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This Sentence Starts The Story
Deadline: In 4 Days

Faith Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jul 22nd

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Deadline: Jul 24th

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Reviews from
Life's Roadmap


Some maps tell more than others.

  16 total reviews 
Comment by
Pamusart
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Hugh. I want you to have time to replace this. It is a great 5-7-5 which I love, but it is not a Haiku. A haiku is about nature and must reference a kigo. Kigo infers one of the four seasons. Snow would be a kigo for winter as heat is for summer. This is a nice Senyru. It is about people. Thank you for sharing


 Comment Written 02-Dec-2018



reply by the author on 02-Dec-2018
    Pam, thanks for your concern. I think you are probably correct but I'm not real concerned about the contest. I often use a contest to motivate me to write. If I can get people to review and comment I find that it helps me write better. I've learned so much from people like you who genuinely helpful as well as very good writers. Your comments and those of others on the haiku/senyru subject are making me do more research on the forms. Prior to being on FS I have written almost no poetry. So I really appreciate your input and concern and hope you will continue to point out when I mess up. Always appreciate it. Warmly, Hugh

reply by Pamusart on 03-Dec-2018
    Smile
Comment by
BeasPeas
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  22
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  54
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Another well written short piece. It's difficult to write the short ones, I think, and for them to be meaningful, but of the few of yours I've read you've done an excellent job. Marilyn


 Comment Written 02-Dec-2018



reply by the author on 02-Dec-2018
    Thanks Marilyn. Always appreciate your reviews and comments. Yes, the short ones are challenging, I try to make each word count. Until I joined this site, wrote very little poetry. Great people here that offer suggestions and support. Hugh
Comment by
Joan E.
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  40
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  20
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
The artwork you selected displays the perfect "roadmap" on the face of the elderly woman. I relished your description of a "life well lived" in the satori line. Best wishes in the haiku contest and happy holidays- Joan


 Comment Written 02-Dec-2018



reply by the author on 02-Dec-2018
    Joan, thanks so much for the review and comments. Always a pleasure to hear from you. Enjoy the holidays and keep on writing! Hugh
Comment by
Sugarray77
Melissa
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  20
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  105
 
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Excellent job on crafting this Haiku poetry prompt. I like your meaning and think you did a good job with presentation and form. Good luck and good read.

All the best,

Melissa


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
    Thanks for the review and comments. Glad you like it. Hope you find some good cheer with the holidays! Hugh
Comment by
country ranch writer
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  240
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  112
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Review Stars
  Rank:  120
 
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Nice work up for your poem and old folks are dear and near to my heart. My Grandpa was a fine gentleman who loved life and everyone in it. He is missed by all who knew him each and every day.


 Comment Written 28-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
    Thank you for the review and comments. And even though we miss those who pass, hopefully we keep them alive with great memories. Thanks for sharing. Hugh

reply by country ranch writer on 29-Nov-2018
    smiles
Comment by
Liz O'Neill
Premier Author
 
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  Rank:  46
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  Rank:  125
 
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What a beautiful tribute to older people that you have written. It is a lovely use of Haiku style poetry. I have a friend who is 100 years old and still going strong. She smiles a lot. I do think that is part of the secret these older people hold. They have worked on processing those difficult times which marked their worn faces, smile and move beyond. Thank you


 Comment Written 28-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
    Liz, thanks for the review and wonderful comments. Give your friend a little hug from me. She sounds like a treasure. Hugh
Comment by
lyenochka
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  4
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  4
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  2
Script Rating
  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  Rank:  3
 

#4 Ranked Author

#2 Ranked Novelist

#4 Ranked Poet

#2 Ranked Script Writer

#3 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
What an uplifting view of wrinkles. Yes, we should remember those didn't come through easy living but living well. I like your second line very much! Great job with the haiku.


 Comment Written 28-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
    Helen, thanks so much for the review and comments. I love your not coming through easy living but living well comment. So true. Hope you have a great time this holiday season. Hugh
Comment by
2016 Poet Of The Year
Dean Kuch
 
Review Stars
  
 
Excellent
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Hello, Hugh.
This would be an exceptionally excellent entry for a senryu or 5-7-5 contest.
But I am very tired of beating a dead horse so I'll simply wish you luck and move on.
 photo signature_140_zpsaezber2k.gif


 Comment Written 28-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
    Dean my friend, thanks for the review and stopping by. You may be right but I'm glad you took the time to comment. Hope you are finding some good cheer this holiday season. Hugh

reply by Dean Kuch on 29-Nov-2018
    My pleasure, Hugh.
    I hope the same for you & your family.
    ~Dean
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
FantasyGirl
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  8
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  22
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  7
 

#8 Ranked Author

#5 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
What a wonderful offering for this contest, Hugh -- Lifelines as roadmaps...such an awesome definition!! :) ;) Thank you for sharing and good luck, sir! :) ;) Yvette :)


 Comment Written 28-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
    Yvette, thanks for the review and comments. May you and yours be blessed this holiday season! I've noticed a few more "lifelines" in my face when I look in the mirror. Lol. Takje care. Hugh
Comment by
zanya
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  113 (+3)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  94 (+3)
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  41
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Such a dignified tribute to the process of ageing - exquisitely captured and portrayed here - our humanity's inevitable fate - though perhaps we try to stifle its onset !!


 Comment Written 28-Nov-2018



reply by the author on 28-Nov-2018
    Zanya, thanks so much for the six star review and comments. It is a tribute to those who age. We all face it if we live long enough. Hugh
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