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Reviews from
The Second Coming...Entry Denied


150 words

  32 total reviews 
Comment by
Pickles McGuire
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Interesting premise! might be the basis for a good novel or script. So many opportunities for story lines. I felt like your very first sentence was a bit run on, but didn't take away from the piece at all.


 Comment Written 30-Mar-2020


Comment by
eva garcia-mayers
Premier Author
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
this is amazingly touching and so appropriate for today's political and sociological reality. We are so many times confronted with scenarios where our often espoused values would take hold, but we blind ourselves by media and political distortions and throw those opportunities down the drain.
I really feel the small details of the worker being tired, sluggish and sloppy hits on the reality that we are also bogged down by capitalism's ceaseless pull on our faculties, also hindering us from thinking of anything beyond basic rest.
ty for sharing!


 Comment Written 24-Dec-2019


Comment by
Donald O. Cassidy
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
A writer savvy about prophetic insight, and at once knowledgeable secular politics offers a story like this.

"Entry Denied" would clash with the Prosperity Gospel immediately.
Jesus would deny entry to religious like the White House.

Don


 Comment Written 17-Sep-2019


Comment by
Ma-Jali Mbali
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Excellent
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I love this story! It is highly believable and very current. It's also well-written and you've managed to create a realistic character in the immigration officer, in very few words. I feel like I can see him clearly.

My one comment for improvement would be that Arabs don't wear turbans, they wear scarves, it is Sikhs who wear turbans but Sikhs come from India. If you'd specified that it was the opinion of the ignorant/biased immigration official then it would be fine but you haven't so it seems as though this is what you, as a writer, think, which comes across as a lack of research.

Overall though, I love the humour and irony in the story and the small detail above, doesn't take away from it being a job well done and a story which I enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing :-)


 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    What is very heartening, is that you do have this knowledge, and actually know the religious association with different headgear. so many see skin color and jump to many conclusions--usually ill-informed.

    Thanks for the review.
Comment by
Honey Bee Jean
 
 
Excellent
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Well done! This peice absolutely deserves the recognition. The Second Coming...Entry Denied is a phenomenal title. Best of luck to you in all of your endeavors and happy writing! Be well!


 Comment Written 22-Oct-2018



reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
    You are so gracious``````````. Thank you/
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  45
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  15
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  36
Script Rating
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  10
 

#3 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This was a great use of the flash fiction challenge. I see that you have won that challenge; congratulations. The idea that Jesus is on the restricted list is quite meaningful and sadly true.


 Comment Written 23-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2018
    Yes, it is. Thanks for reading.
Comment by
B. A.Montpelier
 
 
Excellent
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A simple story with an enormous profound final statement from Jesus. In today's world it looks as though He is being removed from all that matters. Awesome read.


 Comment Written 21-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 21-Sep-2018
    Even people who profess to be believers, have forgotten His teachings in the way they conduct their lives. Thanks for reading.
Comment by
barkingdog
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2013 #2 Ranked Novelist
 
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  Rank:  752
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is amazing. What if ... ?
And yes his eyes may not be blue.
This is a wonderful concept using today's travel restrictions. Imagine turning anyone away who could be an asset to our country let alone Jesus.

You win is well deserved. Excellent writing.


 Comment Written 20-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 20-Sep-2018
    Thank you very much for the high accolades and stars. Yes, imagine what may be turned away bbecause prehudice against a religion or racial difference blinds and turns into such fear and hatred. Thanks again.
Comment by
mrsmajor
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Interesting piece, Congratulations on the win...The God I serve has never been seen, so whether he had blue eyes, brown eyes, isn't of importance to me...the same applies to His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, after He rose from the tomb..l do appreciate the way you described the man, for me he appeared a man without knowledge, and one that saw Christ only through his eyes..

I know from the forum your thoughts on the subject of religion, and so I do understand the true meaning of your piece.
Personally I see Christ only through His teaching...

Thanks for sharing this with us, and again Congratulations on the win...

Regards,
Victoria



 Comment Written 19-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018

























    Many zealots have a skewed idea of what Christ's message means. There is a myth still alive that all babies are born with blue eyes in the likeness of Jesus. My point was not ti mess with religion, but to point out that prejudice might blind people, turn down Christ himself.

    I know you believe you know how I feel about religion, but I';m not sure you do. I don't believe religion and politics nix. Those with radical ideas about the Bible always find a verse to make their point, but veer off the subject entirely.. What they are really saying is that I'm right because am right and you're wrong.

    I am very much a Christian and fully respect all faiths, but I choose not to discuss my beliefs-especially in political matters..

    Thanks for reading and the review.



    many Evangelists

reply by mrsmajor on 19-Sep-2018
    I do agree with you so much, that's why I often ask those so interested in discussing religion to go to the proper site...for me Religion and Politics just don't match...
Comment by
dragonpoet
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  99
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Review Stars
  Rank:  69
 
Excellent
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It's sad if Jesus is on the watch list. It seems a lot of people have forgotten what He taught about how to live. I like the veiled mention of President Trump and your feeling about his election.

Congrats on the win.

Keep writing

dragonpoet


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018
    There are people who believe Trump was hand picked by God/ I don't agree. Thanks for reading.

reply by dragonpoet on 19-Sep-2018
    I am right there with you. You're welcome.

    dragonpoet
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