly irrelevant The Shack wrestles with the timeless question: "Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable pain?" The answers Mack gets will astound you and perhaps transform you as much as it did him. You'll want everyone you know to read this book.)


reply by Ideasaregems-Dawn on 02-Sep-2017
    In fact, I am so in love with this book, I'm going to post this info on my profile page. (I'm only half way through it, but it is truly amazing...)
Comment by
2020 Poet of the Year
royowen
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  Rank:  21
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#1 Ranked Reviewer!
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What a lovely combination, between God and His chosen heart's desire for you. How meticulous God is! I'm always amazed when I witness God's choice...and it is obvious, my two darling daughters have received the perfect men for them, and vice versa, the two boys God chose, are their first and only boyfriends/husbands. My wife is likewise, perfect for me! Beautifully written, Tier, I likewise write occasion Poetry for my wife, daughters, grands, friends etc. I dwelt on these beautiful, articulate words of passion and thanksgiving! Well done, praise God, blessings, Roy. (This is how a gift is used!)


 Comment Written 30-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 31-Aug-2017
    Thank you Roy. I am always so happy to hear from you. You are always so supportive and encouraging. Thank you for your kind review. Im happy that you liked the poem.

reply by royowen on 31-Aug-2017
    Always a pleasure Tier
Comment by
prettybluebirds
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Excellent. I bet your husband does love this poem. It is full of love and passion that you feel for your husband. It is nicely-written and I truly enjoyed reading it. Good work.


 Comment Written 30-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 30-Aug-2017
    Thank you so much prettybluebirds: I really appreciate your review and kind words.
Comment by
nbonner
 
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A lovely love poem. There is nothing like finding your best friend, your lover, and your soulmate. Some people never get to find that special someone to be there bestfriend, lover, and soulmate. You are blessed. I liked. Thank you for sharing, N.B.


 Comment Written 30-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 30-Aug-2017
    Thank you so much for your review and rating. Your words are greatly appreciated.
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  51 (+2)
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 Rank:  64
 
Gert sherwood Recommends:
Words are the Fruit of Poetry
I like sitting under our apple tree
Pays:10 points
10 member cents

 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hello Tier V. King

the way you express your self with words about love is more powerful and how LOVE can rid HATE is amazing.

You and your husband sound like Elisabeth Browning and her
husband Robert Browning when they wrote sonnet to each other

Gert


 Comment Written 24-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
    Thank you so much Gert, for the marvelous six star review. I am happy that you enjoyed this piece because I did write it with my heart and I am happy that I was able to write a loving poem and not an angry one. In the past they have been angry but this year I wrote 2 anniversary poems. So this was the pre-poem. I'll be posting the other one soon. I wanted to take a new picture of me and my husband.

    Thank you so much again though for your kind words and review. have a wonderful poem. I ma sorry that I am finally reading this review but I am just returning from a vacation in Ohio. I just got home, not even an hour ago. There is so much to read.

reply by Gert sherwood on 29-Aug-2017
    You are welcome Tier V. King
    I will be waiting for your new postings

    Gert
Comment by
Poetic Friend
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  59
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  Rank:  193
 
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Wow, Tier, you outdid yourself with this poem!

You creatively the described the love-hate relationship with your husband, especially in stanza:

But there's a thin line between love and hate.
He's the one I love to love...but hate to hate,
but love to hate and hate to love.
Though if I'm not careful...I'd choose my own fate
There in so great...

Based upon the words you've painted, I can see why your love is so deep for him. He's a lucky guy.

I like the build up, and the romance oozes from each stanzas.

If this is the pre-anniversary poem, I can only imagine the actual anniversary poem.

Happy Anniversary!


 Comment Written 13-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 16-Aug-2017
    Hello there my Poetic Friend: I am so sorry that i am finally responding to your outstanding review. Oh yes, this marriage is quite the challenge for me but I do love my husband though he can really be a royal pain in the you know what.

    I am still trying to find the time to write the actual anniversary poem. We are celebrating our anniversary next Thursday so I better be ready. I hope it will be a good one. I struggled with completing this one but was finally satisfied with what it is now. Thank you again...much love
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