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111 total reviews
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Comment by
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What a fantastic entry in the contest Dean i love the way you have personified those festivities. It reminds me of a joke where there was a meeting with all the organs of the body to discuss who was the most important organ.
The brain , The heart, the lungs, the liver, the pancreas etc all staked their claim and reasons.
Finally the arsehole stood up and said "I'm the most important"
Well all the organs killed themselves laughing with this statement.
So the arsehole was deeply offended and decided to close up and walked away dejected
After a few days the brain went fuzzy, the heart stopped the lungs shut down like all the other organs began to.
SO THE MORAL OF THE STORY?
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT TO BE AN ARSEHOLE!
Now back to your wonderful poem lol
dip
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Comment Written 01-Oct-2017 |
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Comment by | | May All Beings Be Happy | | | | | Poet Rating
 | Author Rating For Short Works
 | Review Stars
Rank: 184 | | | |
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How clever to personify holidays. I don't think I've seen that done before. Well done! The opening drew me in. Poor Halloween, like a bug in a jar! The scansion is forced on that line, but there is not getting around it and it sounds fine read aloud as metrical substitution.
Fantastic rhymes. Well timed phrasing. Good imagery and tone.
NOTES:
Spag:
Valentine(')s crooned, "Please leave her alone.
This is a funny poetic portrait:
Fourth of July soon puffed out his chest
loudly proclaiming that he was the best.
Good G-words:
"Old graveyards and ghouls--gaunt ghosts are your thing.
Witty--and fun rhymes too:
Thanksgiving belched then soon started to snore.
Halloween knew she was being ignored.
"ALL of us matter," she shouted in anger.
Stephen King watched from his Mansion in Bangor.
Stephen King has forced scansion, but he can't help how is name is pronounced.
Scansion force here--not as smoothly--suggest revising:
"Here, put these on," the King of horror ordered.
BTW: cornered and ordered--great slant rhyme!
LOL:
Easter dressed up like a hippie, quite groovy.
Great slant rhymes here too:
Once the holidays had donned their disguises
they went trick -or- treating; joy spread like a virus.
Everyone loved it; "Can we do this again?"
Valentine's asked as chocolate dripped down her chin.
Good closing summation and great rhymes too:L
Now, each Halloween from a Victorian Mansion,
the holidays gather to promote the expansion
of Halloween cheer throughout neighborhood streets.
Should you see them, be kind when they shout--"Trick or Treat!"
As always--fantastic presentation!!!
Happy Halloween (a month early)
Warmly, rd
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Comment Written 01-Oct-2017 |
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