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Reviews from
Love on the rocks...


pix club poem

  6 total reviews 
Comment by
BeasPeas
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  Rank:  18
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  Rank:  25
 
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Hi Tracey. This is a well written story poem of whalers lost in a storm when their ship went down. Rhyming and cadence are outstanding. I enjoyed this ironic tale of lamp not lit for lack of oil. Marilyn


 Comment Written 15-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 15-Aug-2018
    Good evening, Marilyn.

    It was you, last year or so ago, that suggested I join this pic club, if you remember. I left it in the end because I had the writer's blockage. Nice to be at it again :)


    Thanks for you review. I had Ole Moby in mind when writing this and seeing the lighthouse :)

    kind regards

    tracey
Comment by
l.raven
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Hi Twilight, back then they didn't have electric.....and counted on burning oils....and fuels...but most of all.....they didn't have alarm clocks.....hmmmmm.....I love your poem sweet lady....and love your beautiful picture.....very nicely written you....so good to see you...Love you much...Linda xxoo


 Comment Written 15-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 15-Aug-2018
    Hey Twosocks :)

    Thank you so much for your review and stars. I guess this was taken slightly from the epic tale of Moby Dick. It was a whaling ship that sunk and killed all of the crew because the whale oil had burned away...

    Thank you for yo special stars :)

    much love


    twilight x





reply by l.raven on 15-Aug-2018
    Hi Twilight, I read the book....a few times...and saw the movie...your always so welcome my sweet friend....smiling back at you....Twosocks....love you....xxoo

reply by the author on 15-Aug-2018
    :)

reply by l.raven on 15-Aug-2018
    Bigger smiles back to you....love xxoo

reply by the author on 15-Aug-2018
    How's the house moving coming along? Twosocks

reply by l.raven on 15-Aug-2018
    I?m going to sell it....but I will get another one....first I?m going to Florida to dog sit for my daughter.....and she is going to come here....then I am going to go to help my brother on the other side of Florida with my mom....one day at a time....Twilight....xxoo

reply by the author on 15-Aug-2018
    lol omg, I just laughed as I read your intro there... For a moment.
    You said...

    ' going to Florida to dog sit for my daughter.

    I had this vision of you back in the 60s having some seriously unusual sex parties... :)

    You are a busy wunny baddit... I hope you end up in a home to dream for and not too knackered after all this running about :)

    You sound like a dream mum and sister :)

    hugs

reply by l.raven on 15-Aug-2018
    LOL.....not.....LOL....going to watch a hamster, a dog, and a fish.....next time I get a house....I?ll make sure of a few things needed....or not....LOL....well my daughter says she loves me....LOL...we get along good together....mom too....

reply by the author on 15-Aug-2018
    May I suggest in that case, that you get to feel right at home and download; The life of pi :)

reply by l.raven on 15-Aug-2018
    Not a problem...at my daughters I just take my shoes of and relax by the pool....moms of course is alittle different....I watch where I step....not to get bit by a snake.....or eaten by a gator from the river....LOL...
Comment by
Shanbreen
 
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Well done Tracey. The poem with its abab rhyming scheme flows well and do not seem "forced". Some of your lines are memorable. For example,

Way back in time when clocks were wound.

I also love the last two lines when you brought back the reference to "whaling" oil being burnt out-- when there was no light in the lighthouse. It ties the poem togehter -- whaling ship and whaling oil (even though they are not near together they seem to have a far apart alliteration. =)

The last lies are a gem:

and thus my glitt'ry eye had died
while burning up the whaling oil



 Comment Written 15-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 15-Aug-2018
    Good evening to you, Husein

    Thank you for reading this, although I must admit that I wrote this in quite a rush this afternoon...

    I'm glad you enjoyed it and pointed out one or two lines and phrases I thought apt, here in my tale of the Whales revenge :)

    Kindest regards

    tracey

Comment by
Ann Marie Anglin
 
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I like the irony of the whaling ship going down because the lighthouse lamp was out of whale oil. I live on the coast of Maine, where every town, even the tiniest, seems to have its own lighthouse. You captured the tone of one of our "nor'easters" very well. I also liked the white words against the black background. It enhanced the "stormy" atmosphere. Thanks for sharing!


 Comment Written 15-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
    Thank you, Ann

    Glad you enjoyed this.

    kind regards

    trimple
Comment by
Adri7enne
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I think you write of a lighthouse unlit on a stormy night as the keeper slept in his lover's arms, and a ship floundered in the nearby sea, taking sailors down to the depths. Of course I might be altogether wrong, but that's what I gathered from reading your poem. I liked the rhymes, and the change of pace in the middle where you went from four lines to three, then back to four again. Different. I liked it!


 Comment Written 15-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
    Thank you, Adri7enne
Comment by
Pantygynt
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I do like the way everything comes together in this poem.

Are you aware that in many of the offshore lighthouses the mechanism that revolved the shutters, to give the unique flashing signal of that lighthouse, was powered by ancient, pre-spring, clockwork with huge weights and chains that had to be wound daily. Knowing this made this poem work all the better for me.


 Comment Written 15-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 15-Aug-2018
    Good evening, JIm

    No I didn't know that :) Did you notice that the reason the light went out was because the wiling oil had burnt out and thus, the whaling ship was sunk?

    This was a kinda revenge tale :)

    Thank you so much for the review and stars.

    kind regards

    tracey

reply by Pantygynt on 15-Aug-2018
    The whale's revenge? Shades of Moby Dick in a way.
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