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Reviews from
California...Schorched Earth


My Beloved Town

  51 total reviews 
Comment by
Jmf4119
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  Rank:  37
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  Rank:  108
 
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We have friends that we have visited many times in the Malibu area. They were evacuated and have finally been allowed to return home but so many of their friends were not as fortunate.

A timely poem in the tanka form.

Well done.

Blessings
Janrt


 Comment Written 19-Nov-2018


Comment by
Shanbreen
 
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This is super sad. The Tanka form aside, this is such a heartbreaking story for someone who has lived in Chico for three years of his life. Your last line is so arresting: "Black soot fills my heavy heart." Yes, even from miles away, I can't help but grieve for the tragedy.



 Comment Written 19-Nov-2018


Comment by
William Ross
 
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Nicely done on the tanka about the California fires totally devastating. so sad, here we have all these people that lost so much. Good luck and have a wonderful day


 Comment Written 19-Nov-2018


Comment by
BeasPeas
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This is an excellent tanka, Diana, with pivot line connecting the two first and two last lines well. Having gone through an evacuation of our town myself I can empathize with what Californians are going through. A typo in line two:
schorching = scorching


 Comment Written 19-Nov-2018


Comment by
Sugarray77
Melissa
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  Rank:  13
 

#6 Ranked Poet
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Artasylum, I am so grieved with you about the horrific fires raging and destroying homes and land in California. Your verse focuses the spotlight on this in a really good way. Well done.

Melissa


 Comment Written 19-Nov-2018


Comment by
miajaffri
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It is terrifying to experience this and know so many are now homeless. You have good description with raging, scorching, stark waking, red skies and black soot.
I do see a misspelling with scorched. I hope you aren't in the middle of all this.
I'm in Southern California.


 Comment Written 19-Nov-2018


Comment by
RodG
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If I were a resident of any of these devastated cities in California, I would be afraid to see what the latest devastation looked like. Indeed any vista would be a "stark waking nightmare" and I'd never forget the red skies at night. Excellent closing line to this tanks.


 Comment Written 19-Nov-2018


Comment by
nassus1957
 
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California is burning and the fire has claimed so many lives and properties. We do wonder why the California fire becomes that deadly. Perhaps now is the time for the Californians to think hard and bring back God into the mainstream. Let us pray for those who were victims of the fire.


 Comment Written 19-Nov-2018


Comment by
J. Dennis
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Hello to Artasylum.
This is a current event in California that breaks our hearts across the country. I have never seen such destruction by fire as this happening now. We had Hurricane Harvey and that was bad. I think that this fire is worse.
Your description uses powerful words: raging, nightmare, terrify and heavy heart. They are all true.
The picture is one that shows that the fire is massive. I feel for the responders who are working so hard. God bless them all.
Very good job here.
Let the rains come Wednesday as predicted and stop the fires.
Have a nice day.


 Comment Written 18-Nov-2018


Comment by
LIJ Red
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The terrifying fires in California chill the blood of any thinking adult...seventy plus dead at last count...I don't know much about tankas, but the spirit in your poem is clear...excellent


 Comment Written 18-Nov-2018


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