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Reviews from
The Poetry of Marriage


A Fictional Story

  37 total reviews 
Comment by
Irish Rain
Level 4 Pro
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  60
Review Stars
  Rank:  269
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Thank goodness she's not dead! That broke my heart What a GREAT story!! I very seldom read prose anymore...your title caught my eye...your writing got my vote!! Teeth...6 stars for that alone! Loved this,
Blessings...


 Comment Written 05-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 05-Sep-2018
    Thanks for the six and the vote - made my day!

reply by Irish Rain on 05-Sep-2018
    Great job!
Comment by
Nanny 6
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  80
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Well I have to say... I am thrilled that this is a fictional story! :-) I love the story... It has so much humor and lightheartedness in it and you did an awesome job of writing it, I really enjoyed learning about the shyness have a guy who can't speak very well, but can sure write a good poem. You got my vote on this story
Judy


 Comment Written 03-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 03-Sep-2018
    Thanks so much, Judy, for the six, the kind words, and the vote - much appreciated!
Comment by
2014 Story Writer Of The Year
humpwhistle
Level 9 Pro
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  110
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  3
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  81
 

#3 Ranked Author
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Not only a winner, Mark, but a winner with distinction. Neat the way you parlayed this idea into a 20-syllable win, too. You are not only clever, but frugal, too!
Love the self-deprecating veneer with which you coated a true romantic.
I really admire the scene where your character meets Katie. Even his bone-headed responses are clever in a sneaky way. Sneaky is always a good attribute for a romantic. Never let 'em see you coming.

Now all you need to do is to turn this idea into a script and you'll hit the trifecta!

Really, Mark, this is New Yorker worthy. Say Hi to Roz Chast for me.

Peace, Lee


 Comment Written 03-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 03-Sep-2018
    A six from Lee - now my day has been made! As you suspected, the 20 syllable poem was originally written as the intro for this piece - when I saw the contest I moved the 20 syllable poem there and wrote a new intro. I'd say hi to Roz, but the part about not being able to talk to women, especially New York women, is true.
Comment by
LaRosa
Premier Author
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  267
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
How I love: 'The pristine snow gave the night a numinous quality that transformed a walk across campus into a sacrament.'
And, oh, after the words of beauty that only you could voice, the punch to the stomach of John Lennon's death, hit hard. Within a moment I was thinking about the day I 'heard the news' and smiled that in spite of the ugly, beauty was happening, and a person I 'knew' was experiencing the most importantly wonderful moment of his life.
Strange of me? Yes, but that's what it's all about, life and love, and a future of hope.

'I asked the doctor if there were some operation that could prevent me from reciting Spanish poetry.' Tragedy AND Laughter ...you do it all so well.

While reading this riveting story, we the readers certainly must agree that we are glad you 'found a writing website where (you) could get feedback on things (you) wrote.'


 Comment Written 02-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 02-Sep-2018
    Wow - a six star review, a bookmark, and becoming a fan all on the same day - my ego can't take that much flattery. Thanks so much for all the positive feedback - made my week!

reply by LaRosa on 02-Sep-2018
    You deserved it.
Comment by
RPSaxena
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Review Stars
  Rank:  419
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hello Mark Valentine,
It's a nice piece of Fiction having smooth and captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
Lovely combination of poetry and prose.
From beer to Pizza, and then to Kiss leading Miss to be Mrs. - Interesting Indeed!



 Comment Written 31-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 01-Sep-2018
    Thanks so much for the six and the kind words.

reply by RPSaxena on 10-Sep-2018
    Most Welcome!
    With best wishes,
    ~ RP
Comment by
Ann Marie Anglin
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I'd give this 6 stars if I had any left, Mark. And I'm so happy that Maggie (aka Katie) is still alive and well. I wrote a haiku about death that my husband, ever the psychiatrist, decided was about my anxiety over him dying and leaving me alone (there's a bit of an age difference). It bothered him for weeks. It was not my intention at all, but people often interpret what we write in accordance with their own fears and foibles, I suppose. And being a psychiatrist, he was convinced he was correct and that I was in denial. (I was not. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar). But I digress. The poems interspersed with the prose was great, and in keeping with the poetry to prose theme. Great job! Ann Marie


 Comment Written 31-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 01-Sep-2018
    Thanks, Ann Marie. Maggie has a private psychotherapy practice so I can relate to your challenges in trying to convince your spouse that the cigar is just a cigar.

reply by Ann Marie Anglin on 01-Sep-2018
    Too funny. Isn't it great being psychoanalyzed all the time? Ann Marie
Comment by
Ulla
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  176
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  126
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  1
Review Stars
  Rank:  45
 

#1 Ranked Novelist!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
What a beautiful write. I never wanted it to end. Tears flowed freely down my cheeks. I loved it. Why don't I have a six? I'm amazed about your Spanish poems. I love them. No translation needed. I've lived in Spain for many years,and spoken the language since I was a young girl. I'm totally taken with your story. Where we differ as writers is that I'm an extrovert. Born and bred. I loved your story, and so happy that your wife is there and healthy. All the best. Ulla:))


 Comment Written 31-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 01-Sep-2018
    Thanks you, Ulla - what an uplifting review. I'm particularly pleased that my Spanish passed muster with you - it's been a while since I've used it and it's getting rusty.
Comment by
aryr
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  267
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  61
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  48
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  79
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A very good and entertaining piece of writing. I enjoyed the smattering of poetry, which was a delightful touch. This covered a span of years and while providing profound information it was not drawn out and lengthy. It was just right for what you had to say. I am so glad that Maggie is not dead, I was having a moment when I read about Katie's battle. Very much enjoyed, thanks for sharing.


 Comment Written 31-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 01-Sep-2018
    Thanks so much for taking the time to read this rather lengthy piece. I hoped that the poetry would break up the monotony.

reply by aryr on 01-Sep-2018
    You are most welcome, it did definitely break up the story as well as add to the story.
Comment by
jack silver
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
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  Rank:  94 (+1)
Review Stars
  Rank:  436
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I am so glad I read the endnotes! Glad it wasn't really for you! I lost my wife and unborn baby in the third earthquake. The loss can be very much like your it is described in your last poem. The beginning of your story about being unable to talk to girls reminds me so much of myself when I was in high school. My sweetheart sat done and said... Truth or dare. I said Dare. She said, kiss me. I froze an like a fool. The words which came out of you was... I ike you... What? I was going for... I love you... In response to my dithering and word conundrum, she said, Fine I'll do it then... She grabbed hold of me by my shirt and yanked me in for a kiss... Now thinking about it... I can't remember how long it went for... Still a bit of a blur. Look forward to reading more.


 Comment Written 31-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 01-Sep-2018
    Thanks for this wonderful review, Jack and for sharing the great story of the high school sweetheart - you should write about that! So sorry about the loss of your wife and unborn baby - how devastating that must have been.
Comment by
country ranch writer
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  168
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  23
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  33
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  55
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Falling in love at a young age is wonderful although you feel like you have two left feet. You get through it all you sometimes wonder how you did it. Like keeps on going one way or the other.


 Comment Written 30-Aug-2018



reply by the author on 30-Aug-2018
    Thanks so much for reading this longer-than-usual post and for your comments, Much appreciated.

reply by the author on 30-Aug-2018
    Thanks so much for reading this longer-than-usual post and for your comments, Much appreciated.
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