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Reviews from
Jackson Lucas Walter Wagstaff


Wag-staff Shake-spear

  26 total reviews 
Comment by
Brett Matthew West
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  Rank:  5
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  Rank:  144
 

#5 Ranked Script Writer
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His name is an absolute mouthful. Seems he also has a bit of a smart-alecky personality as evidenced by his response of the teacher's question about "What is this?" Also appears to clown around in a serious situation like doing work assigned by his teacher. This was demonstrated by "Lettuce go to Six Flags". This indicates his immaturity. No wonder he is failing the class. His imagination also shines forth with his interactions with Shakespeare. All-in-all, tends to illustrate what kids his age are about -- the me complex.


 Comment Written 28-May-2018



reply by the author on 28-May-2018
    Thanks you nailed it
Comment by
evilynne
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That's great! I think children of all ages will enjoy this tale. The play on words is a great lesson, and the mouse is a cute idea. Evi


 Comment Written 26-May-2018



reply by the author on 26-May-2018
    Thanks so much Evi especially for a six . I am honored
Comment by
ciliverde
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What a cute story, I love it. When I was four years old I said my brother was going to elephantery school (instead of elementary). He was outraged and my mother laughed and laughed. Anyway, the anonymouse writer is a sweet kid with a great imagination. She should have let him finish what he was going to say!
Delightful, and so much fun to read! I could see this as a wonderful book for kids with lots of colorful illustrations :)
Carol


 Comment Written 25-May-2018



reply by the author on 25-May-2018
    Thank you
Comment by
F. Wehr3
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I enjoyed this one, Jenny. Very clever with Shake-sword thing, and his propensity for using an e on his words. My only suggestion is the formatting. I would assemble them into paragraphs rather separated sentences.

Take care,
Russell


 Comment Written 25-May-2018



reply by the author on 25-May-2018
    Thank you
Comment by
meeshu
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1st post 03/24/18
 
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this is a very cute story and fun for children of all ages. I really like the ending of the story, it is very clever. a great job KiwiJen.............meeshu


 Comment Written 25-May-2018



reply by the author on 25-May-2018
    Thank you
Comment by
bob cullen
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This is cute. I think I might have enjoyed Fred and Gertrude more than Romeo and Juliet. And to think my teachers, the Marist Brothers never knew about the role a mouse played in writing those plays. And maybe even more, I was correct when I said his writing was close to eRATic.


 Comment Written 24-May-2018



reply by the author on 24-May-2018
    eRATic and anonyMOUSE should get together or would that be a CATastrophe?

reply by bob cullen on 24-May-2018
    DEAR me, a kiwi with a sense of humour!!! Just joking

reply by the author on 24-May-2018
    I'm part British married to an American..Does that help. Lol

reply by bob cullen on 24-May-2018
    It only confuses me further. My wife's a Pom and my son lived twelve years in Atlanta Georgia

reply by the author on 24-May-2018
    We lived in Atlanta Georgia . My son who was born in NZ went to Scotland had his baby there.
    My daughter dual NZ USA citizen lives in Cambodia....

reply by bob cullen on 24-May-2018
    You could almost host a United Nations meeting in your lounge room

reply by the author on 25-May-2018
    Yes I know...if we can get everyone together.
Comment by
LIJ Red
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Puns and plays on words. Too old for children, youngish perhaps for teens (who know everything) but I found a smile reading it, so I call it excellent.


 Comment Written 24-May-2018



reply by the author on 24-May-2018
    Thank you
Comment by
Desiree Duskin
 
 
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I really loved this. I loved the lines like 'What's your name young rodent?" he asked.' Fitting of the children's genre and also Shakespeare. I really am a fan of your writing. This one feels like it's a wonderful story for slightly older (7ish) kids with growing reading skills.


 Comment Written 24-May-2018



reply by the author on 24-May-2018
    Yes thank you
Comment by
Swampfox1
 
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It would make it easier to rank or rate the story and so much easier to review it if you had author notes explaining such things as what age group, the intention of the story, etc. Not trying to ask for too much just for some clarification. The top says simply Children's Fiction. There's a lot of age groups in children. At first glance the story depicts Jackson Lucas Walter Wagstaff as a special needs child or a child with a learning disability. It appears that the teacher is being a little pushy on such a child. I don't know if that is your intent or not. SOOO, is this actually a story about a mouse, a rat, or a child? The picture shows a human being. Maybe I am a bit confused. I don't know but I find the story confusing.


 Comment Written 24-May-2018



reply by the author on 24-May-2018
    Thanks

reply by Swampfox1 on 24-May-2018
    No Problem
Comment by
giraffmang
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  Rank:  140
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Hi there,

I enjoyed this. It has a certain charm to it and kids would like it a lot I think.

Few things I spotted on reading through-

used to show something close..," - you don't need the comma, just three dots for the ellipsis.

'this'! Why have you scribbled all over your paper?" - opening speech marks missing here.

because his teacher interrupted , - delete the space before the punctuation.

in front of a man who, looked just like the picture - don't think you need the comma here.



 Comment Written 24-May-2018



reply by the author on 24-May-2018
    Thanks I was that kid that constantly doodled and all my 'e's were mice.
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