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Reviews from
The Draft Dodger


reality based fiction

  27 total reviews 
Comment by
CD Richards
 
Poet Rating
 
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  Rank:  495
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi Gloria,

What a great story. I've not read a lot of this type of work - not even really sure of the proper term for it - historical fiction, maybe? I did read a fair bit of it as a kid, but then got sidetracked. Anyway, whatever it is, I could read a lot more if it's as good as this.

I overhead shouts coming from the adults in the kitchen.

[typo: should be "overheard"]

After his daddy was blown to pieces in the mine, his momma sat in their rickety old house, day in and day out, while the walls crumbled around her and her son.

[Nothing wrong with this, I just thought it was brilliant writing]

My grandma, who never said much more than 'dig up some potatoes for supper, or get that hair outta your eyes'

[I'm not sure if this is missing quotes before and after "or", or not. Are you quoting one or two things grandma said? It just sounds like an odd combination, but that could be a local idiom thing.]


Besides, the town folks had views as narrow as the suffocating mineshafts where they spent their days.

[Another piece of brilliance - I just love this line.]

Lots of things didn't make sense then. Lots of things don't make sense now.

[yep - welcome to life!]

Great job, Gloria. I enjoyed this very much - and not a psycho killer in sight (well, not that we're certain of, anyway).

Craig


 Comment Written 13-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 13-Oct-2017
    Thank you so much for a fabulous review, Craig. I made the corrections and look forward to Halloween to expose the REAL psycho killers. :))

    Much appreciation to you always,

    Gloria
Comment by
2017 Poet of the Year
Barb Hensongispsaca
Barb Henson
Premier Reader
 
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  Rank:  8
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  Rank:  35
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Review Stars
  Rank:  44
 

#8 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
From America, I saw the other side and the condemnation of the dodgers as they were called. But when it was over, and they were treated so bad on return , who was in the wrong and who was in the right? I loved reading the other side you presented as the Vietnam was is my passion.


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 13-Oct-2017
    Yes the veterans were treated badly which was a very dark mark on American history. Always love hearing from you dear Barb.

    Appreciation,

    Gloria Th
Comment by
reconciled
 
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  Rank:  338
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hello Sweetheart....-smile-....its me the American.
I cut my hair when I grew up, you probably dont recognize me....but its true.
I just wanted you to know...that I noticed how well this was written and headnods are in order for the effort brought to life. .....O...and that I now regret my decision to turn tail and run like a dirty lil' deserter....smile-...always Michael


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 13-Oct-2017
    Thank you so much for a terrific review. Appreciation to you. :))

    Gloria
Comment by
GWinterwin
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I loved your story as I do all your writing. Interesting from beginning to end. Sounds like a girl in love or a boy in love for that matter. Love your simple down to earth reminiscing of that summer. Nothing like good memories to keep us feeling alive and happy.


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
    Thank you so much dear friend George for an exceptional rating and fantastic review. I hope you are doing well.:))

    Cheers,

    Gloria
Comment by
apky
 
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Great read, Gloria, even if I had to sort of streak through it. I enjoyed.
Sorry, still having little time for a thorough review.

Ah, the blissful state of innocent youth!
~I didn't know what a draft dodger was but I figured him being a man, made him old, and him being a long-hair, made him dangerous. That was thrilling to me, not the old part, the dangerous part.


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
    Thank you so much Apky. No worries, it's difficult to read every piece really carefully, so I much appreciate your time and effort. :))

    Cheers,

    Gloria
Comment by
2018 Short Works Writer of the Year
Mustang Patty
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi, Gloria;
thank you for sharing this wonderful story about the years of Vietnam, and the effects draft dodgers from American had in Canada.

I wish my tale of finding the love of reading was this dramatic and full of young angst. This was a very good read.

A nit: 'by a (an) ill-kempt park.'

~patty~


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
    Thank you so much for a terrific review, Patty. I made the amendment and your keen eye is most appreciated.

    Cheers,

    Gloria
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
Level 1 Pro
Premier Poet
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  Rank:  91
 
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This is a great story Gloria. I thought you were just a poet! I don't remember reading any prose written by you before. You made your heroine sound real and curious as a young girl her age would be. Well done my friend. Nancy


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 13-Oct-2017
    Actually I've posted quite a few prose posts on the site. Thank you so much for a great review. Most appreciated.

    Cheers,

    Gloria
Comment by
Mark Valentine
Premier Author
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  Rank:  62
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  Rank:  10
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Review Stars
  Rank:  116
 

#10 Ranked Author
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Holy Crap - is this good! I was just planning on glancing at it (I'm at work now) and maybe coming back to read it more thoroughly later, when the phrase "it was also the summer Rodney Sarsgaard killed himself once and for all." grabbed me. I just couldn't stop. I hope you write more from this same POV. There's something about stories of individuals set against a backdrop of important world events ( "A Separate Peace", "Gone With the Wind", "Casablanca", to name a few) that are so compelling.

The writing is exquisite - you evoke that era with subtle images like the "tinny transistor radio" and the Rexall drug store. And you inhabit the point of view of an eleven year-old girl perfectly. (I think, anyway - I've never been an eleven year-old girl) - but I do know what it was like to come of age in the sixties and to try to make sense of what was going on in the world." It is such a compelling story - innocence trying to grapple with a world of war and death and conflicting values. You tell it so well.

Adding the fox into the mix is a stroke of genius. I love how you use the fox as a metaphor. The line about his stare - "I didn't know at the time how special that was, but I do now." stops the reader in his/her tracks - it's awesome.

One of the best stories I've read on this site - congrats in advance on your Story of the Month win.


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
    What?! You haven't ever been an eleven year old girl, Mark? Then you must get to work on that, only in a fiction story though. Thank you so much for an exceptional rating and review, and you've given me the idea I might write a few more stories from that POV, especially about the tinny transistor radio. lol

    Always great to hear you and I most appreciate the exceptional rating as I admire your writing greatly.

    Cheers,

    Gloria
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
Story Catcher
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  21 (+1)
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  Rank:  16
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Review Stars
  Rank:  45
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Gloria,

This is marvelous. It read like the most amazing, well-written piece of music. Why don't you write prose more often? I didn't even realize your were capable of this. *smile* Though I don't know why I should be surprised. It you make words do tricks that compare to Cirque Du Soleil's tricks with people ... and space ... and juggling ... and ... well ... you see what I'm saying. *smile*

I would like to suggest you enter this in the Writer's Digest Short Short Story Competition. Here's the info:

http://www.writersdigest.com/writers-digest-competitions/short-short-story-competition

The only problem is that the contest is for 1500 words or less and your piece is 1563 words (1535 without the quote.) Think about it. The deadline is November 15, 2017.

Good luck! But, I like the story -- great job!


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
    Thank you so much Robyn for the exceptional rating and fabulous review. I will consider entering into the short story competition and I much appreciate you providing that information to me. It would be an easy enough thing to eliminate a few words to make it fit. It likely needs another editing shave anyway.

    Thank you so much for the exceptional rating and encouragement.

    Cheers,

    Gloria
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  7
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  68
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Review Stars
  
 Rank:  4
 

#7 Ranked Poet

#4 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A very well-written adventurous poem. The first love is the one that is never forgotten even when nothing cones from it. It also determine how we look at possible lovers in the future.


 Comment Written 12-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2017
    Thank you so much, Sandra. You are terrific and appreciated.

    Gloria
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