Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Loop Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 3 Days

My Faith
Deadline: Oct 30th

Halloween Flash Fiction
Deadline: Oct 31st

Halloween Poetry
Deadline: Oct 31st

Haiku
Deadline: Nov 2nd


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
The Mother Road -- 2of 2


Whaddaya gonna do?

  27 total reviews 
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  8
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  46
 
barbara.wilkey Recommends:
Football Chapter 3 part 1
Katherine learns more about Gabriel
Pays:10 points
10 member cents

 

#8 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Than you for sharing this wonderful story. I has a lot of life lessons in it.

He backed up to the stanchion and lifted himself up to sit next to the Chief. (Your writing is always perfect and I hate making this correction because it's minor, but when you're discussing people it should be 'sit beside the Chief'. I've had an editor make me change all of my 'next to.)

The Earth spins, Kemosabe. We spin with it, or fall off." (Words to live by)


 Comment Written 20-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
    Thank you, Barbara. I made the 'next to' change, but I'm still dubious of professional editors--if they can't find something to change, they're out of a job. In this case, I think he/she was right. Thanks again, Barbara. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Pantygynt
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  94
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  4
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  21
 

#4 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
My mistake when i had this set in the 1950s last time. These road songs update that by at least a decade. The real reason for the chief wanting to be in the middle of the road is finally revealed as being "...halfway between 'now' and 'next'. Good place for a cowboy and an Injun to keep the balance."

I loved everything about this short story, the setting, the character and the unmistakebly American feel to it. Despite the time warp it still smacks to me of Steinbeck, and I love that.


 Comment Written 20-Aug-2017


Comment by
2019 Novelist of the Year
Ulla
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  74
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  171
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  40
 

#3 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi Lee, so this is the end of the road. It ended on a melancholic note, but it was very apt. I really liked the middle of the road being halfway between now and next.
Only a minor nit: To Jeffords, as he picked his way = Tom Jeffords,
All the best. Ulla:))


 Comment Written 20-Aug-2017


Comment by
apky
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I've collected a whole lot of nuggets from the two stories together, Lee.

I simply adore your style and your unique voice. My incliniation was to six-u-up with both stories since it's a Sunday and I've only given one 6er away. Then I found out that I can't give a 2-pack to the same person in a day. I'll find that Tom chap and strangle him.

Brilliant tale with all the nuanced, the wisecracks (is that the right word when I mean smart jokes?) and the singularly individual characterization.

The assembled throng studied the Sheriff car's slow, dirge-like(I guess this is the American spelling. In the UK we spell it as one word-dirgelike) approach.



Top of the class, my friend.


 Comment Written 20-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 21-Aug-2017
    Thanks so much, apky. And 'wisecracks' suits me just fine. To me, a wisecrack is the junction between a joke and a philosophy. A quip with a thought behind it. I'm proud to be a purveyor of wisecracks. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
Story Catcher
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  15 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  13
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  17
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Lee,

I was expecting more of a 'punch' ending, but I think this was actually more appropriate... the story fading into the taillights just like dozens of old diners on Route 66 must have done. --sigh--

A beautiful piece and wonderful tribute to a forlorn and forgotten (mostly!) strip of blacktop. I definitely enjoyed!

Only one tiny nit:
(no space) Dick Ferguson blew his nose. Otherwise, the silence

Fab job. Enjoyed!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 20-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 20-Aug-2017
    Thanks, Robyn. Yes, the end of the story was predestined. I suppose I could have jerry-rigged a happier ending, but Coyote wouldn't let me. Thanks for your encouraging comments. Peace, Lee
Comment by
valmay
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Well I guess we did find out where Billy Ray came from and where he was going, all in your own ineffable style. All symbolic and powerful totem too. I really enjoyed the story of Rusty's diner, and the history and music of your Mother road.


 Comment Written 20-Aug-2017


Comment by
Possummagic
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  403
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  288
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Good reading material. There are just a few sentences with little or no rest breaks. Now I've just checked and realised that you are a high ranking author and I'm immediately ready to erase my comments. However, I am taking suggestions from high ranking authors, and I am following their instructions. So, if you will take my suggestion graciously, I will continue to review work, by authors of your calibre. If not then I'll just keep my thoughts to myself. Cheers - Possummagic.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 20-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 20-Aug-2017
    Thank you, Possummagic. I'm open to all comments and suggestions. But I'm not sure what you mean by 'no rest beaks'.
    Also, I'm curious how you came to review part 2, but not part 1.

    Peace, Lee

reply by Possummagic on 20-Aug-2017
    I'm not sure why I reviewed part 2 and not part 1.
    I actually meant commas. It's probably not a matter of too few rest breaks,or commas,in a long sentence, maybe it's excessive use of adjectives in one sentence. Excessive of course, is a value judgement, so maybe it's just a heavy use of adjectives.
    "Sheriff Jeffords ushered the poor-sighted pseudo-Apache up the steps and into the cool coffee-and-egg redolent atmosphere of Rusty's Eat-It-All. "
    I am by no means an expert, and nor do I profess to be. I'm just following the grammar lessons which are listed on my reviews. Lol I'm glad you didn't take offence. Because none was intended.

reply by the author on 20-Aug-2017
    Aye, I do get carried away with adjectives once in a while. I justify it by pointing out that I rarely indulge in long, descriptive paragraphs. As I say, that may be simple justification. I appreciate your comments. Peace, Lee
  Previous Page  1 2  -3-   Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Football Chapter 3 part 2
A mother faces life's struggles.


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy