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5-7-5 Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jun 8th

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Deadline: Jun 14th

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Four Line Poem
Deadline: Jun 20th


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Reviews from
just a moment


Tanka poetry contest

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
Ginnygray
 
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I really enjoyed your tanka, Trimple about the cicada lovers
quivering in the trees. What a lovely metaphor you used, and the words so well chosen to describe this orchestra of sound.
I really like the word, "hullabaloo", because on a summer night that is exactly what they sound like. Great job!


 Comment Written 10-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 19-Jul-2018
    Thank you so much for your review and rating.

    kind regards

    trimple
Comment by
BeasPeas
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  Rank:  18
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  Rank:  25
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is a terrific tanka that I enjoyed reading. Great word choices throughout (hullabaloo is a favorite) and end line brings a smile. Well composed. Marilyn


 Comment Written 04-Sep-2017


Comment by
YNWA
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Hi
What a wonderful poem.
Which describes the journey of love with such vivid imagination.
The dramatic word play is fantastic which marries with your imagery brilliantly.
and a great picture to accompany
Mitchell.


 Comment Written 03-Sep-2017


Comment by
Father Flaps
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  Rank:  253
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi Trimp
Lovemaking ,eh? I like the way you describe the heat of the moment,
"and what a hullabaloo!" ... is that foreplay?
I like the way you used Simon & Garfunkel's hit "the sound of silence" as the sigh.
One suggestion, I might use "quivers in the trees". What do you think?
You've got the correct syllable count for a tanka, 5-7-5-7-7.
Good Luck, my dear!
Hugs
Kimbob


 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 03-Sep-2017
    Hey, Kimbob

    Thank you very much for your helpful review and special rating.

    I see what you mean about 'quivers' and have edited accordingly.

    Hullabaloo, means a big commotion :)

    Kindest regards

    tracey

Comment by
l.raven
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Hi Twilight, some years back I went through one of their coming out parties...OMG...they were so loud...when you drove down the street...and places where there were trees was awful...and at night it drove you crazy...and then they were gone...I love your poem sweet girl...and a beautiful picture...the life of a cicada...very nicely written my sweet friend...love you...Twosocks...xxoo


 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017


Comment by
marybell1
 
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I enjoyed reading your tanka "Just a Moment". You followed all the rules for this genre and I loved your choice of picture. I love the sound of the cicadas.
All the best in the contest.
Marybell1.


 Comment Written 02-Sep-2017


Comment by
June Sargent
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  Rank:  21
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  Rank:  40
 
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Great example of a tanka. Words painted a lovely picture of cicadas singing songs of love. And then that silence afterwards. Nicely done. Should do well in the contest.


 Comment Written 01-Sep-2017


Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
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  Rank:  7
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  Rank:  69
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 Rank:  5
 

#7 Ranked Poet

#5 Ranked Reviewer
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A very well-written Tanka. Syllables are spot on. The city cicadas quivers in the trees that sounds like lovr songs in the air, until the sound of silence fills the air again.


 Comment Written 01-Sep-2017


Comment by
Pantygynt
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#4 Ranked Novelist
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And when they do stop don't you notice that sound of silence. Quiver in the trees makes a good pivot for the two parts of this insect tanka about the cicadas and the racket they make.


 Comment Written 01-Sep-2017


Comment by
2018 Short Works Writer of the Year
Mustang Patty
 
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thank you for sharing your entry in the tanka poetry contest. You have given us a great presentation and your words speak lovingly of the sound of the cicadas, but allude to the loveliness in the silence following their cacophony.

Good luck in the contest,

~patty~


 Comment Written 01-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 01-Sep-2017
    Hi there, Mustangpatty.

    Thank you for your review and gracious stars.

    The silence- death of these teenage bugs.
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