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Reviews from
An uphill climb.


No one can do it for you.

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
Joan E.
 
Review Stars
  
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
What a dramatic artwork to match your theme! I admired your rhyme scheme in your quatrains. You had me at the "path/traps" metaphor. I hope you receive this response soon since I have an unstable internet connection on a short Mediterranean cruise along the coast of Italy and Greece. Fingers crossed- Joan


 Comment Written 21-May-2018



reply by the author on 21-May-2018
    Wow. Didn't realize we were going to Italy. Lol. My nephew left Friday for Milan. Thsnks for the great review. Had s little difficulty with the mixed meter. Not sure I've ever attempted that before
    Have a great trip

reply by Joan E. on 25-May-2018
    A lot of folks seem to be traveling these parts--I hope your nephew has been enjoying his trip as much as we have. Smiles- Joan

reply by the author on 25-May-2018
    HE IS. KEEP ON HAVING FUN

reply by Joan E. on 26-May-2018
    Thanks for your warmhearted response. Greetings from Athens- Joan
Comment by
kiwijenny
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Beautiful in its sadness.
You alone are at the helm...saddest line to me. I don't want anyone else holding my happiness ransom.
Well penned
God bless


 Comment Written 20-May-2018



reply by the author on 21-May-2018
    Thanks fot the great review.
Comment by
Jeffrey L. Michaux
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I like this poem and the message it conveys. I love the superb, clever, and skillful way you describe all of the elements of this well written poem. I really like this Dallas01! Well done.


 Comment Written 19-May-2018



reply by the author on 21-May-2018
    Thanks for the great review, Jeffrey.
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
Level 1 Pro
Premier Poet
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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Review Stars
  
 Rank:  58
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I love your poem about a love gone wrong, but I respectfully would like to suggest some changes.

Love's graveled path has many traps
they hinder from the very start--
A chain of trust with broken clasp
is knotted round your aching heart;

Deception hides its ugly head
beneath the sheets of empty bed--
with memories of love gone wrong,
the lyrics lost... a fading song;

The essence of a damaged soul
that struggles, lacking strength to rise-
above the depths of blackest hole
Where it may meet its own demise;

The likelihood of love's success
Relies now in the truth undressed,
Decision dwells not in my realm--
For you alone are at the helm.


This seems to be a double rispetto and I like it a lot. I hope I didn't insult you trying to help you with the meter. I tried to stay as close to your words as I could thinking the story to be the poet trying to reason with a person who is mourning the loss of a lover and pleading for him to notice her. I think it is a wonderful poem. Nancy


 Comment Written 19-May-2018



reply by the author on 21-May-2018
    I never get offended, Nancy. What I was doing was experiencing with mixed meter in subsequent stanzas. Thanks.
Comment by
2018 Novelist of the Year.
2017 Short Works and 2017 Script Writer of the Year.
Thomas Bowling
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
God has blessed me with the gift of forgetfulness. I don't dwell on past mistakes or failures. Someone once said, "An intelligent person doesn't spend a lot of time in front of a mirror looking for what might have been."


 Comment Written 19-May-2018



reply by the author on 21-May-2018
    Thanks, Tom. My philosophy also.
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
 
Review Stars
  
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A very well-written rhyming poem about life's battles we have to overcome to finally reach the top and be able to say we walk the path successfully and we can have a sense peace for what we achieved.


 Comment Written 19-May-2018



reply by the author on 21-May-2018
    Thanks for the kind review and the observations.
Comment by
2019 Short Works Writer of the Year
Ideasaregems-Dawn
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  48
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  68 (+1)
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  136
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wow! I wish I had a six for this jewel. Not only is it beautifully rhymed and metered, it is SO evocative, and resonates with me deeply. "A chain of trust with a broken clasp..." Oh, yeah...


 Comment Written 18-May-2018



reply by the author on 21-May-2018
    Thanks, Dawn. Was experiencing with mixed meter. Not real comfortable with thst process.
Comment by
meeshu
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I really like the pattern of this work. rhyming quatrains with it's central theme building throughout. I wish you the best in the contest, Dallas........meeshu


 Comment Written 18-May-2018



reply by the author on 18-May-2018
    Thanks, Meeshu. The different meter in the stanzas was tricky
Comment by
Swampfox1
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I love the first two lines -- "Love's graveled path with multiple traps
Hinders me from the very start--" That in itself is a mouthful and says a lot. Thanks for sharing


 Comment Written 18-May-2018



reply by the author on 18-May-2018
    Thanks for the great review. The mixed meter was a bit tricky.

reply by Swampfox1 on 18-May-2018
    you're welcome
Comment by
Mastery
Published Author
Semper Fi
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wow,Alice. I sure wish I had six stars left for this poem. Outstanding! This is so lyrical-sounding and the rhymes are fantastic. I think you have a winner here and wish you the best of luck. I am in your corner. :) Bob


 Comment Written 18-May-2018



reply by the author on 18-May-2018
    Thanks, Bob. And thanks for the virtual six. That mixed meter was tricky.
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