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Reviews from
The Unfortunate Red Coat


This is a ....... MONOLOG.

  4 total reviews 
Comment by
Ms. Snyder
 
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Richard, Please look at your notes for missing letters after the words in "The 1930s coat is an in joke. I think you are missing the word side - Maybe? So when at the end you are saying at Wetherspoons who is mine (who is the Narrator?) name of Narrator? It would help if you just in the very beginning when there is cross-dialogue going on that you put Narrator in parenthesis or you use the italics to show the inner dialogue being spoken a variance in the talk. It is my suggestion here. But it is funny. Cheers, Fonda It starts a little confusing and ends a little confusing - but overall it has some good pieces of humor/humour to work with - you just need some special formatting to show it.


 Comment Written 27-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
    Fonda,

    How's your day been?

    While I was in the town of Coalville yesterday afternoon, a schoolgirl at a nearby school got run over by a bus and killed.

    Not a relative, but sad.

    Thanks,
    Richard.

reply by Ms. Snyder on 29-Jan-2019
    Wow, what a day for that to happen - I am so sorry to hear that - that is sad. I hope you are okay.
Comment by
Debra White
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Hi Richard,
I enjoyed the read.
Engaging narrative.
My favourite bit - crossing the line from heaven to hell. It's a very fine line (in both cases!)
I also like the repetitive starting lines - 'I had to...' and 'She dumped..., She dropped... really effective.
From my Sunday school days, I seem to remember Lot's wife turning into a pillar of salt (rather than stone) for turning back to look at Sodom and Gomorrah (I may be wrong though).
All in all, I found this a really entertaining read. :)
Is your course leader named Henry as well as the Henry The Late?! Funny if so!
Bye for now, Debs :)


 Comment Written 23-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
    .
    Debs,

    Thanks for your witty review.

    Thanks for the bit about Lot's wife, and most readers will know this, if they know the bible inside out.

    PS Christmas cracker joke.

    What's kept inside but occasionally pops out?

    [ make up your own answer.]

    The leader is not Henry. It's a woman. [not Henrietta either.]

    Have you come across anyone addicted to a past era? eg The Thirties?
    [Addicted means they are always dressed in that era.]


    Our tutor is the first I've come across.

    Thanks,
    Richard.

    PS I usually drop the Hi at the start.
    Instead I use the invisible Hi as it saves time.


reply by Debra White on 24-Jan-2019
    Richard (I used the invisible Hi)
    Scratching my head thinking about your cracker joke...
    I think I am addicted to clothes circa 2005 - most of my clothes date back to that year...luckily they still fit me! I'm either addicted, have a cash flow problem or have 3 kids who are growing to fast and need clothes replacing every other month!
    That's probably it!
    Bye for now, Debs
Comment by
Douglas Paul
 
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This flows well and is easy to follow. You are right, saying the wrong thing to a female can land you in a heap of trouble. I once asked a lady when here baby was due - she wasn't pregnant LOL


 Comment Written 22-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
    Thanks. Will remember the pregnant woman. This would be a great like in a comedy sketch!
    [She replies, "Am not expecting a baby. The doctor says it's an Alien!"]
Comment by
BigPoppaJrock
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First I like both the piece and the artwork, very well done. I enjoyed reading this quite the little adventure while awaiting Henry. Thanks for sharing.


 Comment Written 22-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 23-Jan-2019
    Thanks.
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