Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Love Poem Poetry Contest
Deadline: Tomorrow!

No Rules Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 5 Days

One Line Poem
Deadline: Oct 28th

Halloween Story
Deadline: Oct 31st

Halloween Poetry
Deadline: Oct 31st


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
The Piper


Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "The Piper, part 21"

Young Adult Fantasy

  14 total reviews 
Comment by
May 1
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  392
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I love the fact that I can imagine the smells so clearly. Haha, Sheba is awesome. Hm, I wonder what else are they hiding from him. At one point I even thought Redd-Leif was his father but now I am not sure. Then again I might be right. I love how you make me change my mind many times in one chapter, it makes it even more fun to read.


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
    Hi May 1,
    I love that you can imagine the smells, and that you like Sheba. She is fun to write. Hey, when you are stuck as a wolf, you have to have some fun.
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  25
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  32
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hello w.j.debi
I'm so glad that you stopped by and read one of my postings, otherwise, I wouldn't know about you fantasy story about the adventures of The Piper
I enjoyed it.
Gert


 Comment Written 03-Jun-2018



reply by the author on 03-Jun-2018
    Thank you, Gert. I am happy to hear you enjoyed it. Thanks for stopping by. Debi
Comment by
Writingfundimension
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi, Debi

What a splendid chapter! Your descriptions lend a deep sense of place. Though I am not too familiar with the characters, except Piper, I got a very good sense of their personalities as well. And you set up a fine degree of anticipation for what lays in the Elven Village and what it means for Piper's future.

Bravo, my friend.

:) Bev


 Comment Written 25-May-2018



reply by the author on 26-May-2018
    HI Bev,
    I hope you are doing well.
    Thank you so much for the kind comments and the six stars! It brightened my day and was unexpected since the piece has dropped off the promotion page.
    I check out your page from time to time, but looks like life is keeping you too busy to write much.
    Have a wonderful weekend!
    Debi

reply by Writingfundimension on 26-May-2018
    You're very welcome, Debi. I am very happy to see how your story has evolved in a real page-turner. I am off site using editing services on my first novel. I'm glad I checked in before you disappeared from my list!

    Hope you're enjoying the Memorial weekend.

    :) Bev
Comment by
2012 Script Writer Of The Year
Spitfire
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Once again, you've drawn me into your fantasy world. Your smart dialogue defines the characters and carries the plot along. Looks as if Piper is gradually awakening to find his identity.


 Comment Written 23-May-2018



reply by the author on 24-May-2018
    Thank you, Shari. I appreciate your encouragement. Debi
Comment by
Mastery
Published Author
Semper Fi
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  9
Review Stars
  
 

#9 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi, Debi. So good to see you post another chapter. I think you probbly take your time and only post when you feel you have yourn best stuff. Good for you. As you know some people on here post two and three items a dy on this site. How dom they do that? LOL Of course they are only doin it to move their names up up up in the rankings. Whew!

Now for your chapter, my friend:

You hv ewonderful imgery throughout your writing, like here:
"A stronger gust of wind whipped his cloak about him then settled back to a steady breeze. (from previous chapter notes)

Chpter 21: ghin your imagery shines for the reader, Deb. Like this: " The aromas of moist soil and forest vegetation hovered in the spring air."

And: "Up ahead Piper saw Redd-Leif leaning against a tree as if he were part of it, a silhouette against the pre-dawn sky."
(Wonderful)

And your interchange of dialogue is believble and flawless with very few taga.

Good for you! Blessings. Bob


 Comment Written 21-May-2018



reply by the author on 22-May-2018
    Hi Bob,
    Thanks so much for the wonderful review and taking time to point out what you liked. I appreciate the six stars too.
    Debi
Comment by
kiwijenny
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
For the next few minutes the sounds of the waking forest increased, each adding its part to nature's symphony: various bird song, chirping squirrels, animals rustling in the shrubs and forest canopy, and the sounds of insects. Overhead a hawk circle
I love how you capture nature
Well done
God bless


 Comment Written 20-May-2018



reply by the author on 22-May-2018
    Thank you for the kind comments.
    Debi
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
Level 1 Pro
Premier Poet
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  66
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  95
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  62
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Redd-Leif is having a very hard time getting the two of them to move a little faster. He knows how anxious Melodica
is to see her son Piper. She hasn't seen him for a long time. Meanwhile Captain Burkehart has ditched the rest of the Caravan and is searching for the missing boys. Will he be successful before they reach the Elven village? Well done Debi. Nancy


 Comment Written 20-May-2018



reply by the author on 22-May-2018
    Hi Nancy,
    Thank you for continuing to follow the story. I appreciate the analysis and the comments.
    Debi
Comment by
Rasmine
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hello, W.J. Debi,

Haven't seen you in a long time! Nice to read this awesome story. This is a lot better than my Piper. I can't wait for the next chapter so please stick around. :)

Nome


 Comment Written 20-May-2018



reply by the author on 23-May-2018
    Hi Rasmine,

    Thank you so much for the wonderful review and the six star rating. You made my day! I'll be checking out your Flower Power series and you have a Piper too? I'll be dropping by.

    Debi

reply by Rasmine on 24-May-2018
    Piper isn't on here. It's a story I wrote a very long time ago.
Comment by
giraffmang
Level 4 Pro
2018 2nd for short works
2017 Author of the year
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  178
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  25
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  122
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi there,

I was so glad to see another instalment of this tale, and I wasn't disappointed on reading it. All is as it should be. Very nice descriptive work and the tone, voice of the piece remains consistent with what has gone before. A good continuation.

All the best
G


 Comment Written 20-May-2018



reply by the author on 22-May-2018
    Thank you, G. I always appreciate your feedback. A thumbs up from you makes my day brighter!
Comment by
Roxanna Andrews
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  192
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  68 (+1)
Review Stars
  Rank:  187
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Another great and interesting chapter. I saw no errors and have no suggestions for improvements. I am looking forward to Piper meeting his mother and discovering his hidden heritage.


 Comment Written 20-May-2018



reply by the author on 23-May-2018
    Thank you so much for the encouraging comments, Roxanna. Piper will be jetting her soon. Debi
  -1-  2  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Rainy River
a free verse


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy