Hard-Boiled Times
layiing it straight
Pays: 10 points.
82 member cents
Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

My Faith
Deadline: In 4 Days

Halloween Flash Fiction
Deadline: In 5 Days

Halloween Poetry
Deadline: In 5 Days

Haiku
Deadline: Nov 2nd

Dribble Flash Fiction
Deadline: Nov 4th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Sneaky Salesman


How one crook stole 6 months of my life

  7 total reviews 
Comment by
kingpin.101
Premier Author
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
The story is so realistic! The truth of how corporate businesses treat their co-workers could be so unfair, it's frustrating. I wish you gave a physical description of Greg. Was he a young guy fresh out of college? Was he just a cocky hotshot? We have a very detailed description of his personality, making the audience relate to the antagonist. Your voice with this story is fulled with honesty driving the message home. Anyways, amazing story with an awesome message. An inspiration for any young teens girls going into the work force.


 Comment Written 05-May-2018



reply by the author on 05-May-2018
    He was--real story--about five-seven, nice looking. but unremarkable Right away I pissed him off for being a 6' woman interviewing him in a man's industry. He tried flirting, flattering and undermining my ability for the job. A man who walked into an interview without doing any research and thought he could wing it/ Thanks for the read.
Comment by
schatzling
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I sat here and got so interested in your story, that even though I did not have the time now and was going to come back tomorrow to read it, I read it anyway. I thoroughly enjoyed it. AND I am honored you selected my Brooch Collage to accompany it. I must admit, they do go well together.....very well, actually. I thank you.

I would like to point out a few things, if I may....

You begin your fable with, "One of the most bizarre experienced..." The word experienced should be EXPERIENCES....ending with an S and not a D.

In your ninth paragraph, it states, "... my gut told me my worst nightmare was about to unfolded." You either should include the word "be", WAS ABOUT TO BE UNFOLDED..." or change the word unfolded to UNFOLD....was about to UNFOLD....removing the "ed" ending.

And in paragraph 11, you wrote "... he walked into my office selling; his mouth went into gear and never seemed to stop long enough to rake a breath..." The word "rake" should be replaced with "TAKE." Spellcheckers only catch words that are misspelled; rake was not misspelled, it was just the wrong word and a spell checker would not know the difference.

Thank you for sharing your talents with us. Really a GREAT story....Fable...the truth (smile).



 Comment Written 01-May-2018



reply by the author on 01-May-2018
    How very generous and detailed and greatly appreciated. Uf this is your personal collection you have some interesting and apparently valuable brooches. Very nice. Thank you very much.
Comment by
Harry Smith
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
The title of this drew me in and kept me there from the beginning until the end. This story is filled with lots and lots of imagery and emotions too. The reader really enjoyed.


 Comment Written 30-Apr-2018



reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
    Thank you very much.
Comment by
Alexander Vasa
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hello, good entry for the 'write a modern fable' competition. I think this is a strong story and best of luck with it. I try to follow my gut instincts in my job, too. Things don't always go as expected, especially in the workplace.

I noticed no errors and nothing jarred. I found this work well written and a narrative I would recommend to other readers for review, Ana.


 Comment Written 30-Apr-2018



reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
    Thank you very much.
Comment by
F Scott Hafner
Indeed
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Very interesting story. My was about an orange donkey who arrived via meteor and ended up on mars. Reading a true account was very interesting. I suppose those kind of con artists are everywhere. And what talent and skill you must have.


 Comment Written 30-Apr-2018



reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
    First let me say, you'll probably win and your alien donkey celebrated. Judging these contests is always subjective. I've been a member for a long time and know that most readers don't appreciate stories that are as long as mine, but in fact, this was a true story. I wish you the best of luck and truly appreciate your read and review.

reply by F Scott Hafner on 30-Apr-2018
    Yes indeed long stories don?t bode well nor ones that are clearly on point. But requiring a moral it would be hard to beat yours. Trust your instincts. Something so overlooked and the price paid.

reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
    Interesting enough, in the early days here, I battled and won a couple of trophies and then a few things changed in my thinking. Today, I treat this site like a great exercise arena, not the be all and end or the definitive evaluation of my writing. I feel better grounded since I began to write as I saw fit rather than trying to please the crowd. There's a bigger audience outside of the site. I had to remind myself of my goals. It's all good, room enough for us all. But, I hope you do well. No, damn it, I don't want YOU to win, but I'll cheer if you do. LOL.

reply by F Scott Hafner on 30-Apr-2018
    In later life I choose to do what I don?t do well, sing, write ... I like cheers the most for giving it a good shot but falling flat. A moment - noting the last note of a Broadway star?s song and un invited sing along. Did not come to note and was louder than her. After her rage subsided she said you are brave.

reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
    Brave and tone deaf trumps gutless and pitch perfect every time.

reply by F Scott Hafner on 30-Apr-2018
    Thanks for the cheer!

reply by F Scott Hafner on 30-Apr-2018
    I like your definition of Trump

reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
    Don't take it as a politcal analogy. It's a term in card games.

reply by F Scott Hafner on 30-Apr-2018
    games indeed! I suspect you match him in power if need be.

reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
    'I' not an American. Does that erase your inuend?
Comment by
Sharon Haiste
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  82
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  28
Review Stars
  Rank:  88
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I think this is a good entry for the Write a Modern Fable writing prompt.
Well written, the story is well told and draws the reader in.
Well done and good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon


 Comment Written 30-Apr-2018



reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
    Thanks for the review.
Comment by
Meia (MESAYERS)
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  161
Review Stars
  Rank:  477
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Though I thought I'd escaped the 'good old boys' network, I was wrong. Resentful that this little schmuck was becoming the bane of my existence in what had been a dream job, I was equally angry at Stanly."You're taking full responsibility?"
"Of course," Stanly replied in a voice that had an unspoken tag line--you silly girl.'
I lost out 10,000 pounds TWICE getting involved in business with men I believed I could trust and had every reason to- one was my ex partner of nine years. I walked away with nothing but a feeling I was stupid and should stay out of men's business. Then I watched the business flounder and fail without me as the one before had when I was forced out. I guess what goes around does come around. I loved this write well done and thanks so much for sharing. Kindest regards Meia xx


 Comment Written 30-Apr-2018



reply by the author on 30-Apr-2018
    I am really, really sorry for your experience. Amazing how when women step up and try for more, there's always someone to grind their faces into the dirt. I hope it's changed. Thanks for reading.
  -1-   Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Football Chapter 3 part 2
A mother faces life's struggles.


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy