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80 Word Flash Fiction
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Reviews from
In A Flash ~ Flash Fiction


Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Triple Adagio"

Flash Fiction

  25 total reviews 
Comment by
2016 Poet Of The Year
Dean Kuch
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Some people dre...
 
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Apparently, the robber/thief/intruder in question got a shot off of his own in a metaphorical sense by causing this poor victim to suffer a heart attack, Marilyn.
At least that's what I took away from this short, albeit terrifying, tale of murder and mayhem.
As all good flash fiction do, your story has a definite beginning, a conflict, and a resolution.
And hey, let's face it, not all stories have a happy ending.
Much like real life.
Well done,
~Dean


 Comment Written 15-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 15-Jul-2018
    Hi Dean. Nope. Hubby died, perp was shot by the widow, widow dies of a heart attack while trapped under the bed because she couldn't reach her meds. (Widow gets off a shoot in the direction of the perp and shoots him dead.) Thank you so much for reading this one. Marilyn
Comment by
royowen
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I can see were you get the triple adagio from Marilyn. A great post and entry in this 100 word flash fiction contest. The sheer irony, the surprise ending, and the buildup were all very good my friend, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy


 Comment Written 14-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
    Hi Roy. Thank you for "getting" it. I didn't want to get to deep in "the weeds." Most people have understood that all three died--the hubby, the widow, and the perp. I appreciate your review. Marilyn

reply by royowen on 15-Jul-2018
    Well done Marilyn
Comment by
Robbie Yates
 
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Goodness, what passion and fear you packed into those 100 short words. Your warning is clear - and your character brave. I love how you threw us straight into the action.

Awesome job.


 Comment Written 14-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
    Hi Robbie. Thank you for your nice review which is much appreciated. Marilyn
Comment by
Lady Jane
Lady Jane
 
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Well, I'd like to say this was a fun write, but hopefully it wasn't biographical. This is written smoothly with no need for correction. She must have been an excellent shot. Good job and good luck in the contest. I wish you well.


 Comment Written 14-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 14-Jul-2018
    Hi JaCherie. Yes, she was aimed, fired, hit her target, and then died of a heart attack under the bed. Thank you for reading and reviewing. Much appreciated. Marilyn
Comment by
Cass Carlton
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Yes, very good thinking. Funerals in our family are usually announced in the paper on the day . When my son's funeral was held I asked a friend to stay at the house, just in case of phone calls. I never thought of anyone breaking in. This entry is very good. So contained and taut, yet having all the tension of a longer piece. Good Luck in the contest. cheers Cass


 Comment Written 13-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
    Hi Cass. Thank you for your great review and comments. Imagine the dismay of coming home to that on top of everything else. I remember you told me about your son's passing and I am so sorry. It's heartbreaking. Hugs, Marilyn
Comment by
WalkerMan
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This well written cautionary tale is a public service, as many people do not know about this particular burglary tactic. You set up the ending plausibly by showing that the widow hiding under the bed has a heart condition. The stress of such a situation certainly could be too much, despite her success in shooting the burglar before he might have found her. Excellent.

Sometimes it is the funeral home that releases notice to the press (as it is publicity for them), so they need to be told either to delay the notice until after the funeral or not to release it at all.


 Comment Written 13-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
    Hi Mike. When my ex-husband died in January (I was his caregiver and he lived with me) I opted for a private service--with a memorial later. Nothing was put in the paper because I knew of this tactic of thieves. Here in Wisconsin, hopefully nothing to worry about, but you never know. Thank you for your nice review and comments. Marilyn

reply by WalkerMan on 13-Jul-2018
    You are welcome, Marilyn. Yes, you were wise. This story may be the most effective way to get the point across to others before they find out the hard way. This tactic has been in use for decades, at least, and possibly for centuries. -- Mike
Comment by
karenina
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Wonderful flash fiction! Just exactly what a hundred word challenge should offer....a quick set up, a state of decision or circumstance and a resolution (good or bad!)---This held my interest and grabbed me by the collar! Your author's notes were very helpful as well. Most in my area have someone stay at the home during services and funeral... They used to include the ADDRESS of the deceased, at least in my parts they only say the town.... Still, how horrible people can be to stalk a grieving family! Great write--best of luck in the contest!

Karenina


 Comment Written 13-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
    I agree, Karenina. Thank you for your very nice review and comments. Marilyn

reply by karenina on 13-Jul-2018
    Great story! I bet you take first place! :)
Comment by
robyn corum
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Marilyn,

I thought this story was going great -- the lady had the wisdom to hide immediately, and then carefully fished her hubby's gun out to use without being noticed. But then, these exciting events still led to tragedy!

A nice story, though. But too much like real life! *smile*

Thanks!


 Comment Written 13-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
    Hi Robyn. Thank you for your great review and comments. Yes, it is a dark story. I thought I answered this, but I guess I didn't. Lately some posts have been sent twice. I don't know why. But it gives me a chance to thank the reviewer twice. Marilyn
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
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Hello Marilyn
Your flash fiction has loads of action of how
this lady finally shot the robber and my goodness she feels she is slipping away.
Thank you for your notes about not to let the media know.
Gert


 Comment Written 13-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
    Hi Gert. Thank you for your great review. Yes, she doesn't "make" it either. It is a dark story. Marilyn

reply by Gert sherwood on 14-Jul-2018
    Hello Marilyn
    Now you have me anxious to see what makes your story sooo dark,
    Gert
Comment by
Dorothy Farrell
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Hi Marilyn, this is an excellent piece - I loved it and think it is a fine entry to the contest. A good message captured with so few words - well done. Interesting information included in this clever story. Strange, it happened to us with my mother's death and subsequent funeral. We travelled North, 300 miles quite suddenly when she died, and were burgled while we were away. Awful isn't it - cashing in on people's grief. Good luck in the contest. (I love that Barber piece of music) Dorothy xx


 Comment Written 13-Jul-2018



reply by the author on 13-Jul-2018
    Hi Dorothy. Thank you for your wonderful review and comments. I am so sorry that this really did happen to you. The warning is not to publicize when you are away for ANY reason, whether it's a funeral, a wedding, or vacation, etc. Sad, isn't it? Marilyn
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