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Reviews from
The Beach Encounter.Chapter 3.


The sunshine and the ice.

  2 total reviews 
Comment by
Teresa Alford
 
Review Stars
 
 
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I like the story, it captures my attention and I look forward to the subsequent chapters. However, with that said, I would suggest a grammar and spelling check. I do realize some of the spelling is the difference between American spelling and English spelling. Write on!!


 Comment Written 31-Dec-2018



reply by the author on 31-Dec-2018
    Hi Teresa,
    Thanks for your review. Am enjoying writing stories and poems, all types.

    Am experimenting a little with grammar, and like some professional authors,
    am making it slightly flexible.

    Best wishes,

    Richard
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  45
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  15
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  36
Script Rating
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  10
 

#3 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I liked this chapter as well. Your storytelling brings the reader in to the growing plot and creates character scetches along the way.

Second half of this sentence seems a non sequitur:
Clearly the death of her friend Max had taken part of her soul, and was there more she could not talk about?
Maybe lose the "and" and replace it with a semicolon.


Fourth paragraph uses an ellipsis where I believe a couple dashes would be more appropriate:
'and could I ask...?'
The ellipsis indicates that the speaker trailed off with unheard rhetoric; the dashes, or hyphens, indicate he was cut off in mid sentence.
'and could I ask--'

I've made a mental note that this is British vocabulary, so words I thought misspelled I see are not. That eliminated half of my review. Words like tyre and defenceless threw me off at first.

If the two notes on punctuation dispute what is accepted in your experience, I plead ignorance.

Happy day.


 Comment Written 31-Dec-2018



reply by the author on 31-Dec-2018
    Hi Bill,

    Thanks for your review.

    Yes, there is some experimental grammar. Possibly it's easier for the reader if I stay on regular usage.

    Also I need to explain things overtly, rather than assume the reader will get my point.[ eg re the 'soul' point above.]

    I plan to edit all my episodes in due course, so will incorporate your great suggestions.

    I need to put an up front warning "UK English spelling!"
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