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Reviews from
New York...New York...


It's a Hell of a Town!

  56 total reviews 
Comment by
LateBloomer
Free Verse is free flow from the heart
~ Till we meet in print ~
 
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Hello Art Asylum, Born and raised in the heart of NYC, I can relate to everything in this poem. I lived very near the Broadway theater district. Yes, the city never sleeps, and I never slept very much either. Of special note:

The hook-and-ladder's rumbling along its chaotic trek.
My little sister is next to me, craning her curious neck.

(Yes, the fire engines and their sirens go day and night.
Now, as a sleeping New Yorker, when you hear the siren in the middle of the
night, you don't jump up--you just quietly listen. If the fire engines fly by your building or street, you just turn over. If the fire engine stops, you get up out
of bed and check on what's going on, and that's how New Yorkers deal with it...and now you know - lol.)

Also:
In the distant alleyway a jackhammer powers on,
ratting and tatting the concrete 'till it's gone.

(Don't think that jackhammers only work 9-5. They, too, work all day, and all night long--just like the city that never sleeps.)

A poem that happily brought me down memory lane. Although I didn't like to hear about the purse snatching, this poem made smile. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer



 Comment Written 10-Aug-2018


Comment by
evesayshi
 
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In my opinion, a startling write, considering the fact I remember New York differently, but as things have radically changed elsewhere, I certainly am not surprised that things in New York have too. I enjoyed my read and was totally immersed in it and your informative notes - fully compliant with the prompt. Best of luck in the contest...


 Comment Written 10-Aug-2018


Comment by
Pantygynt
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#4 Ranked Novelist
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You would probable have ended up being charged with assault -- at least that would what would probably happen in UK. Out police don't like being outclassed by amateurs and I wouldn't be surprised to find the Big Apple's finest taking the same attitude.

The poem captures the simultaneous moment really well. Everything happens at once and we just can't really take it all in. A pity you didn't have Crocodile Dundee's big knife. I loved that scene where he sees off the muggers.


 Comment Written 10-Aug-2018


Comment by
Dorothy Farrell
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Another good poem from you Art. This one, written in good couplets describes 'The
City That Never Sleeps' so well. Your words positively bounce off the page. I particularly like -
A Verizon worker next to me shouts down a passing car--
The driver gestures obscenely back; he's dying to spar...... Not an unusual occurrence anywhere in the world - LOL! This whole poem is a treat to read - great picture, very appropriate. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x


 Comment Written 10-Aug-2018


Comment by
Kerry Robinson
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Hello there. Yes, it certainly is a hell of a town. You did a great job painting a picture of the city. That is quite a story, I can't believe you chased the man. lol ~Kerry


 Comment Written 10-Aug-2018


Comment by
sandramitchell
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Sandra Mitchell
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#1 Ranked Novelist!
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I had my handbag snatched once, and it's the most horrible experience to have. These people don't care about what it means to the owner of whatever they've stolen. Everything was in my purse, passport, drivers licence, everything... I was on holiday. If I'd seen someone do that to someone else, I most probably would have reacted like you and not thought out the consequences. You might have been killed. It's the way of the world now, terrible to say it, but it's true. Well done for trying any way! :) Sandra xx


 Comment Written 10-Aug-2018


Comment by
Robbie Yates
 
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I love this poem - it truly captures the chaos and noise of a lively city! You might have described New York, but most of your very rich description could be applied to any city - and hence this poem is one that I am sure many will identify with. Well done!


 Comment Written 10-Aug-2018


Comment by
rama devi
May All Beings Be Happy
 
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What a dramatic experience. Sounds like a movie scene! Having grown up in NYC, I can attest to how accurate this finely rhymed account it! Brilliant and creative. Great bouncy beat...the groove of the city captured in rhyme. I also applaud your use of poetic devices, especially all the C-K-Q and S sounds woven deftly through with consonance and alliteraiton, etc. The rhymes and slant rhymes are outstanding!

Loved reading this aloud, especially:


The hook-and-ladder's rumbling along its chaotic trek.
My little sister is next to me, craning her curious neck.


A few punctuation suggestions:
The driver gestures obscenely back,(;) he's dying to spar.

*

A woman cries out, 'a(A) thug just stole my purse.'

*
Smiling, H(h)appy to be here, I'm quiet as a mouse.

One more suggestions;


In the distant alleyway a jackhammer is powered on
ratting and tatting the concrete 'till it's gone.

IS POWERED is passive. Suggest



In the distant alleyway a jackhammer powers on
ratting and tatting the concrete 'till it's gone.


Perfect closing note:

***No Wonder This City Never Sleeps***


Enjoyed this!

Almost a six. Bravo.

Warmly, rd


 Comment Written 09-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
    Thanks so much rama devi... I completely appreciate your help, corrections... yours, diana

reply by rama devi on 09-Aug-2018
    Thanks for your gracious response, dear Diana. I loved reading you again! I thought I'd fanned you...but your posts don't come to my inbox. Will try again. I only review intermittently these days. See you again! :-)
Comment by
RPSaxena
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hello Artasylum,
It's a nice piece of Humor Poetry beautifully depicting some glimpses of New York city.
Lucid and matching the theme wording.
Smooth flow throughout from the beginning to the end with lovely rhyming scheme.
Picture enhances beauty of the poem.
Best of Luck!


 Comment Written 09-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
    Thanks so very much for your stellar/plus-one review. I'm honored and grateful. You have made my day... Thanks so much again. yours, diana

reply by RPSaxena on 11-Aug-2018
    Diana, Most Welcome!
    Wishing you a pleasant weekend,
    ~ RP
Comment by
A. Willow Bends
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Wendy
 
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Out of six stars to award, so sorry! This was excellent. I have never been to New York, so I vicariously travelled there through your poem. What a great description and for your safety, I am sort of glad you didn't catch the purse snatcher! Great job with this, one can experience the place through your descriptive and creative piece! Good luck!
Wendy


 Comment Written 09-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018
    Thanks for your stellar wishes... I accept them and thank you for the extra plus... Yours, diana
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