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Reviews from
Love's Despair (haibun)


Watching the embers die

  17 total reviews 
Comment by
Joan E.
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  42
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  37
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Thank you for reassuring us that this account of lost love is fictional, and for providing me with several examples of how short phrases can be even more powerful than long sentences. I admired your use of the "planets/galaxy" metaphor in describing the couple's drifting apart. Your concluding haiku, with its shift in imagery and mood, plus its use of alliteration, is quite effective and is well reinforced by the artwork you selected. Sighs- Joan


 Comment Written 12-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 12-Aug-2018
    Thanks for the stars. Glad you looked it up. There aren't a lot of people who write these, but so much rooonm to explore and create one's own style.
Comment by
2019 Novelist of the Year
Ulla
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  67
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  170
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  40
 

#3 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hello, Ingrid, I loved your haibun. It's very well written and it hit home. I've just divorced, and happily so, I may ad, but a break up is always a bit bitter sweet. You reminded me of that. All the best.Ulla:)))


 Comment Written 09-Apr-2018



reply by the author on 09-Apr-2018
    Well, fortunately, this memory is grounded in a time 20 years ago. It's the perfect time for a relationship autopsy--making sure you only bring positives forward and burn the rest. Good luck in your new life. Thanks for the read.
Comment by
forestport12
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  74
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  22
Review Stars
  Rank:  162
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I've almost forgotten how lyrical your prose can be and how you can end a sentence/thought with such memorable moment. There should be no expiration date on a good writing. I know sometimes we can feel like we live life as if the chapter ended and we are out of print. You still got it. Cheers. Stan


 Comment Written 08-Apr-2018



reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
    Sran, you review means a great deal to me, a recognition of what we are cable of achieving. Snowbird has NEVER left my soul, and somehow I want to believe Clint Eastwood will get his hands in your book. Snowbird still lives in my soul. My eyes are failing, I'm trying to regroup. Thanks.
Comment by
Linda Engel
Premier Author
Having fun with my Fan Story friends while petting the cat.
 
Poet Rating
 
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Excellent
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Anyone who has ever endured such a relationship knows exactly what your character feels. Thank goodness I had one of these a very long time ago. Now the memory as all but faded and I am in a better place. It is good to read your work again. I miss your adventurous stories.


 Comment Written 08-Apr-2018



reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
    This is a flashback and perhaps the echo of my hauntings. The eyes have hailed me and I haven't come to terms with it all. I can type--but not read. Thank you.
Comment by
Jumbo J
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Ingrid,
still the haibun Queen!
The richness in the 'S' sounds and the magic of the metaphoric technique set your prose up perfectly... so poetic, so right!

Then straight into another style prose... a more lyrically spoken reality. Crumbled stale bread laid for the carrion's clean-up. This section demanded a pause and a re-read for the purity and honesty it portrays... a hopelessness and beautifully sad in the reflection of a rear-view mirror!

And for your haiku... your three liner says it all in language of a stark conclusion... waste management indeed!

So happy I was able to sit in front of the screen today to receive one of my favorite authors creations. I love your take on this style of poetry my Queen.

As I am now only a standard member, my five stars are truly a six star-exceptional as this so richly deserves!

With our thoughts we create,
learned behaviour.
James vx's.

******Stars!!!!!! Standard members starts!


 Comment Written 08-Apr-2018



reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
    You are the fift a few hundred words casts my way. I haven't written enough to be rated, and my soul screeches for words, connections, but my eyes have betrayed me...and I grive. Your review, your presence, means so much to me. Thank you.
Comment by
2012 Short Works Writer Of The Year
Realist101
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  662
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Excellent writing about a all too common deal. Seems no one stays together anymore and those of us who do, are miserable. LoL! It's better to be alone than in a relationship that's gone south. I enjoyed the terse style and appropriate haiku tho it reminds of old wounds. Nice work Ingrid.


 Comment Written 08-Apr-2018



reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
    Thanks. I;m not too active here anymore. but sometimes....

reply by Realist101 on 09-Apr-2018
    Me neither Ingrid. Just too much bs and health issues. I hope you're doing okay...
Comment by
Liberty Justice
Liberty Justice Premier Author
Liberty Justice Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  464
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
SIX STARS 6******for you, dear poet! What an amazing poem pouring out your raw emotional feelings of disappointment and anguish. Sounds like me life. Your use of metaphors and descriptive adjective tell your true feelings. WELL DONE. lol liberty justice


 Comment Written 07-Apr-2018



reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
    Though O showed it as fiction, it represents the exact place I was living at one time. There is a future. Do believe in that. Thanks for the stars.
Comment by
damommy
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  25
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  25
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  62
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Beautifully worded. You've captured the feelings of many relationships when things have gone stale. They start out so wonderful, but times change and so do people.



 Comment Written 07-Apr-2018



reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
    It was a time in my distant history I rarely think about, but is was an ugly place to live..Thanks.
Comment by
2016 and 2018 Script Write Of The Year
judiverse
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  26
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
  Rank:  1
Review Stars
  Rank:  34
 

#5 Ranked Author

#1 Ranked Script Writer!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is beautiful. You are so good at haibun. Your short sentences work well in this, as they help express the mood of the narrator. They reveal her frustration at the life she's led. How typical of the man to say it's her fault. They can be good at the blame game, and women are inclined to bear the responsibility. Your closing haiku is excellent. The flower, like the narrator, has surrendered hope. Last line "waste management" is powerhouse. Good to see something from you again. Glad you are keeping your hand in. judi


 Comment Written 07-Apr-2018



reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
    Haven't given up. just trying to adjust to my new reality. Thanks..

reply by judiverse on 08-Apr-2018
    You're welcome. Thinking of you, and glad you are still persevering. judi
Comment by
G.B. Smith
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


Been there before and it wasn't fun
we remembered the first kiss, the time we made love under a waterfall
our first new car, our first new home our first new kids but then we started to find other things to do. New jobs, friends, and places to go out with others, and it became waste management

Bear


 Comment Written 07-Apr-2018



reply by the author on 08-Apr-2018
    Sounds like you've been there. Thanks for reading.
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