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Reviews from
Coeden Wrachod (Witches' Wood)


Viewing comments for Prologue "Introduction - Hilltop Wood"

A tale in five parts.

  22 total reviews 
Comment by
sandramitchell
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Sandra Mitchell
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I missed this, Jim, I'll catch up. I love stories like this and you can certainly tell good ones. I'll read the next two parts tomorrow, I'm off to bed now. Now I've had the explanation of the meeting, I'll be able to settle back and read, :)) Sandra xxx


 Comment Written 24-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
    Thank you for stumbling on this. I walk through this wood most weeks with my dog on the way back from food shopping and I have often wondered how and why these trees are so twisted. Unable to obtain an answer I decided to make up the reason and this tale is the result.
Comment by
Pearl Edwards
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Interesting conversation about the twisted trees going back to Nelson's time and this little local history book that has a tale to tell. Great prologue Jim, sounds interesting,
cheers.
valda


 Comment Written 23-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
    Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this. Five episodes altogether over ten days is my aim with this. I hope you will come along for the ride.
Comment by
Jannypan (Jan)
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Your prologue reads well. Your book is off to a great start. I like the picture. It is a nice pairing with your words. Good job on the dialogue and description of the woods. Thanks for sharing. Jan


 Comment Written 22-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
    Thank you for this encouragfing review. Glad you are enjoying it so far.
Comment by
2018 Poet of the Year
Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
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Admiral Nelson sounds like a most intelligent man to have planted acorns when walking through the woods that didn't have any oak trees.

An excellent prologue, Jim. It's not that often we read a Welsh fantasy story so this shall prove to be most interesting.

Gloria


 Comment Written 22-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
    Our Nel was just securing his future employment I reckon. After all he had a wife and Emma Hamilton to support. Many thanks for this review.
Comment by
Sally Law
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Welcome to the pages of short stories. I enjoyed your historically rich style of writing. I have Welch ancestry on my mother's side. My maternal grandmother's surname was misspelled on several documents, and I was only able to trace her lineage back so far. I enjoyed your first offering very much, well, first for me, anyway. I hope to see more in the days ahead.
All my best,
Sally


 Comment Written 22-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 22-Jan-2019
    You will indeed. I shall be posting the first chapter, that was the prologue you reviewed, later today. I am chiefly a poet but occasionally I get these ideas that dont fit the poetic approach. I haven't written any creative prose for over a year now and I enjoyed get back to it. Many thanks for reading and reviewing.
Comment by
ciliverde
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Love the story so far. A few of the sentences are very long, which can put some readers off.
It seemed well researched with copious footnotes, and it was a mixture of dry historical fact, sprinkled with a few local anecdotes, like the one I already knew, about a previous occupant of the redundant farmhouse in which I lived who, in the early nineteenth century, had bought himself a housemaid at the local hiring fair, gone on to marry her, and had sired seven children by her.

You could easily turn this into two sentences:
It seemed well researched with copious footnotes, and it was a mixture of dry historical fact sprinkled with a few local anecdotes, like the one I already knew, about a previous occupant of the redundant farmhouse in which I lived. In the early nineteenth century, this man had bought himself a housemaid at the local hiring fair, gone on to marry her, and had sired seven children by her.

Coetir Allt y Rhiw - what does this actually mean?

Nicely done, I love the idea of that book with the brown paper cover, with interesting pages poking out the sides :))
Carol


 Comment Written 21-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
    Thanks for this and the six stars. Also fo pointing out the length of some sentences. I need to cut that down. As you say that wouldn't be hard. The meaning of that Welsh name will be revealed in the next episode or you could put it into Google translate like I did. Lol.

reply by ciliverde on 21-Jan-2019
    I thought about using GT but it seemed too easy, lol

reply by the author on 22-Jan-2019
    It does make mistakes but it is useful
Comment by
TheStoryMan
 
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This is a very interesting chapter. There were no spelling or grammar errors and no typos. I shall have to go back and read the prologue while I await the next chapter.


 Comment Written 21-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
    Many thanks for this review. This is a fairly low key beginning to a five part story. I hope you continue to enjoy and stick with it for the ride.
Comment by
giraffmang
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Nice introduction to character and setting in this opening salvo. there's a nice appealing tone to the write and could prove an interesting read.

Few notes I made as I read through-

You live in the farmhouse that backs onto this wood don't you? - need closing speech marks here before the speech tag kicks in.

'Yes,' said the woman, 'And well he might. - technically the dialogue following the speech tag here should start lower case. Neither the dialogue, nor tag is closed off making it continuing dialogue.

'Hang on a minute, I've got a local history with the whole story in it, if you are interested. Would you like to borrow it? - feels like a word is missing here - 'book' following local history? Also you need closing speech marks at the end.

and-written insert by there. I can't vouch for it because we discovered it by here, fifteen years ago, when we bought the farm. I was going to chuck it out, but when I dipped into it I found it quite fascinating. Being a writer you will probably find something to interest you in there. - need closing speech marks at the end of this section.

All the best
GMG


 Comment Written 21-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
    Thank you for the 'heads up' on those missing speech marks. The problem has now been addressed and rectified.
Comment by
Treischel
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An enticing introduction to a Welsh tale. I thought there was a bit of you inserted, as you acknowledge. A departure from poetic story telling to prose. I'm enchanted. Looking forward for more.


 Comment Written 21-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
    Thank you for this. I did think of it at first as a poem, but it was coming over as somewhat pretentious so I decided to leave it as a prose story and, like Topsy, it grew.

reply by Treischel on 21-Jan-2019
    Ah! You could insert an occasional 3-5-3 Haiku, and make it into a Haibun.

reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
    What with all that Welsh? You must be joking.

reply by Treischel on 21-Jan-2019
    Ok, make it a cross-rhymed 5-7-5. Lol.
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
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A very well-written introduction to your new story about the history of your current home town and it seems it will become an interesting story and historic facts interweaved.


 Comment Written 21-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019
    Thank you for this encouraging review at this early stage. Just what was needed.
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