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Reviews from
Remembering The Dance


Mild language--nothing graphic

  10 total reviews 
Comment by
Liz O'Neill
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  309 (+2)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  38
Review Stars
  Rank:  85
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is written in such a way that you draw the reader in wondering where you're going to take us. What a great sense of metaphor you have used and lived. What an adventure for the reader to vicariously enjoy. Well written..I voted for you.


 Comment Written 10-May-2018



reply by the author on 10-May-2018
    Wow. I'm very honored. Thanks so very much/
Comment by
Angela_Ulrich
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A lovely, tight, short story that kept me interested throughout. A few minor editing issues, but well worth the read. I haven't read any of the other stories in this contest yet, but I can definitely see myself casting my vote for this one unless another a story really goes above and beyond.


 Comment Written 10-May-2018



reply by the author on 10-May-2018
    Thank you very much for your kind words and contest consideration.
Comment by
HaleyBel
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Very good, how you saw a plain prickly cactus as a beautiful expression, like one of a bouquet of flowers. How the plant reminded you so many years on, of your love shared. It is one of hope to all authors out there too. Good luck in the competition.


 Comment Written 10-May-2018



reply by the author on 10-May-2018
    I appreciate the rad and review. Thanks.
Comment by
Tootie
Premier Author
Cathy Waldron
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  132
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  16
Review Stars
  Rank:  517
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is awesome! I LOVED IT! Excellent writing and you kept my interest from beginning to end. Well done. Thank you for such a good read. Keep writing!


 Comment Written 09-May-2018



reply by the author on 09-May-2018
    Well aren't you a charmer! What delightful words. All that celestial bling is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much.
Comment by
JC Shurburtt
 
 
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Very well-written and touching story using the cactus. I especially like the twist with how you met Bill. Probably needs to be a little tighter, but that's the case for nearly everything. Good work.


 Comment Written 09-May-2018



reply by the author on 09-May-2018
    Yes, it's a little long and likely doesn't need so extensive a backstory. Thanks for reading.
Comment by
Azure Sigh
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I definitely liked this story! Once it got going, I was invested in the characters and their interactions with each other. The whole thing with the cactus was great. I was a little confused about the timeline; when she first unwrapped the cactus at the beginning, it seems like Bill had sent it to her. But isn't this section told after Bill died? Overall, the story was good, creating a compelling and believable relationship out of two well-defined people. Well done.


 Comment Written 07-May-2018



reply by the author on 07-May-2018
    I did try to tell this story in a complicated time line that begins after the first date, goes back before then to fill in the back story then winds up after 30 years of marriage. Yes, I sprinkled in a few REMEMERING, but no doubt could cut the backstory down considerably and put more emphasis on the passage of time. Thanks for your kind words and generous review.
Comment by
giraffmang
Level 3 Pro
2018 2nd for short works
2017 Author of the year
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  255 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  21
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  271
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi there,

Good piece here. At first I thought the lead in was a little long but on balance it's probably fine. A good tone to the piece and the perspective holds true right through.

A few things I noticed on reading through-

"This plant is the most romantic flower I ever received. - need closing speech marks here.

emotions that churned as I floated on cloud none - nine?

and that's what I didn't know the editor's name before Bill and I were standing face to face. - this read a little awkwardly.

Are you going to legitimately going to make me - this too.

These two examples may just be in need of some punctuation to make them flow a little more.

Is my nook good enough - book.

stopped and listened to Bill - you could use him here as you've used Bill to kick the sentence off.

All the best
GMG


 Comment Written 07-May-2018



reply by the author on 07-May-2018
    Has anyone told you how funny you are? Even when you're pointing out my errors, you make me laugh--at myself as the sentences--with typos--come across totally different.

    Thanks for an outstanding review.
Comment by
RodG
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  64 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  44
Review Stars
  Rank:  79
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This story--like Katy's relationship with Bill--took awhile to really get going. Impatient for you to pull it together, I almost didn't finish It. But I'm glad I did. I love the opening when she receives the cactus and her roommate is stymied. The long middle as we are given Katy's backstory was a bit tedious, but when she gets the call from Random House and meets Bill again--well, you had me hooked. I really like HER, and how well you characterize her. Overall, though a bit too lengthy, it's still a great story with a wonderful ending.


 Comment Written 07-May-2018



reply by the author on 07-May-2018
    Yes, it is long, and I thank you for plowing through and for your review. Much appreciated.
Comment by
Sharon Haiste
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  83
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  28
Review Stars
  Rank:  84
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I think this is a good entry for the Romantic Flowers writing prompt.
Your story is well told and intriguing, drawing the reader in. Using the cactus as your romantic flower, and the symbol of your love, is clever.
Well done and good luck to you with this one in the competition.
Sharon


 Comment Written 07-May-2018



reply by the author on 07-May-2018
    Thank you so much for your review. It's greatly appreciated.
Comment by
Swampfox1
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I like the way you incorporate this line into the story -- " 'I could have missed the pain, but then I'd have missed the dance.' ". That is very true about life sometimes.
I also like this section of the story -- ""For what?" I blurted out, not sure how I got from a freelance writer desperately trying to get anything published to standing in the offices of Random House.". It is pretty cool. But you spelled creative with two "r"s . "Crreative wasn't criminal". It is a varied twist of unknowns but somehow seems to flow here and there but it is not quite what I expected.


 Comment Written 07-May-2018



reply by the author on 07-May-2018
    I appreciate and the typo alert. Irs a circular style in writing, beginning at the end and or middle rather than chronological order. Guess some like it and others not so much. Thanks.

reply by Swampfox1 on 07-May-2018
    you're welcome
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