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Reviews from
Silence.


Free verse.

  48 total reviews 
Comment by
tempeste
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  Rank:  84
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Excellent read...I like the double meaning in this poem.

The first half draws a lovely picture of moments we all sooner or later get to experience and are overwhlemed by , they are moments best flaoured in silence and ( as far as I am concern ) in solitudine.

When I go walking in the woods what I love most is the silence and being alone and in close contact with nature..the scent of the woods is revitalising ..finally I can hear my voice and thoughts in my head .

The second part instead describes another kind of silence ..a silence we are not proud of , a silence we all are guilty of ...when we see someone being treated wrongly we remain in silence ..we don't want trouble or to be involved so we pretend to not see and are silent. We choose to be silent when confronted with the misdoings we see on our streets and in general.

Interpreting poems is tricky cause some have more than one possible interpretation..reading your poem this is the overall idea I came away with.



 Comment Written 12-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 13-Nov-2018
    MY God! This was exactly what I had in mind and I am very glad and touched that you got the entire aspects of my poem ,the way I intended.(my perspective) And that you took the trouble of writing such a long review instead of the standard one line and five star.
    And that too when it was not paying much. You are one of the rare reviewers who read REALLY , because you love reading " not just to earn the member dollars.
    Thank you very much.

reply by tempeste on 13-Nov-2018
    I took a look at your portfolio because you recently reviewed a piece of mine..it's my way to say thank you .

    I scroll down until a picture or a title interests me and then I try my best to describe my feelings on the piece of work I have chosen.

    Thank you very much for nominating me ..I appreciate it .. it was a pleasure reading you lovely poem.
Comment by
rama devi
May All Beings Be Happy
 
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So sorry to hear of the relationship turning sour. It makes for expressive poetry, though! This is great.

The opening of this is eloquent and lovely, dear Sanku, which gives great poetic contrast with the shift to negative emotional pitch.

Nice personification here (note spag suggestions too):


I loved her when she reigned with her friend(,) Solitude(,)
Grateful for the right perspective(--)
The wisdom and the muse.


Potent pivot line:

Then I glimpsed her other face,
A face of ruin.

* Stumbled on this line a bit:
She is sin when words should be raised

Suggest:

She is sinful when words should be raised.


OUTSTANDING LINE with alliteration of T and a fine metaphor too:

She tears the tenuous threads of relations.


* Also outstanding imagery and medley of L and S sounds here:

She is empty but looms large.
Like a shadow on a lonely side street.

However, it reads as one sentence not two. S:

She is empty but looms large,
Like a shadow on a lonely side street.

*spag:
With her, hearts speak to each other,(no ,)
Without words.

*
Silence, she is double(-)faced.

The closing line is phenomenal because it can be read on more than one level. As your friend's silence...or as silence itself...can be positive or negative depending on circumstance and attitude.

Great job. Expressive and poignant.


Namaskaram, plus healing thoughts and loving prayers,
rd


 Comment Written 05-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
    Namaskaram, thank you very much for the dtaied review you have written .I have made changes accepting your suggestions.
    It amazes me that you have the patience to write such helpful reviews
    Thanks once again.

reply by rama devi on 05-Nov-2018
    Namaskaram thank you very much for your gracious response!!
Comment by
2018 Poet of the Year
Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
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  Rank:  15
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  Rank:  30
 
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A terrific free verse, Sanku, one of my favourite forms and you've done it justice with the opening of large sweeps of city scapes as juxtaposed the lonely mountains and running streams.

You've used literary devices of metaphors and soft consonance.

Overall a great piece and I wish you much luck with the Contest Committee. :)

Gloria


 Comment Written 05-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
    Thank you very much.
Comment by
Cindy McIntyre
 
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What a very powerful piece. Your topic is a heart-wrenching one to live through and your words describe the raw painful emotions so well. Writing it in free verse fits the poem. I am sorry you had to suffer through this situation.


 Comment Written 04-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
    Thank you very much.
Comment by
country ranch writer
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  Rank:  142
 
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Nice work up for the poem it is sad when friends take advantage of you and when the chips are down show they are two faced and let you down and won't speak up on your behalf. Betrayed at its worst.


 Comment Written 04-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
    Thank you very much.True They just keep quiet innocently when they could have cleared the air.

reply by country ranch writer on 05-Nov-2018
    Smiles
Comment by
Sharon Haiste
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I think this is a good entry for the Free Verse writing prompt.
Your story is well told, and rather sad I think.
Well done and good luck to you with the competition.
Sharon


 Comment Written 04-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
    Thank you very much.
Comment by
karenina
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Anthropomorphism is a powerful poetic tool. Personifying "silence" works so well in your epiphany of free verse. The "double faced" analogy speaks volumes...
Silence can be warming and calming--or searing as a hot blade slicing through out hearts. You captured this with great skill.

Karenina


 Comment Written 04-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
    Thank you very much.
Comment by
Lady Jane
 
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What an amazing write, Sanku. The metaphorical tension of this write is fluid and so very well written. The juxtaposition of the silence is golden and silence is deafening surely comes through within this well written piece. I love the imagery you used to springboard your theorem! Nothing not to like here. I've used that image before also..it is perfect for this piece. I also like how you personified Silence! What a powerful write. Well done, dear. Well done!
Janelle


 Comment Written 04-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
    Thank you very much.
Comment by
2018 Novelist of the Year.
2017 Short Works and 2017 Script Writer of the Year.
Thomas Bowling
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This is beautiful. It is extremely well-written and an excellent contest submission. Contests on FanStory are very difficult to win, but this could do it. Good luck.


 Comment Written 04-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
    Thank you very much .especially for thinking this could be a winner.
Comment by
Kismetswriter
 
 
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I love the picture you use than the words but they are strong and thought provoking. It's just that the picture was mesmerizing and I couldn't stop scrolling up to look at it.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 04-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
    Thank you very much.
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