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Reviews from
Lies at the Funeral


a sick man comes to terms with the failure of his life

  17 total reviews 
Comment by
Ricky1024
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  133
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  267
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  18
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  51
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
"Lies at the Funeral" was well written and exceptional.
It read Well and Flowed well with no grammar issues as well.
Adjective Content and Objective Content were both excellent and exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Doctor Ricky 1024


 Comment Written 20-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 20-Sep-2018
    Thank you very much. It is rare to get an academic evaluation like this. I truly appreciate it.
Comment by
Oceanna Sands
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Very raw but very truthful. I find that I too have an cynical or realistic outlook on life and humanity, while I go about life as if everything was rosy. You have an amazing way of communicating. I may not always like what you have to say, but I definitely want to read it.

Oceanna


 Comment Written 18-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 18-Sep-2018
    Thank you very much. I hope you DON'T like everything I have to say. If you were to continue reading and you did, I will have failed in my intentions. Thank you again.
Comment by
sandramitchell
Level 1 Pro
Sandra S-Mitchell
WEST END
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  105
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  4
Review Stars
  Rank:  76
 

#4 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Your story did make a whole lot of sense, which is strange in itself. History has repeated itself too many times to discount it. The only difference, we get a lot more technical at it. I enjoyed your entry to this contest, you used the sentence well. Good luck! :) Sandra xx


 Comment Written 18-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 18-Sep-2018
    Thank you once again.
Comment by
Earl Corp
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  106
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  22
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  28
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  143
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wow! That was a totally different take on Time travel isn't supposed to be possible than I wrote. Yours was much more creative and thought out than mine. I also stuck to a 500 word limit for some reason. I agree with your last statement about telling lies at funerals. When my dad died I had exactly the same thought, "He was kind of an asshole." This wasn't the popular opinion so I kept it to myself. Nice job! Good luck in the contest.


 Comment Written 17-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
    Thank you for your kindness and don't trash yourself. It is always okay to think your piece is better than everyone else's. Hell, I do--thank you again.
Comment by
Marvin Calloway
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is an interesting take on time travel. This held my interest mainly because I wasn't sure where you were taking me and I didn't want to miss anything.
It seems your wife could help you if she was interested.
Marv


 Comment Written 16-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 17-Sep-2018
    Thank you for your comments. And I am almost sorry to say that this is not actually a true story. I mean, sure, my wife and I probably do hate one another after all these years, but that's more the organic nature of time. We still tolerate one another, mostly.
Comment by
meeshu
Premier Author
1st post 03/24/18
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  24
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  144
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
an interesting work of self-examination and social commentary. It still rings true with individuals that past behavior is predictor of future behavior. but I don't believe history has to repeat. good write Lance...................meeshu


 Comment Written 16-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 16-Sep-2018
    Thanks again. You are a very consistent reviewer of my work. I'll try to be better by you--
Comment by
2018 Novelist of the Year.
2017 Short Works and 2017 Script Writer of the Year.
Thomas Bowling
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  134
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  19
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  10
Script Rating
  Rank:  7
Review Stars
  Rank:  40
 

#10 Ranked Novelist

#7 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I really like your story. They say don't speak ill of the dead so often we go the other way. I knew a woman who lost her son to a night of mayhem. She talked about him as if he were a saint, Everyone knew he was a thug.


 Comment Written 16-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 16-Sep-2018
    Thank you for your comments.
Comment by
kathleenspalding
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Very cool - I love it! It captures that madman voice very well. Extremely well written, only one suggestion -

The world has been [[barbarism - barbaric or ...has existed in a state of barbarism]] since the dawn of time.


 Comment Written 16-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 16-Sep-2018
    Thank you for your kindness. I'll check the editing again.

reply by kathleenspalding on 16-Sep-2018
    You're welcome
Comment by
Nanny 6
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  82 (+1)
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I love this crazy story! The guy's on a merry go round, and can't get off. The biggest impact of the story is the last part...about lying at the funeral of his dad, and the reason you lie is to misremember the past. How true that is, when someone dies, the only thing people talk about is how wonderful the person was, even tho they were horrible human beings. I wish you well in the contest.
Judy


 Comment Written 16-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 16-Sep-2018
    Thank you for your kindness.
Comment by
Mastery
Published Author
Semper Fi
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  90
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Bravo, Lance. As I said, I like your style. This is well written and thought through. I remember winning this contest back when I first came aboard Fanstory in 2004. It was called "Fire and Ice" I was so fucking proud. (it's still in my portfolio if you want o check it out)

Meanwhile, this story is a different slant on most of the entries I will say right off the bat and it is entertaining to say the least.

I think you hav trhe winner here, if I am any judge.

Now, if I can just get you to reciprocate as a fan and start reviewing my work, I will be a happy camper. Bob


 Comment Written 16-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 16-Sep-2018
    Thank you so much for your high regard. Next time I am on here (football games with my son), I will make it a point to review your work.

reply by Mastery on 16-Sep-2018
    I have a chapter posted but it is only good for four days as you may or may not know paying a buck, Thanks, Lance. don't forget to fan me. :) Bob
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