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Reviews from
war


2-4-2 poetry contest

  8 total reviews 
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
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  Rank:  44 (+1)
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  Rank:  15
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  Rank:  36
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  Rank:  3
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  Rank:  10
 

#3 Ranked Script Writer
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This 2-4-2, War, has the right set up and leads this reader to have two minds about the message here. I feel there is a sad statement that someone dying in war doesn't get to make a scrapbook. Then there is the thought that although the scrapbook is filled, it has no meaning. How did I do?


 Comment Written 27-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017
    Hi there, Bill

    Thank you for the stars and review...

    Yup you got it, my friend, although I guess this could be interpreted in many different ways :)

    kind regards

    trimple
Comment by
BeasPeas
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  Rank:  25
 
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I wonder if the world will ever learn to get along. Despite differences, it would be nice if we could live and let live. Your 2-4-2 poem shows this through "peace" on the back of his helmet. Presented well with the perfect image. Marilyn


 Comment Written 27-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 28-Aug-2017
    Thank you, Marilyn

    We do indeed live in a crazy crazy world.

    kindest regards

    tracey
Comment by
l.raven
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HI Twilight, this could be read in many ways...it could be about the war...I hate any of them...or it could be about a Dear John poem...no more pictures from home...either way...war sucks...very well thought of sweet lady...very well written...and always so glad to see you...picture says it all....love you...Linda xxoo


 Comment Written 25-Aug-2017


Comment by
Father Flaps
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Hi Trimp
It was so nice to see your name pop up in here. How are you?
I enjoyed your poem about war. I was lucky. I din't have to go into battle during my life. My father went all the way to Berlin. My Uncle Jack lost both his legs in an explosion when he was driving a motorcycle, taking messages to the front line. Their father (my grandfather McAdam) looked after horses in WWI, hauling cannons here and there. He was shot in the chest. The bullet was too close to his heart to remove. He healed, but carried the bullet around the rest of his life. My dad never told me any stories about the war, except one. He was in eastern France. He and a buddy walked down a trail beside a river, for a smoke & chat. They discovered the body of a German soldier, and figured they better tell the higher-ups. On the way back up the trail, they could see land mines in the moonlight. It's a wonder they weren't blown up too! War is hell, and that's why it's good to have these Remembrance Day ceremonies on November 11th. Young people, especially, need to remember so that there is no more World Wars. But look what's happening today... in Afghanistan, in Africa, in the Middle East, in South America, and pretty soon in the United States with all the neo-Nazis. Unbelievable! No wonder there was nothing in the soldier's scrapbook except tear stains.
Good alliteration in "soldier's tear-stained scrapbook", and you have the correct syllable count.
Good Luck in the contest!
Hugs,
Kimbob


 Comment Written 25-Aug-2017


Comment by
Pantygynt
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#4 Ranked Novelist
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The tears were the entries I imagine. You have mastered the art of saying something important in eight syllables. My problem is having to use at least 150 characters to comment meaningfully on it. Unfair really.


 Comment Written 25-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 25-Aug-2017
    well I guess this short little poem could be interpreted in many different ways, which is what I tried to think about whilst trying to compile it.

    It's not easy, you know :)

    However, reviewing such a short piece is no mean feat, Pantygynt, and I thank you for taking time to do so.

    kindest regards

    trimple

reply by Pantygynt on 25-Aug-2017
    It was Winston Churchill II believe who once apologized to a friend for writing such a long letter but he didn't have time to write a shorter one.
Comment by
DR DIP
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Hmm very thought provoking Trimple

soldier's
tear-stained scrap book:
empty
So I can interpret this in a few ways. But the best way I interpret it is war only brought heartache and no fond memories. Loss of life of his comrades in war only leaves tears in the memorabilia scrapbook.

Well that's how I see it anyway

poignant words

dip


 Comment Written 25-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 25-Aug-2017
    thank you, Dip

    Indeed this exceedingly short poem is about the horrors of war without splattering blood and guts on the page.

    thank you dip

    I appreciate your observations and time to review.

    much love

    tracey
Comment by
2018 Short Works Writer of the Year
Mustang Patty
 
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thank you for sharing this well formed two-four-two for the contest. I think your words conveyed a great deal of emotion. It is too true that soldiers carry a scrapbook in their brains, and sometimes they are real. Their hearts are emptied when the war takes everything away,

~patty~


 Comment Written 25-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 25-Aug-2017
    Thank you, Patty

    I appreciate your thoughtful comments.

    kindest regards

    trimple
Comment by
nbonner
 
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Very nicely done 2-4-2 poem. The struggles our soldiers go through we can never imagine. Thank you for sharing and best wishes in the contest


 Comment Written 25-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 25-Aug-2017
    Indeed you're right, nbonner.

    It was pretty tough trying to come up with a big story with so few syllables. I thank you for taking time to comment and provide some food for thought.

    kindest regards

    trimple
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