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Philosophical poem.
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Reviews from
The Music of Stillness


reflection after a service

  56 total reviews 
Comment by
rama devi
May All Beings Be Happy
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  52
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  102
 
Excellent
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Lovely and pensive. I enjoyed reading this aloud too--good flow and style. Strong imagery, tone and theme. Contemplative and deep.

I found these two non-grammatical commas disturbed the flow slightly:

I always thought,(no ,)
I'd rue the way

The crowds
I thought would come,(no ,)
had other tasks at bay.

Nice imagery, tone and rhyme here:

The wind,
as gentle as a rose.

They set me down
in last repose.


Nice personification:

The prairie
welcomed me.

*
Tense shift--it's been past tense but now switches to present:

The rain begins
to lay a sound...
Suggest:


The rain began
to lay a sound...

*

akin (to) eternity.


Leaning toward a six. Bravo.

Warmly, rd


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
    Ha! I'd have a stroke. I did wrestle with the first two commas you mentioned. I have no problem in eliminating them. But as for the last, alas, no can do. Doug

reply by rama devi on 29-Aug-2017
    :-))))
Comment by
bluedragon776
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Not sure if this is right but this poem seems to be a sort of dedication to the buffalo. I know that they are an endangered species. Thanks for sharing.


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
    Thank you. It actually works as you mentioned, but was not intended so.
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
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  Rank:  7
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 Rank:  39
 
barbara.wilkey Recommends:
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The great herd of bison are no longer and that's sad. Humans have messed up so much of God's great earth. That's what your poem spoke to me. I'm not sure that's what you intended.


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 31-Aug-2017
    Well, it is half of what I meant. The rest was observing my own burial.
Comment by
pbomar1115
 
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Jaded by the same experience each day, a person or animal, I would guess, would be pleasantly relieved something new and relaxing arrive. I like the message the poem convey.

Phillip


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 31-Aug-2017
    Thank you, Philli0

reply by pbomar1115 on 31-Aug-2017
    You're welcome.

    Phillip
Comment by
brenda faye curtis
 
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This poem gave me a sense of peace and harmony, as if all things turned out as they were meant to. I hope when my time comes that the people, wherever they are will have good memories of me. I loved it!


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 31-Aug-2017
    Thank you, that was intended

reply by brenda faye curtis on 01-Sep-2017
    You're welcome.
Comment by
2019 Poet of the Year
Dolly'sPoems
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 Rank:  2
 

#2 Ranked Poet

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Joyous words in celebration of nature and life and the eternity that we only get a glimpse of in our short lives, a joy to read, best wishes, love Dolly x


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 31-Aug-2017
    Yep, you got it t00.
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
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  Rank:  7
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 Rank:  4
 

#7 Ranked Poet

#4 Ranked Reviewer
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A very well-written poem and reflection of what the service you attended made you think about. It is wonderful when a service can give us something to chew on for a while and work out the purpose of life.


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 31-Aug-2017
    Thank you.
Comment by
Fridayauthor
 
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This is an easy to read poem that creates a nice visual image in the mind. I especially like the "acorns on the ground" for some reason. Perhaps it reminds me of autumn, a time past the prime.

Very nice posting.


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 31-Aug-2017
    I thank you.
Comment by
estory
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north carolina
 
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  Rank:  57
 
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This is a really nice free verse poem. the flashes of color and music in the lines paint a picture of memories, of moments lost in the rain. very melancholy sounding. I loved the ending. The refreshing rain, like a glimpse of eternity. very interesting. estory


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2017
    Thank you.
Comment by
sharonlshelley
 
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a nice poem really enjoyed reading it it something different which is nice, a nice picture to reflect your work lovely, thanks for sharing your work with us


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2017



reply by the author on 31-Aug-2017
    Thank you,
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