Vengeance of the Devil
Some Deals you shouldn't make
Pays: 8 points.
32 member cents
Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

20 Word Poem
Deadline: Today!

Rhyming Poem
Deadline: In 6 Days

Loop Poetry Contest
Deadline: Oct 25th

My Faith
Deadline: Oct 30th

Halloween Flash Fiction
Deadline: Oct 31st


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
The Second Coming...Entry Denied


150 words

  33 total reviews 
Comment by
Aaron Milavec
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  207
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  188
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  72
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Indeed this is a timely topic treated with insightly candor.

This got me to roaring in laughter:

"Right. We already have someone in the White House who said the same thing. Entry denied!"

Peace,
Aaron


 Comment Written 25-Aug-2020


Comment by
Pickles McGuire
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Interesting premise! might be the basis for a good novel or script. So many opportunities for story lines. I felt like your very first sentence was a bit run on, but didn't take away from the piece at all.


 Comment Written 30-Mar-2020


Comment by
eva garcia-mayers
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
this is amazingly touching and so appropriate for today's political and sociological reality. We are so many times confronted with scenarios where our often espoused values would take hold, but we blind ourselves by media and political distortions and throw those opportunities down the drain.
I really feel the small details of the worker being tired, sluggish and sloppy hits on the reality that we are also bogged down by capitalism's ceaseless pull on our faculties, also hindering us from thinking of anything beyond basic rest.
ty for sharing!


 Comment Written 24-Dec-2019


Comment by
Donald O. Cassidy
Ranked Author
Stumbly Up One
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
A writer savvy about prophetic insight, and at once knowledgeable secular politics offers a story like this.

"Entry Denied" would clash with the Prosperity Gospel immediately.
Jesus would deny entry to religious like the White House.

Don


 Comment Written 17-Sep-2019


Comment by
Ma-Jali Mbali
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I love this story! It is highly believable and very current. It's also well-written and you've managed to create a realistic character in the immigration officer, in very few words. I feel like I can see him clearly.

My one comment for improvement would be that Arabs don't wear turbans, they wear scarves, it is Sikhs who wear turbans but Sikhs come from India. If you'd specified that it was the opinion of the ignorant/biased immigration official then it would be fine but you haven't so it seems as though this is what you, as a writer, think, which comes across as a lack of research.

Overall though, I love the humour and irony in the story and the small detail above, doesn't take away from it being a job well done and a story which I enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing :-)


 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019



reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    What is very heartening, is that you do have this knowledge, and actually know the religious association with different headgear. so many see skin color and jump to many conclusions--usually ill-informed.

    Thanks for the review.
Comment by
Honey Bee Jean
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Well done! This peice absolutely deserves the recognition. The Second Coming...Entry Denied is a phenomenal title. Best of luck to you in all of your endeavors and happy writing! Be well!


 Comment Written 22-Oct-2018



reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
    You are so gracious``````````. Thank you/
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  30
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  11
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  11
Script Rating
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  8
 

#3 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This was a great use of the flash fiction challenge. I see that you have won that challenge; congratulations. The idea that Jesus is on the restricted list is quite meaningful and sadly true.


 Comment Written 23-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2018
    Yes, it is. Thanks for reading.
Comment by
B. A.Montpelier
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A simple story with an enormous profound final statement from Jesus. In today's world it looks as though He is being removed from all that matters. Awesome read.


 Comment Written 21-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 21-Sep-2018
    Even people who profess to be believers, have forgotten His teachings in the way they conduct their lives. Thanks for reading.
Comment by
barkingdog
Premier Author
2013 #2 Ranked Novelist
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  740
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is amazing. What if ... ?
And yes his eyes may not be blue.
This is a wonderful concept using today's travel restrictions. Imagine turning anyone away who could be an asset to our country let alone Jesus.

You win is well deserved. Excellent writing.


 Comment Written 20-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 20-Sep-2018
    Thank you very much for the high accolades and stars. Yes, imagine what may be turned away bbecause prehudice against a religion or racial difference blinds and turns into such fear and hatred. Thanks again.
Comment by
mrsmajor
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  294
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  287
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


Interesting piece, Congratulations on the win...The God I serve has never been seen, so whether he had blue eyes, brown eyes, isn't of importance to me...the same applies to His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, after He rose from the tomb..l do appreciate the way you described the man, for me he appeared a man without knowledge, and one that saw Christ only through his eyes..

I know from the forum your thoughts on the subject of religion, and so I do understand the true meaning of your piece.
Personally I see Christ only through His teaching...

Thanks for sharing this with us, and again Congratulations on the win...

Regards,
Victoria



 Comment Written 19-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2018

























    Many zealots have a skewed idea of what Christ's message means. There is a myth still alive that all babies are born with blue eyes in the likeness of Jesus. My point was not ti mess with religion, but to point out that prejudice might blind people, turn down Christ himself.

    I know you believe you know how I feel about religion, but I';m not sure you do. I don't believe religion and politics nix. Those with radical ideas about the Bible always find a verse to make their point, but veer off the subject entirely.. What they are really saying is that I'm right because am right and you're wrong.

    I am very much a Christian and fully respect all faiths, but I choose not to discuss my beliefs-especially in political matters..

    Thanks for reading and the review.



    many Evangelists

reply by mrsmajor on 19-Sep-2018
    I do agree with you so much, that's why I often ask those so interested in discussing religion to go to the proper site...for me Religion and Politics just don't match...
  -1-  2 3 4  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Slicker Than an Oil Stain
Not everything always goes to plan


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy