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Reviews from
The Beach Encounter. Chapter 2

A romantic comedy with some sex included.

  3 total reviews 
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
Poet Rating
  Rank:  45
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  15 (+1)
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  36
Script Rating
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  10

#3 Ranked Script Writer
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
there's a little bit for all likes here. Some sex, expertly written to get past the youngest reader, lots of setting description going from cafe to chalet, a dead body to alert the senses, and intrigue.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2018

reply by the author on 31-Dec-2018
    Hi Bill,

    Thanks for your review.

    Am about to rewrite ( no, edit) a lot of chapter 2 as it looks badly written, even to me.

    Am aware that 80% of FanStory members are regular Christians, so would be upset with sex details.
    But in future chapters I will spice things up, by whatever means are available.

    Problem is : sex is boring compared with a game of soccer or any other game.

    Idea! I'll do a game of soccer with sex at half time.

    Or golf, with sex at each hole. The course will have to be in the jungle.

    Your advice please: Are there any good erotic fiction writers on FanStory,
    or is that sort of thing discouraged?

    Am scouting round for ideas, and am too old to do it myself. Unfortunately.

    Best wishes,


reply by Bill Schott on 31-Dec-2018
    It?s not discouraged as long as you warn the reader of content that?s violent or sexual. Some readers are teens and others conservative.
    AP Von K?ory (known as apky on our site) is the best at that genre.

reply by the author on 31-Dec-2018
    Brill. Am beginning to creep round this Fanstory treasure island, in order to find the interesting nooks and crannies.

reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
    Hi Bill,

    Could I ask your advice.

    Having just read my first Adult novel ( Haven of Obedience by Marina Anderson) I realise my own love making has been crap. Should I put a lot of sex in Beach Encounter, chapter 4? That's what I plan. But it's also quite educational sex, because I think lots of happy couples split up partly because they do not verbalise their sexual fantasies/ expectations.
Comment by
Premier Author
Premier Reader
Author Rating For Novels
Review Stars
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Sex scenes are the hardest to write without sounding pornographic. You seem to have mastered the art well. The Cat o nine tails worries me. What's all that about lol.
and why is it missing. Nice work keep it up

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2018

reply by the author on 27-Dec-2018

    Thanks for your encouragement. Will continue with the next chapter soon, and the Cat will be featured.


Comment by
Review Stars
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I must admit this story caught my attention and kept it to the last word, Google image included.

You have a most unique way of writing which is compelling to read. I personally couldn't make up my mind whether it was poetic prose, or prosy poem or verse. Whichever it is, I ademired and enjoyed the read.

 Comment Written 27-Dec-2018

reply by the author on 27-Dec-2018
    Hi Apky,

    Thanks for your comments. I'm having difficulty with the FanStory format function, hence I split the text into half lines. It presents on screen as a poetic format as a result.

    What I write in Word looks fine, but when I cut and paste into the Fanstory box it looks really odd.

    Give me time and I'll experiment with different techniques to make the whole process a lot smoother.

    Best Wishes,

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