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Reviews from
Thursday's Child - part I


...has far to go...

  30 total reviews 
Comment by
Pearl Edwards
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  Rank:  80
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  Rank:  94
 
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You have successfully and interestingly filled in this chapter about Sophia's boring and monotonous day, holding this reader's interest, and wondering, just where is G taking this one to.
Luckily, as I'm so far behind my reviewing I'm going to find out soon.
cheers,
valda


 Comment Written 13-Dec-2018


Comment by
2007 & 2008 Short Work Writer Of The Year
Janilou
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Jan Anderegg
Author of Julu
 
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  Rank:  19
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  Rank:  185
 
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I had to come back and find this part of your very interesting story. Excellent writing as always. Now I have to go re-read part two so I can tie them together in my mind.
I posted the next chapter of Jirvania the other day btw. Always love to receive your feedback!
Jan


 Comment Written 01-Dec-2018



reply by the author on 02-Dec-2018
    Yep, I'd seen you'd posted and got to it earlier this evening. lol
Comment by
2012 Script Writer Of The Year
Spitfire
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  Rank:  153
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
The morning passed in glorious monotony.

This oxymoron goes a long way to explain the main character. She's an introvert, quiet, plain, and accepts herself. Her sister is the opposite.
She's repulsed by the man with tatoos, etc. but does at least thank him for his help. So she has one thing going for her. But she's not going to be open-minded to believing what a psychic says.
Terrific example of the right way to bring a fictional character to life.


 Comment Written 25-Nov-2018


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Sarkems
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You've done it again, haven't you? Here, you appear to be breaking all the rules - mundane minutiae, listing the food eaten, dwelling on the journey - But you are actually, rather gloriously showing us a character. An unhappy character, perhaps, a not confident character, a character with a life she is less-than happy with. And a strange man, seemingly innocuous, but making a couple of appearances which point to a figure of interest.


The sister - hmmm. Physic? Mis-texting of 'Psychic' maybe? There's plenty here to keep me reading on.

Little note:
She pushed the hair plastered to her forehead backwards, wiped her face and set up the stairs to the fourth floor, - did you mean, 'set OFF up the stairs?


Anyway, looking forward to the continuation.


 Comment Written 25-Nov-2018


Comment by
BeasPeas
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  Rank:  20
 
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This is a well written, minute-by-minute account of Sophia's day. It starts off badly. We don't know if this is because of her own temperament in dealing with life or if circumstances themselves dampen her spirits. Very well described throughout. Reader looks forward to how the young man fits into the picture. Marilyn


 Comment Written 24-Nov-2018


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country ranch writer
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Well my goodness she sure has had a day of days seems here in America we'ed considerate it a hellave day.wishing you would have stayed home in bed.


 Comment Written 24-Nov-2018


Comment by
rtobaygo
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Good afternoon, Gareth

Enjoyed the post. Virtual six. You took an ordinarily dull day in Sophia's life and turned it to the reader's anticipation something extraordinary will happen to her in the near future. Loved your attention to detail and the lesson one should never judge a book by its cover -- she tried to sit as far from the man with tattoos only to thank him for his kindness. Great hook at the end. Well done.

Take care and stay safe,

Ray

Take care and stay safe,

Ray


 Comment Written 24-Nov-2018


Comment by
Marvin Calloway
 
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Funny title.
I enjoyed this "Day in the life of someone having a bad day." story.
I pointed out some things that may or may not help, that you may or may not
agree with and I may or may not know what I'm talking about.

. . . turning his attention back . . . The other way seems redundant.
. . . as the train barreled along . . .One 'l' (This could be a country custom.)
Last stop, London Victoria . . . add coma
as usual, as the passengers . . . Too many 'as'.
I liked 'spewing the commuters.' (And everything else.)
Marv


 Comment Written 24-Nov-2018


Comment by
estory
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north carolina
 
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  Rank:  114
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  Rank:  76
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  Rank:  79
 
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Strong, vivid, life like descriptions of the surroundings put us right into the scene here, struggling along in a commuter's day with Sophia. The monotony of the commute, the monotony of the office day, the indifference of almost everyone around her leave in the isolation typical of the individual in big cities. Except for the mysterious man with the tattoo who helps here through the turnstile. You can't judge a book by it's cover. This is starting well, good sense of mystery, we identify immediately with the heroine, so we will look forward to what happens next.


 Comment Written 24-Nov-2018


Comment by
Maria Jose Garcia
 
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As usual, I love the abundance of details that makes it easy for me to imagine what's going on.

I enjoyed the irony in:another perfect start to another perfect day in Sophia's perfect life...

Great story. Looking forward to more.


 Comment Written 24-Nov-2018


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