Status
New Here?
 Fast! Three Questions.
Already a member?
Writing Classes
0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.
|
|
 |
27 total reviews
|
Comment by | | | | | Poet Rating      | Author Rating For Short Works      | Author Rating For Novels      | Review Stars   Rank: 168 | | |
|
|
|
Hey, Jay...
I read through this chapter of the illusion crashers, read it before, years ago, and I enjoyed it all again. The analogy and examples still bring me great joy as I relate to the pain of seeing them, and recalling all the times I may have seen them before, maybe in my own writing ... maybe in reviewing others, but never really have the words, or confidence, to call it out. Sometimes these types of flaws are sensed more then seen.
Sad to me when I find a gramatically fine piece that feels all wrong, but can't find the words to say... hey, you're interjecting backstory... you're telling the whole tale, or worst of all in my eyes, the characters are looking AT me while speaking... like a bad soap-opera.
What I appreciate and love about this post...
Your voice and personality and keen patience in taking complicated concepts and laying them across the table in an understandable way. Yes, this is standing on the 'as a reviewer' I look for this, but in order to even broach the conversation, the understanding has to be there.
It's very easy to correct missing (or too many commas) ... or maybe a clunky sentence here and there, But how does a reviewer (or a writer) even come to terms with the reality crashers you address here, if they only sense... yuck ... but not really a foundation of why they feel distanced from the story at hand?
speaking of comma's...
Sometimes this is necessary to increase the pace of the narrative and to move the story from one physical place to another or back (or I suppose forward)[,] in time.
(Not sure this comma is needed)
unwelcome "someone else" to the story.
(I really loved the example for this crasher. Delightful to watch Mary and Mark's exchange, to then feel the intrusion. Very well done, in the extreme to help illuminate the point)
who secured a management position at the local Taco Bell.
(Ha, the amount of pure wit and personality, humor, and clear goal between the samples is really a treat to behold. I remember enjoying the examples here quite a bit when I read this a long time ago. Still do, on revisiting.)
"Our daughter's all grown up and going off to college."
(Oh, the woes of Expository dialogue. This is by far my favorite part of this section. I can only hope someone will bop me over the head if my dialogue gets expository.)
|

Comment Written 06-Dec-2017 |
|
|
|
| 
|
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2017
You make posting these so worthwhile, Turtle. Especially when you read it on the first go-round and still find their validity. Once again, you are worthy of a thumbs up!
|
 |
|
|
|
|
Comment by
|
|
|
Jay, I always begin reading your critter essays by holding my breath as long as I could because I do not even want the activity of breathing to get in the way of my focus, but, alas, I must read and breath.
I had a great and informative time in this chapter about "author intrusion" and strategies to avoid it. One thing you accomplished was that you voiced what I had intuited but for which I had lacked the words. You use language and metaphors I can grasp such as The Thoroughfare vs. the Surface Streets.
This is another phrase I understood The Character "psssssst". I recalled many examples that I have encountered this in my readings.
I pulled out key lines that resonated with me:
My main concern here is the transition into and away from dialogue. It can be a distraction, an illusion crasher, unless handled adroitly.
The reader needs to be part of the unfolding present action of the plot.
I ask no more from the writer than to have the incantation of his words on the page so thoroughly engage me I am oblivious to the tape and staples and glue that hold all the parts together.
I'm forced outside the story; I've become merely an eavesdropper!
"Didn't you feel gaggingly set-up?" Yes.
You conclude with these words that sum up the journey the reader wants from a writer:
Above all, the reader wants to fully engage his own brain and his own heart, to let both resonate with the thoughts and feelings of those characters who are let loose in their own created world.
This is an informative essay whose lessons I could put to work in my writing and critting.
Thank yo for sharing.
|

Comment Written 02-Dec-2017 |
|
|
|
| 
|
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2017
Andre, I can always count on your crits to validate the effort I put into developing the concepts. You make me feel it is all worthwhile. We are in a new month, I can't think of a better way to recognize your keen judgment than to award you one of those thumb-thingies. Bless you, friend.
|

|
reply by Sis Cat on 03-Dec-2017
Thanks, Jay, I appreciate it.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
Comment by
|
|
|
|
|
Comment by 2019 Script Writer of the Year | | | | | | Poet Rating     Rank: 24 | Author Rating For Short Works     Rank: 9 (+1) | Author Rating For Novels     Rank: 10 | Script Rating      | Review Stars            Rank: 9 | | |
|
|
|
I actually wrote a huge and brilliant review of this piece and it all went into the ether. I remarked that the 'Is there someone else...Yes, the author' to describe author intrusion really sets the idea in stone for me.
Also, having the reader 'oblivious to the paper and staples' is a concept to keep in mind whenever trying to create a meaningful moment.You make this so clear and amusing.
Bringing a story element up through the back door of recall makes sense, especially as I attempt to rewrite a novel I'm inverting go begin in the middle.
I think that trying to get the whole story told quickly is one of my main problems. I guess I fear that the reader will lose interest before I get to what I think is what would interest them.
Your instruction is amazing and keeps me reading it with a smile.
|

Comment Written 28-Nov-2017 |
|
|
|
| 
|
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2017
I admire your work so much, Bill, that, when I get such a glowing compliment from you, I'm humbled. It shows I must be doing something right.
I don't know whether or not you'd be interested, but I'm going to be offering a free newsletter in a month or so. It will be specifically directed to writers and contain short articles and shorter "tips", along with quotes from established writers. I hope it translates to a viable forum for subscribers to bounce thoughts and ideas off each other.
In the meanwhile, thanks so much for your kindness and the generosity contained in your six lovely stars.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
Comment by | | | | Review Stars  | | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Comment by | Premier Author | | Premier Reader | | Poet Rating      | Author Rating For Short Works      | Author Rating For Novels      | Script Rating      | Review Stars      Rank: 272 | | |
|
|
|
|
|
Comment by
|
|
|
|
|
Comment by | Premier Author | | Premier Reader | | Poet Rating      | Author Rating For Short Works      | Author Rating For Novels      | Review Stars   | | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |