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Reviews from
1066 - An Ode to Unity


Free Verse

  18 total reviews 
Comment by
Joan E.
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 Rank:  20
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I viewed the Bayeux Tapestry about twenty years ago, and it was wonderful to see a segment with your free verse today. You wove your own tapestry of poetic devises plus history. Your "longbow" metaphor to start was splendid, and brilliantly followed by abundant imagery, alliteration and similes. Bravo! -Joan


 Comment Written 21-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 21-Sep-2017
    Thank you so much for this encouraging review. I am so glad you enjoyed the poem. It mus thave been about twenty years ago that I too was in Bayeux and took it all in.

reply by Joan E. on 21-Sep-2017
    Thanks again for transporting me--we are both overdue for a re-visit, but your tour de force was a great substitute. More cheers- Joan
Comment by
frierajac
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
An interesting read with your personal scholarly style to embroider the tale as is fitting. I would like to know if there is a specific foot named iambic judder or if this is something invented on the spot for the nonce as they say.


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 20-Sep-2017
    Thank you so much for this six star review. As to your question, you have in fact touched on a major feature of the poem. I was trying to show ways in which the conquest was so amazingly total. We got a new language and a totally new culture as a result of the conquest. Even the poetry itself was altered. The old style alliterative verse would over time give way to the classical metred style of poetry, and it must have felt as odd to them then as the swamping of rhymed poetry by free verse does today.

    The juddering rhythm of iambic verse (da-DUM, da-DUM) must have felt so different from the alliterative style of Saxon poetry found in Beowulf. So the answer is no there is no iambic judderameter at least not officially.
Comment by
Oatmeal
Oatmeal
 
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PANTYGYNT,

Very nicely written work. Perfectly arranged and formatting is wonderful. Good flow. The theme is strong. Your feelings are expressed well. Very informative and soulful, full of vivid impressions, effective and impressive.

There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 20-Sep-2017
    Thank you very much for spending the time to read and review this poem.
Comment by
Irish Rain
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You have woven quite a beautiful tapestry of words, I like that idea!! Can you just imagine the hours and hours put into such embroidery?? I started a tiny 5x7 piece in April, and just finished it in August. Just wonderful! Blessings.


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 20-Sep-2017
    I know it must have taken an age, but there wasn't much else to do for the well to do woman, you know, nothing on TV and they could have a lovely gossip as they worked. Thank you for this complimentary review.
Comment by
tfawcus
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You've certainly managed to weave a good few poetic terms into your poetic tapestry, even a double dose of alliteration! This makes rather a good lesson, by example, of some of the techniques we use to bring a poem to life. I've seen pictures of the Bayeux tapestry many times, but never the real thing. It must be getting a bit threadbare by now!


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 20-Sep-2017
    It was in fact written as a teaching tool for my poetic unity class. The lesser devices such as alliteration all work towars the major device of imagery that forms the unity of most free verse poems. Thank you for picking up on the device weaving in a poem about a woven thing, except of course it wasn't woven but embroidered actually -- the so-called tapestry that is.
Comment by
oliver818
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Very nice poem, I really enjoyed it. I like the rhythm and flow of this piece, and the imagery is also very evocative. I enjoyed the history too. Thanks for sharing and have a really great day


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2017
    Thank you for taking the time to read and review this. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment by
rama devi
May All Beings Be Happy
 
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Deeply thoughtful tapestry of images and ideas well penned here, my friend. Almost a six. This stanza is utterly outstanding:

Its tapestry a poet's psyche weaves
with multicoloured, bright, linguistic threads,
alliteration's argent assonance,
and onomatopoeia's awesome clash
that stitched litotes,
with less than total honesty,
into a tapestry at Bishop Odo's instigation.


I loved reading it aloud--and the meaning! And the wit, too--like the alliterated alliteration line.

Second favorite part:

like russet leaves of orchard trees in simile,
lies tumbled and down-trodden
in the mire of metaphor,
as season succeeds season through the year.

Love that metaphor recipe and whimsy and alliteration too.


Unity, you are my longbow's aim,
the target all my arrows strive to strike,

Powerful opening. Drew me in.

* the flow is slightly forced scansion here (to my ear):

and through your gilt bullseye,
must pierce my most telling shaft,
the fletched device of Imagery.

*scansion forced here too, I think:

Godwinson's sworn oath to William

This is awesome to read aloud with the F, W, S, D and G sounds:


So now each Saxon's daughter feels
cold conquest's frozen-fingered touch,
a Winter, personified in snowdrifts' icy grip.
She, in their softly rhyming clutch,
slides soporifically into alliterative reminiscences
of Anglo-Saxon Glories past
that will meet her later in the new iambic judder.
Disorientated, suffocated she,
like the frozen world around, is dead and gone
until the Norman Spring,
triumphant in its cloth of golden daffodils,LOVE THIS LINE
and panoply of azure bells,THIS TOO
struts in to close complete the circling year.

Also love: She, in their softly rhyming clutch,
slides soporifically into alliterative reminiscences

Love the voicing in closing stanza too--and all the consonance of L, alliteration of B and the meaning, of course, as well (note one spag):

Long live the new-crowned king,
poetically stitched
into his battle-won(,) bejewelled throne,
Old England's metamorphosis
to spring's new-conquered land,
brought under law and order's unity,
In thrall, like poetry,
in order to be free.

Wish I had a six (in spite of nits) but, alas, I have none left.

This is truly remarkable and a delight to read aloud and contemplate.

*IMPRESSED!*

Warmly, rd



 Comment Written 19-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2017
    Thank you, Rama, for a brilliantly detailed review of this piece. Being in receipt of so much praise from you it seems churlish of me to argue over the few nits you found. On the subject of metre generally I would point out that this was declared as free verse; although there were metrical passages here and there, there were many variations. You commented on an unnecessary comma between "battle-won" and "bejewelled"; I was always led to believe that multiple adjectives should be commaed off in this way. Perhaps this is an example of a cultural difference between the US and the UK.

    I am so pleased that you enjoyed the poem and picked up on what I was trying to do in it. Thank you again.

reply by rama devi on 19-Sep-2017
    Thanks for your gracious response. I do not consider it churlish at all to discuss points in the review. You have done so in mature and respectful manner. No worries!

    I had meant to mention that it was because there was not fixed meter that I did not deduct a star.

    The comma suggestion there is optional. One need not use one, for example, when saying 'she had long brown straight hair'. But in this case, it felt better cadence to insert a comma there just because of the texture of the sounds (my ear). I did not say to remove the comma but to add it, I believe. Your comment above seems to think I was saying to remove it but I was actually advising to add it (optional either way).

    Warmest Smiles, rd
Comment by
kiwigirl2821
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Hey Pantygynt. This is so over my head I don't know what to think. I do see many literary examples such as alliteration, metaphors, personifications, and also that rhythm iambic deal. I of course went to google it and come to find out there is a partial recreation of this in Geraldine which isn't too far from where I am. You now have me curious to see it, so I'm going to make a trip. Your true talent is incredible Jim and I am in awe of you. Well written and powerful. Thank you for sharing your talent with us. :) deborah


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2017
    Do you mean you are going to travel to Bayeux in Normandy to see this thing? Wow! I had better claim commission off "le departement touristique Normande".

    Joking aside, if you do go, enjoy Normandy it is a great little area with numerous gastronomic delights such as calvados, camembert and tripe!

    Thank you so much for this brilliantly generous review.
Comment by
LIJ Red
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Ormus of the shining marsh was the first of my clan to get his name in print, they say, back in 1066. The tapestries and Rosetta stones and cave paintings are most interesting, despite that lack of total honesty...excellent


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2017
    Thanks for reading and reviewing this from the point of view of one with ancestors in the business so to speak. I believe the lack of honesty was more to advertise than to deceive. Who were the printers back in 1066 then? This was a little bit ahead of Wynkyn de Woore or William Caxton.
Comment by
2018 Poet of the Year
Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
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Great job, Jim. I am familiar with the Bayeux Tapestry even though I haven't seen it in person, my person that is. lol. Very clever how you've embroidered literary devices throughout a historical event.

Very nicely done my dear. I hope you aren't overworked with your classes. I've seen the results of your work around the site, and that's got to be most gratifying for you. :))

Gloria


 Comment Written 18-Sep-2017



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2017
    I have been lucky enough to be able to study the original some years ago in Bayeux and it is indeed a remarkable piece of work. Thank you for the review and for being one of the few who picked up on the poetic embroidery that was going on in the poem. I am enjoying the classes and take much pride in noting the fruits of my labours in the writing of those who have attended. That of course is the best bit about being a teacher
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