Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Loop Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 3 Days

My Faith
Deadline: Oct 30th

Halloween Flash Fiction
Deadline: Oct 31st

Halloween Poetry
Deadline: Oct 31st

Haiku
Deadline: Nov 2nd


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Bewitching Halloween


Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Bitter Dregs"

Poems fun and scary

  39 total reviews 
Comment by
sandramitchell
Level 1 Pro
Sandra Mitchell
Sandra Stoner Mitc
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  116
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  1
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  19
 

#1 Ranked Novelist!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Marilyn, it's strange to read your poem today, I was watching a programme on the television over the weekend where this was actually in the story. A woman wouldn't confess and had huge weights put on her to 'squash' her to death, and a young lad was hung drawn and quartered for the same reason. I'd heard the expression but never gave it any thought, until then. What were the people who lived in those days? While all this was happening in the village square, the people were loving it! Were they really human? I wish we could know where they ended up, I hope it was hell. Well done on your poem, my friend. I've never read one like this from you before. :) Sandra xx


 Comment Written 01-Nov-2017



reply by the author on 01-Nov-2017
    Hi Sandra. Thank you for your review and comments which are so appreciated. I have written on all types of topics. I do like variety in what I write and usually it is whatever is in the forefront of my brain at the moment. People think that the days we live in presently are barbaric and certainly they are. But, barbarism is nothing new. History has shown us how vile human beings can be to each other and animals. Many times citizens themselves are powerless to do anything when faced with such cruelty. Marilyn
Comment by
Ogden
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  143
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  156
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  417
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Marilyn, kudos on this convincing story of 17th century intolerance. Your careful metering, rhyming, and a dramatic illustration, all contribute to the poem's excellence. I hope the contest judges share my appreciation.
Don


 Comment Written 01-Nov-2017



reply by the author on 01-Nov-2017
    Hi Don. Thank you very much for your fine review and comments. Marilyn

reply by Ogden on 01-Nov-2017
    You're very welcome, of course.
Comment by
F. Wehr3
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Great work, Marilyn! The Salem witch trials were a farce to be sure. I think it was the first time that dreams could be entered in as evidence. I did notice one issue with rhyme lips and quipped. Normally, I would just says use quips, but then you would have an issue with past versus present tense verbs.

Good luck,
Russell


 Comment Written 30-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 30-Oct-2017
    Thank you for your review of my poem, Russell. It was a terrible time to live in fear like that. Salem wasn't the only town. It was widespread in the American colonies, but Salem was the most prominent. Marilyn
Comment by
2019 Poet of the Year
Dolly'sPoems
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  2
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  4
 

#2 Ranked Poet

#4 Ranked Reviewer
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is a tragic tale of horrific torture which of course was prevalent in those days. Even today people can be found guilty by media trial without any explanation or truth, so it must have been terrifying in those days. Your poem is so well written Marilyn with great rhymes, love Dolly x


 Comment Written 30-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 30-Oct-2017
    Thank you very much for your wonderful review, Dolly. A terrible thing to convict anyone without evidence and there was none in the witch trials--only fear, suspicion, and hysteria. I do think it is important to not erase unpleasant history, otherwise people aren't even aware of such awful things. Marilyn
Comment by
Poetic Friend
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  134
Review Stars
  Rank:  176
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Marilyn,

I like your approach to this Halloween Poem -- the Salem's Witch sentencing. Not many people would have thought of this concept as a Halloween Poem.

Although I am quite aware of this sentencing, your poem and author's notes provided additional insight.

Also, the poem has been well-written in perfect rhyme and meter.

This poem certainly has winning potential. Good luck.


 Comment Written 30-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 30-Oct-2017
    Thank you very much for your wonderful review. It was a sad time in the history of the American colonies and we shouldn't whitewash it. Salem wasn't the only town who persecuted/prosecuted suspected witches. Marilyn
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  30
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  11
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  11
Script Rating
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  8
 

#3 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a neat poem based on a 'witch's' wish to be the taker of her own life as opposed to the holy-than-thou hypocrites in the colonies.


 Comment Written 29-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 30-Oct-2017
    Hi Bill. It was a terrible time in history when people suspected of witchcraft were persecuted/prosecuted. Thank you for reading and for your fine review. Marilyn
Comment by
TAB_that's me
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I just watch CBS Sunday morning and they had a little thing about Salem in 1692.

I think I would have rather drank the poison than to put myself in their hands to be hanged.

I loved this different and unique Halloween poem.

good luck Marilyn:)

teresa


 Comment Written 29-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 29-Oct-2017
    Thank you so much, Teresa, for your great review and comments. I grew up in a town close to Salem and have been there quite a few times. A terrible time in history of the colonies. Salem was not the only town to persecute/prosecute innocent people in the name of false accusations of witchcraft. Marilyn
Comment by
CD Richards
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  117
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  224
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I won't offer any comments on the historical background to this poem - I'd likely be hung myself :)

One suggestion: to me, the second line of the second stanza seems a syllable short - I think "of which there is not any" would scan better.

This is a very good piece of work, Marilyn. As gruesome as the tale it tells, I enjoyed reading it.

Craig


 Comment Written 29-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 29-Oct-2017
    Hi Craig. I believe I would have been hung, too. Thank you for your fine review and suggestion. There were a couple of places that needed rewrite--which I have done. Again--thank you. Marilyn
Comment by
Warren Rodgers
Level 2 Pro
Fanstory Recognized Writer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  185
Review Stars
  Rank:  399
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Nicely done, Marilyn,
Your poem is written with very good abab rhyming and alternating 8/6 syllable lines. Your meter is just a bit off on a few lines. I do have a few suggestions that you may want to consider. On line 1, if you insert the word "the". "I'll die before the morn, she said" it would be in perfect meter. In verse two on line 4 you utilize feminine end rhyme (7 syllables with the last syllable unstressed "A VIEW that's SHARED by MAN -y. which is perfectly acceptable but many poets try to match the meter on rhyming lines. My suggestion for line two would be to remove the contraction and simply make it two words so it metrically matches line 4. It would then read "of WHICH there IS not AN-y". In verse three line 3 sounds a little off but I think it is as good as it can be written using hysteria and judged, great word choices by the way. I think line 4 would be better with 'your" instead of "an" since the stress falls on the fourth syllable in that line. "God knows it's your excuse" .
The last line starts with a stress SWAL - low -ing. perhaps: then swallowed bitter dregs. You've written a very good poem for the contest and I hope my suggestions are helpful.; Take or leave some or all, it is up to you. But I always feel anything that can be improved will give you a better chance of winning.
Good luck!
all the best
Rodger


 Comment Written 28-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
    Hi Rodger. I appreciate the time you've taken to go over my poem and thank you for your helpful suggestions so much. I'll play with the wording tomorrow. Marilyn

reply by the author on 29-Oct-2017
    Hi Rodger. Thank you for your suggestions and help with meter. I've changed a couple of things in the poem. Again, thank you. Marilyn
Comment by
B.B. Rose
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
You bring up a terror filled era in our history and capture the mood nicely with this ode. You've created in these few words a woman who was strong and "different." These weren't qualities appreciated then in that rigid community. They aren't even much appreciated today.


 Comment Written 28-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
    Thank you, Rose, for reviewing my poem and for your supportive review. Yes, it was a terror-filled time in our history. Marilyn
  -1-  2 3 4  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Slicker Than an Oil Stain
Not everything always goes to plan


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy