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Reviews from
Missing Riders


Chapter 4 Footprints contest entry

  14 total reviews 
Comment by
Liz O'Neill
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  152
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  31
Review Stars
  Rank:  78
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is an excellent continuation. You have introduced new characters and another plot and yet have remained consistent with the era and culture even using appropriate terms. I love the name you have come up with, "Forgotten Springs." I could almost hear a discordant organ chord at that point in this fantastic fanstory soap opera. And the ending really challenges the next chapter writer. Well done.


 Comment Written 13-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 26-Jul-2019
    It has been nearly a year since I have been on the site. How delightful to find an unexpected review waiting. Thank you for the well written review with specifics on what you thought went well. I appreciate it. I'll be stopping by in a few days to check out your work.
Comment by
BeasPeas
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
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Your writing is clear and well described with good detail throughout. Dialogue between characters flows well. Much luck in the contest with this fine entry. Marilyn


 Comment Written 05-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 07-Jul-2018
    Thank you, Marilyn. I'm not sure this contest will ever get to a vote. We had four entries, but one has left the site so we are down to three. We need at least two more people to write a chapter to get it to the five required for a vote. Thanks for the encouraging comments about the writing. It is much appreciated.
    Debi

reply by BeasPeas on 07-Jul-2018
    Oh what an interesting concept. Each writer contributes a chapter. Good luck with getting the extra people. I've been in contests that lasted a long time. Judging kept being postponed. Marilyn
Comment by
2012 Script Writer Of The Year
Spitfire
 
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I'm not into fantasy fiction, but admire the attempt to link six chapters by different authors. That explains all the names which confused me. Still, this is a fine addition that gives the next writer a lot to work with.


 Comment Written 03-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 04-Jul-2018
    Thank you, Shari. I saw this poor contest has been out there since April and decided to add my bit. I appreciate you reading it.
Comment by
F. Wehr3
 
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Nice work on this part. It's been so long since I wrote the first part, I'd forgotten about Stephan. I'm glad you incorporated him.

but he had a voice wtih a penetrating --with

Take care,
Russell


 Comment Written 02-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018
    Hi Russell,
    I read your chapter through several times and one thing that caught my interest was Amira's comment about how Stephan had looked at her with pity. It made me wonder why. Did he do something? It was great foreshadowing and opened up all sorts of possibilities as to his role.

    Thanks for the kind comments. I appreciate you catching the nit as well. I'll get that corrected.
    Debir
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
Story Catcher
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  2
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  30
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  55
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  15
 

#2 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
WJ,

I just love what you've done here and what you've added to the story! My problem is that the contest will end and that will be it. I really am enjoying this story-line and think we're doing a pretty good job of putting this thing together! (In all humility!) haha

I think we should consider continuing it afterwards? I'd love to know everyone's opinions....

Thanks - great job. Good luck to you!!


 Comment Written 01-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 01-Jul-2018
    Hi Robyn,
    Thank you for the kind comments. I know I really thought the story was going well. I was off the site for a while and missed the contest when it started. (Lost my job in March and job hunting was top priority. Start a new job tomorrow. Yay!)At this point I think I am more interested in how the story ends or if it ever will. We need at least two more chapters for voting and I wonder if we will get two more authors interested. I wonder if we could just make it a multi author book and those of us that are interested could keep it going.
    Debi

reply by robyn corum on 01-Jul-2018
    That's what I'm thinking.
    I think they will eventually have to let it go to voting anyway. It's already been postponed for lack of entries several times. It will be interesting to see what happens. Good luck!

reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018
    Best of luck to you as well. I've read you chapter several times so I could make sure I kept the continuity. It' a great chapter. I'll have to an official review soon.

reply by robyn corum on 02-Jul-2018
    Oh that's okay -- that was good enough for me right there, and you won't get paid at this point. Don't worry about it! haha! Thanks!
Comment by
2018 Short Works Writer of the Year
Mustang Patty
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
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Hi there,

Thank you for sharing another chapter in this multi-author book. You have kept up the continuing story with the characters and medieval feel in language and time.

Poor Amira, she is tasked with saving the people, but she has little idea of how she's supposed to do it, but I'm sure she will find a way.

Good storytelling,

~patty~


 Comment Written 01-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018
    Hi Patty,
    Thank you so much for the kind comments and encouragement. I hope some others join us and help Amira find her purpose. LOL.
    Debi
Comment by
2019 Novelist of the Year
Ulla
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  103
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  126
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  Rank:  49
 

#2 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi there, it's very well written and I must say it did catch my attention. I'm not really into fantasy writing, but your story and writing really drew me in. Good luck in the contest.All the best. Ulla:))


 Comment Written 30-Jun-2018



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018
    Hi Ulla,
    Thank you so much for the kind comments and good luck wishes. Both are appreciated.
    Debi
Comment by
ciliverde
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I sure wish you posted more often, I really enjoy your work as it is not only fantasy fiction, but it feels believable. The characters are interesting and I'm drawn into the story quickly, and I think I saw a previous chapter of this and remember having the same feeling after reading...more! Great job,

Carol


 Comment Written 30-Jun-2018



reply by the author on 02-Jul-2018
    Hi Carol,
    Well if that isn't one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.
    The last few months have been stressful and I have found it hard to concentrate on writing because I knew in November that the company was downsizing and every month I had to let people go. My turn came in March. But today I started a new job so maybe I can get back to writing regularly.
    Thank you so much for the encouragement and kind words. You have no idea how much they mean to me.
    Debi

reply by ciliverde on 03-Jul-2018
    Your recent history sounds really awful, and painful. I hope your new job turns out to be better than the last one! And I do hope you're able to write more; I meant every word about your writing. It's not easy to make utter fantasy feel so real! Hug your horses for me and have a happy fourth! :))
Comment by
Mastery
Published Author
Semper Fi
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  9
Review Stars
  
 

#9 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi, Debi. You have done a marvelous job with this. Your imagination is on full display in the scenes you illustrate with words.

GHreat imagews throughouts.

Suggestion, if I may:
" I know I coveted my free time at her age." (Perhaps this for better emphasis: " I know I too, coveted my free time at her age."

You have come a long way with your writing, debi. Bravo! Bob


 Comment Written 30-Jun-2018



reply by the author on 30-Jun-2018
    Thank you for the encouraging comments, Bob. Thanks too for the suggestion to make the sentence and meaning stronger. I will get to it.
    Debi
Comment by
Rasmine
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hello, W.J.Debi,

This is really good. It's engaging and interesting. I hope you continue with it. Good luck in the contest.

I found some concerns:
"Is there a problem, my lord? (I think the thought and then the speech could go on separate lines.)" "Lusttra smirked (no quote around the tag).

Take care,
Nome


 Comment Written 30-Jun-2018



reply by the author on 30-Jun-2018
    Hi Nome,
    I hope someone will take up the next chapter. At least two more writers are needed for the contest to get to the voting stage. This contest was open in April and is still going.
    Thanks for the suggestions. I'll make the corrections.
    Debi

reply by Rasmine on 06-Jul-2018
    Hello,
    I think I left you a message on FaceBook. I won't be returning here; it's time to go for me.
    Take care,
    Nome
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