The Lie
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Reviews from
Coeden Wrachod (Witches' Wood)


Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "The Mantle of Elijah..."

A tale in five parts.

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
ciliverde
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Absolutely enchanting, I love this chapter. I have indeed read about the Teg before, if you can believe it, I used to love reading about faeries and magic.

'If you can find such a man, as I believed I had done, you must strike the same deal with him as I struck with your Da." - in the lines before you already said "That will be your work forever unless you too can find, as I thought I had done, a good man.."

I don't think you need to mention that twice.

Otherwise, great reading, I was entranced,
Carol


 Comment Written 05-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
    I am not surprised that someone with an interest in Wales and its language should have heard of the Tylwyth. You are going to like the sequel too as they get quiteextensive coverage. First chapter will be posted later today. Thanks fo this appreciative review and the six stars.
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Pearl Edwards
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Exceptional
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Great opening as Derwent says her goodbyes and transfers her powers to her daughter. Lovely descriptions as Deryth dances amongst the trees and ferns in the forest. I found it easy to visualize this scene, beautifully written.
cheers,
valda


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 30-Jan-2019
    Thank you so much for this complimentary review as well as the the six star grading. I am so pleased that this seems to work for you.
Comment by
trimple
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Hi, Jim


In this chapter, we see Deryth has instructed her daughter, via magic to continue on where her mother had failed, to look after the trees.

Derwin's dance through the woodland and her loving touch has helped to protect them.

The description of her long black ringlets, becoming entwined with the roots of the trees is so lovely :)


You must dance now to the summit, Derwen, dancing all the way mind, and you must ensure that in your dance some part of your body touches every tree that he has marked. -- A lovely scene :)


Ifan has broken his promise not to damage the trees close to their home and has been caught in [thre] {the} act

Most enjoyable

kind regards

tracey


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
    Thanks for another lovely review. Just one to go now. I think there must be advantages in reading it at one go as long as it doesn't get boring that way.

reply by trimple on 29-Jan-2019
    Indeed! Just finished it :)

    Such a lovely story, Jim. And so well told!
Comment by
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Gloria ....
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Well that is quite a dance sequence with saute and arabesques. I must admit to very much enjoying that strong and joyful imagery.

A most cool part indeed. It's quite possible Derwen is still there dancing in the forest in the trees.

Most enjoyable. :)

Gloria



 Comment Written 28-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
    That wood must be a spooky place in the dark. I think I shal always make sure I am home in time for tea. Thank you for another lovely review.
Comment by
tfawcus
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I'm enjoying this tale. It seems to be in the best traditions of the genre.

I like the way you use repetition for emphasis, as in:
'Your father gave me his word, and now he has broken that promise. You must save the trees, Derwen. Only you can save the trees now. I have failed in the task given to me, to protect those trees from harm, so I will be banished from these woodlands forever. That is the way of our law. That task devolves on you from now on. That is why I can do no more for these trees, and you must save them from destruction.'
where you have mentioned saving the trees from destruction three times. Things tend to come in threes in folk tales. I think the final sentence would be stronger though, if you split it in two, without the conjunction. It would tilt the emphasis to the second half.

Derwen's dance is beautifully described.


 Comment Written 27-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
    Thank you so much for this perceptive review. I agree entirely with what you say. These things have a formal construction to which I was unwittingly adhering. it is not unlike poetry in that respect . You select your metre and you stick with it. So the genre is akin to the metre here and one should operate within it. I have split that sentence.
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Sandra du Plessis
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A very well-written chapter. Because of his betrayal he lost his wife and his daughter and will not see either of them again in his lifetime. Derwin will now have the powers of her mother to protect the trees.


 Comment Written 27-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
    Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter. The final chapter will be posted tomorrow, Monday
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
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So Derwen has done the dance that her mother instructed her to do. She danced all night to save the trees. She is now
a full-blooded member of the Tylwyth Teg. Whew! I can't imagine how to pronounce those words. LOL
Now she must look for a mortal man she can trust who will love the trees as much as she, a good man who can put the good of the trees before his own greed for wealth. Well done Jim. Nancy:)


 Comment Written 27-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
    Thanks for the review, Nancy. There is a pronunciation guide in the notes. Anyway it seems you are enjoying the story. Just one more chapter and I shall be posting that tomorrow.
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Treischel
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Exceptional
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You start this chapter with a surprising appearance of the mother using mental telepathy, and reveal a Welsh faerie myth. I think. oh this is good, sit back and sip my morning coffee.

Those faeries have harsh rules - banishment forever.

I can visualize her dancing through that woods.

The use of those Welsh words give such depth to you tale. the seem to float in the air.

An impressive transformation.

You described the dance with the true eloquence of a poet.

I loved the romance of it all.


 Comment Written 27-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
    Thank you for this complimentary review and the six glorious stars. Just one more chapter to go that will be posted on Monday. I am so pleased that this has worked so well for you.
Comment by
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Dolly'sPoems
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Exceptional
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A fascinating write filled with mystique and folk law and I enjoyed the dance to save the trees here. You are entrenched in the Welsh words and way of life . . . He he he, I enjoyed this on-going sweet story to save the trees in the wood. My first six this week, well deserved. Love Dolly x


 Comment Written 27-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
    Did I not get the last six of last week as well? You are spoiling me. Lol. Thank you anyway. One more chapter of this will be posted on Monday, but i found I couldn't leave it alone and I am now working on a sequel, which should be ready soon.

reply by Dolly'sPoems on 27-Jan-2019
    Yes, last of last week and first of this week! Not bad going!

reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
    Thank you.
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Sarkems
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So sad. I wish Deryth had told her husband she'd be banished from the woods if he cut those trees, it might have made all the difference. Derwen's dance is so beautifully crafted, Pantygynt. It's as though I'm watching her from behind a tree.


Your closing sentence makes it sound like this is the end. I do hope not, this is such a lovely tale, I want to go on reading.


 Comment Written 27-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
    The final episode, which will be posted on Monday is already written as are the opening chapters of a sequel so by no means is this finished. Many thanks for this prophetic review.

reply by Sarkems on 27-Jan-2019
    Ahh, good. I look forward to it.
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