What I like best about this story, hw, is how immediately engaging it is. No unneeded fluff and frill. You tell what I need to know and tell it so I'm completely caught up with the characters and their stories. Maelene is a wonderful character and feel you have written her as an intriguing and would-like-rot-meet woman. As always with your continuing stories, I can't wait to read what's next.
Beautifully concocted intro to one of your special tales. Hard to tell just where it's going at first, but we soon come to terms with who the good guys are and just who will be the villain of the piece. Great contrast in characters between the two women and, of course, Maelene is a standout.
Your usual slather of outstanding dialogue interspersed with passages of description and commentary like this:
Supper had been a quiet affair. Spoons scraped bowls while Nebraska-blown snow scoured insecure sills searching and scratching for ways in. Jessup ate for three while the women abided in worlds separate and removed from matters as mundane as sustenance.
Looking forward to the following instalments. Actually, I've already read part 2...
Comment Written 09-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2018
Thank you, Steve. I really had fun setting this one up. A trio of Shakespearean characters jammed into a Nebraska blizzard.
I revel in times when I wax poetic. Most of the time, I feel like an ox struggling up hill. Maybe I'm not a real storyteller? Thanks again. Peace, Lee
Did you research the time period to find the colloquialisms? That's what makes this a fun piece. Other phrases are know are Humpisms as I'll call your clever images and expressions:bone-bruising asthmatic iron antique
aged somewhere between old and biblical,
gonna bite like a bear with a bad tooth
constructed sans benefit of level or plumb line.
The situation is a familiar one, but your clever tongue (pun intended) gives unexpected humor to this naïve girl's predicament. Can't wait to read on.
Surely you were enjoying all the word-play; not to mention all the great tit-for-tat 'conversation'. I did.
I don't know the correct definitive word but imagery like: '" gonna bite like a bear with a bad tooth tonight." is awesome!
You make me curious. How does a man come up with gems from a woman's world like: 'The effect reminded Brenda of her own attempts at quilting--lots of angles, none of them meeting without obvious coercion.' ??? Awesome imagery.
What do we gotta do t'get more SIX STARS 'round here?
Oo la la....I'm hooked. I love the way you write dialect your very good at these short stories.0in this line "Let the lass speak for herself.... why don't go out back..." I think your missing "you" or whatever the dialect call for.
Salty as it is, I love this piece. Very well done. Your characters are rich and descriptive, so much so, I can see them come alive as I read. Poor Brenda, my heart aches for her. She reminds me of Fantine in Les Miserables. I look forward to the continuing saga.
Kindest regards to you and your family,
I was going to read Part 2 when I saw your redirection to part 1. Thank you for that, I wish more authors would do that. The story started a little slow but the plot started to pick up towards the end of the chapter making me curious about what's to come.
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Comment Written 04-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2018
Thank you, Earl. I can understand your disappointment over the lack of action--even though I didn't promise any. I'm glad you thought it picked up at the end. Thanks again. Peace, Lee