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Reviews from
July 1996-Part Two


continuing from July 1996-second part

  20 total reviews 
Comment by
nomi338
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  Rank:  70
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  Rank:  79
 
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You are so correct in avoiding contact with psychics and the like. I believe that they are controlled by evil spirits who prey on the unwary and the curious. Trust God and your crooked paths will be made straight. As for the shenanigans going on at the funeral, remember that fools do not care about their location, fools will be fools whenever, wherever and however. That is who they are, that is what they do. Your work is powerfully engaging, I cannot stop reading it and for now I must. I have been delaying posting a poem that is near and dear to me. I recently discovered it in a place that I had forgotten about. It is entitled "With each passing day."


 Comment Written 06-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
    Thank you so much Nomi and I know that now you do realize just how much I know to stay away for Psychics. (Dueteronomy 18:10-14) We know there are many other scriptures that warn against things like these.

    Thank you for the compliments about my poetry. We know that poetry is a sure gift from Jehovah especially in my case as I prayed specifically for this gift. It was poetry that I needed to get out of my system to get past this kind of pain. He always knows what we need.

    I will try to start writing more spiritual poetry now. Thank you for being such a loyal supporter and I am so happy that you are my brother.

    I just posted my exit poem but when you read it you will understand my decision. I will be reading ore of your work but especially the poetry that you sent me. You are so awesome.
Comment by
2018 Novelist of the Year.
2017 Short Works and 2017 Script Writer of the Year.
Thomas Bowling
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There is no getting over some things. Any words would only seem trite at a time of such sorrow, This must have been very difficult for you to write about. My heart goes out to you and the family.


 Comment Written 03-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Ah! I see that you have found part two. Difficult but so very important. It cleansed my heart to be able to even put it into words that satisfied my soul. Thank you some much for reading these two pieces. The first part introduced the whole tragedy so one day, I hope you will read it. I truly appreciate that you have taken the time to read these two parts and I shall continue to read all of your work as I do enjoy reading what you write. My deepest appreciation...
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
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  Rank:  62
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 Rank:  66
 
Gert sherwood Recommends:
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Excellent
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Hello I recall reading part one of July 1996 and how I was impressed of how your wrote about you got the weirdest call from a Phychic who told you that she had a message from my sister who is gone (died) but she is not alone.
How of your rightful feeling of what made you upset at the burial?
Gert


 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Thank you so much, Gert. I am so happy that you have found this piece. I did post the third and final part of this poem, this morning. I hope when you find time, you will read it. It is a much shorter poem. Thank you so much for all of your loyal support of my work. I truly appreciate your reviews and kind words.
Comment by
Maria Jose Garcia
 
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It's terrible to think you've had to put up with so many tragedies.
The second part of your poem is a great way to explain everything that happened, you really have enough material for a whole book.
These are my favourite lines. They are beautiful:
But while I'm going on with life, I'll be thinking I'm alright
when out of nowhere a scare or an unexpected sigh
and then an ask of why then feel a sudden need to cry,
and it just takes my breath away and then it ruins my whole day,
because it's that hopeless wishing, that not dismissing
the missing of our precious that all just leaves me
so hopelessly restless and it begs the question, "Why?"
But there is never a why for a why for a why
but it ruined all of the future Julys
because to me after that...all Julys had died.
Thanks for asking me to read this. It's been worth it.


 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 03-Jan-2018
    Thank you, Maria. You are the greatest. I love it that you pointed out the favorite lines. This poem means so much to me. My sisters were so important to my heart, my life. I truly miss them. Thank you again for being such a loyal supporter.
Comment by
kiwigirl2821
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  Rank:  325
 
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The love of a person like you Tier is too special to let it be diminished by rude or unruly behaviour of people that are not ever going to really get it. I'm glad you keep these writes close to you so that you NEVER forget. Life may cycle but love transcends and God is just forever! Peace be with you always my friend.

xoxo Kiwi


 Comment Written 02-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    Thank you so much, Deb for reading and reviewing this second part of this story. it is so important to me to get it all down the way I do here. It is helping me to set up my storylines for the autobiography. I thank you for realizing this and mentioning it. Some people aren't as understanding and think that this is all I write about but there is a reason for this and so I do what I must do to get it done correctly. I am so appreciative for your loyal support and friendship. you are so amazing...
Comment by
Sis Cat
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
First of all, Tier, I am sorry for your multiple losses. It was a horrible year which cast a long shadow on your family as revealed in your stunning poem which begins as a matter of fact prose poem because you are so numb with grief. You speak plainly like a reporter:

We walked in and there were two coffins...and then,
two family talks, two Eulogies,
two separate families, two family tragedies.

You write of the parallel tragedies and how the two families feel separate, and also act separate as in these lines:

Two burial plots in the cemetery for their two coffins
but someone dared to put all of the flowers on top of only one
and that got my attention but I don't have to mention "whose coffin!"

Slighted and in psychic pain, you redistribute the flowers and struggle to remain silent about the insult.

It was almost like a slow torture for me
to keep my control and to keep my mouth closed.

This is a signature line: there is never a why for a why for a why

This reverberates throughout your poem. I do want to know if this section is the actual poem you read at the funeral?:

Pamela and Norman...
were so together in life but now are so together in death,

This is a raw, painful poem to write. Your use of scattered rhymes and dazzling word play quieted before and during the funerals and began to recover afterwards, although grief weighs you down and haunts you still.

I found a couple of grammar errors: omit "to": all Julys had (to) died.

Use lowercase for "eulogies."

After I found you had misspelled "weird" in you author's notes I copied and pasted your notes in a Word Doc which revealed more spelling errors:

Suddenly, from a psychic, spiritualism

Thank you for sharing your profound poem of loss. You have my condolences and prayers.


 Comment Written 01-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    Hello my dearest friend and most true Mentor. You have always been so supportive and helpful from when I first became a Fan Storian. I cannot express enough just how much I deeply adore you. I actually imagine that one day I will come to California to see one of your performances and we would go out for drinks afterwards just for a good laugh and basically a friend's time of a thankfulness you so truly deserve. You have become someone that I admire so deeply, cherish, and yes, love so much. You are a dear friend and a loyal support for me and I will never, ever forget you. You are truly one of the greatest who will say in my heart and memory as all of the memories that I hold so dear.

    I did go back to make all of the corrections that you have pointed out. I cannot believe that I did not catch some of them. I don't know why I seem to always spell weird wrong. I have Grammarly and sometimes it adds words that I don't want there like the to in " all July had to died." I meant to put all Julys had died. I hate it that my computer changed it anyway and I did not catch it. I did finally fix everything though and thank you again for bringing it all to my attention. I totally appreciate the six stars and this review. Thank you, thank you, thank you...

reply by Sis Cat on 02-Jan-2018
    Tier, you are most welcome! I am glad I am able to help.
Comment by
Bucketlist
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Excellent
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Who will ever know why! We want to control our grief by putting death parameters on the timing, the individuals, and the emotions that disrupt our peace. The fact remains " Who are we to ask why?" Life comes and life goes,
whoever we are
We have to follow its flows.
It's disturbing that you had to styful your anger to lessen hurt to all that was terrible already.
Supressing x - That in itself increases risk of high BP

Hugs, and sympathy Trisha


 Comment Written 01-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    Thank you so much, Trisha: I am so happy that you did find the time to read the rest of this poem. I know that sometimes it is a lot for you so I will be writing shorter poems this year. Thank you again for this review and for taking the time to read it and respond to it with the kindness that you gave to me. Much love, my friend.
Comment by
Cheryl I
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Another great poem and you really know how to bring feelings out of a reader. You did a great job, Tier. Happy New Year, my friend. With warmth and love, Cheryl


 Comment Written 01-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    Thank you gain, Cheryl. You are truly a great friend and loyal support for me. There are no words to express my admiration and adoration for you so soon after we have met so you are truly an inspiration to me. Much love...
Comment by
MelB
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi Tier, this is a fantastic poem. I can feel the heartache, the loss, the anger, the frustration, etc. - all the emotions swirling in you. It amazes me that some people can't even put the petty stuff away at a funeral. I feel sorry for those people.


 Comment Written 01-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    Thank you again, Mel for following this poem. I did write one more poem in connection to this tragedy in July but I will post it possibly on Wednesday. I truly appreciate the support that you have given my work. It really means so much to me.

reply by MelB on 02-Jan-2018
    You're most welcome:)
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  2
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  11
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  2
 

#2 Ranked Author

#5 Ranked Poet

#2 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wow! So much happening and yet it sounds like the Lord was cradling you in His Hands knowing how much grief you were going through. Most people could not have survived so much loss in such a short period of time.

One suggestion:
"because to me after that...all Julys had to died. " (had to die or had died)


 Comment Written 31-Dec-2017



reply by the author on 02-Jan-2018
    Hello, my friend. Yes, I did go back to make all of the corrections. Sometimes my computer adds words that I didn't intend to put but thought I caught. This program that I have suggested adding the word to but I deleted it. It must have added it again anyway without my realizing it. I am confident that I have corrected everything now because I did see other errors. Thank you so much for your loyal support and encouragement. I totally appreciate you.
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