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Reviews from
Lost on Planet Z


Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Storm"

This is a sci-fi book especially for girls.

  16 total reviews 
Comment by
J W Warner
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I really liked this, especially since I have a similar challenge: how to share Chapters of a fantasy story without taking up a lot of space with exposition and explanation (I would welcome your feedback on my post)
Very imaginative, great world building without "going off into the weeds" and getting caught up in describing your world.
I was surprised by the footnotes about learning more. Is that specific to your posting here or would that be found in the novel itself?


 Comment Written 30-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 01-Dec-2018
    Hi - Thanks for stopping by to read this longer post. I'm playing with sci-fi for the first time. I like sci-fi but I find that it doesn't really talk about science much and this is geared to school-age children in hopes to peak some interest in science. So I intend to include a science factoid with every post. I'll look for your post now. Blessings.
Comment by
Joan E.
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It was fascinating to think about time being translated differently on another planet. I liked the fruity greetings and the "geodesic" shelter. Your keeping us in suspense about the "cardinal sin" is quite effective. I relish your blend of science and fantasy. Cheers- Joan


 Comment Written 30-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 01-Dec-2018
    Thank you so much for following my eccentric foray into sci-fi, Joan. Very much appreciated! Hugs!
Comment by
CD Richards
 
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Hi Helen,

Once again, a well-written and most enjoyable addition to your story. I don't really have a good reason, but I found this little snippet a bit odd. It might be the abruptness of the last short sentence:

I had to warn the Bohdee and as I tried to run, pain grabbed my ankle. I woke up.

I don't think it's "wrong", but I feel like suggesting the following alternative:

I had to warn the Bohdee, but as I tried to run, pain grabbed my ankle, and then... I woke up.

Feel free to ignore the suggestion. It was just my gut feeling.

Anyway, excellent work, and I didn't spot any errors.

Cheers,
Craig


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
    Oh, I like your edit, Craig. I did want to abrupt reality of waking from the dream to come through but yours is smoother. Thank you for your thoughtful review! Blessings!
Comment by
BeasPeas
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Hi Helen. This is such a charming and heartwarming chapter to your story. I loved how the beings formed themselves into a protective geodesic dome to protect Henrietta. The touching of the hand to lips as if to blow a kiss in thanks was a tender moment. An enjoyable read. Marilyn


 Comment Written 28-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
    Thanks so much, Marilyn! Appreciate your noting which parts you liked. Hugs!!
Comment by
krys123
ALEXIS KRYSYNA
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Cheers, Helen;
> I really enjoyed reading this and the boh dee and Mah Mee and how they protected you from the oncoming storm.
> I found it interesting that none of the furniture was created by cutting down the trees or any of the leave were only used from those which have fallen from the trees.
> I really enjoy your out-of-the-box imagination and your ingenious creativity which made this a very enjoyable read and thank you very much, Helen, take care and have a good one.
Alx


 Comment Written 28-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
    Thank you so much, Alx! I'm not used to writing such long posts so I am especially grateful to you for reading and reviewing these. Also, am humbled by your generous six stars! Blessings on you and yours!

reply by krys123 on 30-Nov-2018
    You're gratefully welcome, Helen.
    Alx
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
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A wonderful addition to your story, ma'am -- love the little 'Bohdee body build'! :) :) Interesting how Ash's plant 'knows' her. :) ;) Thanx for sharing -- looking forward to the next! :) ;) Yvette :) Be sure to pop back in there and put another 'l' in satellite. :) ;) Take care! :)


 Comment Written 28-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
    Thanks so much, Yvette! I'm blessed that you liked it! Thanks for catching the spelling error. Bless you!!
Comment by
damommy
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What a wonderful chapter. How kind these little creatures are to build a dome around Swan for her protection. I hope this planet is never discovered by anyone else, because history shows how we change things for the worse when we settle in.


 Comment Written 28-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
    You're so perceptive, Yvonne! That is one of the themes I was going to address in the book. Thanks for the great review! Hugs!!

reply by damommy on 28-Nov-2018
    You know what they say about great minds. lol
Comment by
royowen
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I'm liking this very creative work Helen. Your imagination is quite amazing,and it's garden is very fertile. It's always Interesting to see how creative the human mind can be. I know we are all how God created us in the soil of His imagination, well done, great writing, blessings, Roy
Typo : But they didn't pull the (leaf) off the trees.


 Comment Written 28-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
    Thank you so very much, Roy! Like you, I find my inspiration in the Word. God is the Most Creative! Thank you for catching that missing word. Blessings!!

reply by royowen on 28-Nov-2018
    Well done
Comment by
Sasha
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I am enjoying this immensely. You have a marvelous imagination and a terrific ability to put it into words. I am anxious to learn what the cardinal sin for a Bohdee is. I look forward for the next chapter. This is such fun to read.


 Comment Written 28-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
    Thank you so much, Sasha! You're such an encourgement! Thanks for imagining with me. Hugs!!
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
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A very well-written story and exploring the new home and discovering new things as well as a hurricane that the locals seem to fear when they see the storm approaching.


 Comment Written 28-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
    Thank you, Sandra! Appreciate you reading my longer works, too. Hugs!
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