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Reviews from
Coeden Wrachod (Witches' Wood)


A tale in five parts.

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
BeasPeas
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  Rank:  13
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  117
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  10
Review Stars
  Rank:  22
 

#10 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 2 -
All Good Things...
This is an excellent chapter to your story. Interesting and well composed. Story flows well throughout and the reader wonders what will happen next. Marilyn


 Comment Written 12-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
    Thank you for this review. i am pleased you saw fit to comment even when the money's gone.
Comment by
Brigitte Elko
 
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Rating of Chapter 2 -
All Good Things...
This is an excellent story, well written and leaves the reader to want more. I was enthralled all the way through and cursed Ifan as promises were broken. It tells of life and consequences. It should do well in the contest and I wish you the best of luck. It has my vote.

Brigitte


 Comment Written 10-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
    Thank you so much for this review and your vote in the contest. I am most grateful.
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
Story Catcher
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  17
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  40
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  23
 

#9 Ranked Poet
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Rating of Chapter 2 -
All Good Things...
Jim,

So far, in reading all the entries for the BOM, yours is hands-down my fav. YAY! I wish I had known about this from the start. I had no idea you wrote much prose. So glad you do, though!

What I love about this story is that it tiptoes right on the line between reality and fairy tale land. There's something very magical about it and extremely fun. There's a feeling that anything can happen. And that's awesome!

If you don't mind, I do have a few comments for you. Things for you to double-check:
1.) strangely skilled and beautiful 21 year(-)old.
--> Almost every editor will ask you to spell out any numbers under ten, and a large number of editors will ask for any number under one hundred to be spelled out. It's a good habit to get into to just spell them all out. (But that's a personal choice.)

2.) Though still a single storey, there was now a separate bedroom for Derwen, as well as a master bedroom,
--> making the other a master bedroom
--> otherwise, makes it sounds like these are both new

3.) She never goes that far from the cottage in that direction.
--> She never goes far from the cottage in that direction.

4.) The idea plagued him daily, and inevitably he eventually succumbed.
--> do not need both 'inevitably' and 'eventually'


That's it! Much good luck to you!


 Comment Written 09-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
    You are welcome to dive into my portfolio for the rest. It is only five chapters long. Another one has just started involving the same man, Ifan.

    I get these ideas sometimes and have to follow them up. Perhaps this interest at this time is a reaction from the tanka a day of last year.

    Many thanks for pointing out those anomalies. I know full well about the no numeral rule and only the other day chided someone in my rhyme class for putting numerals inbto a poem. I should have known better and will be chnging it.

    In fact he would have built both rooms on new. That kind of cottage built for single occupancy would initially have had only one room in which everything would have happened. In which case though it still was not phrased properly. I will be looking at it again also. As for points 3 and 4. I agree with 4 but not with 3 as it is a specific distance.

    This was a first class review and deserves a 'thumb' which you will get if I still have one available.

reply by robyn corum on 10-Feb-2019
    For #3 how bout ?she never goes TOO far from the cottage in that direction ??
    ?> trying to avoid two ?thats ?

reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
    Yes that would be fine that would! Lol.
Comment by
ciliverde
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  119 (+1)
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Review Stars
  Rank:  460
 
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Rating of Chapter 4 -
Aftermath
Fantastic ending, you leave us with just a couple of things to think about. First, that Derwen is still dancing through those trees, and who know what she might think of a man walking through the woods? And then, of course, the Rottweiler lady and her gorgeous eyes...it does give one food for pondering :))
Well done, I love how you turned your woodland walk into a fabulous faery story.
Carol


 Comment Written 05-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
    The sequel involves another place you would like to walk in, the sand dunes of Merthyr Mawr Warren. Thank you for this lovely review.
Comment by
ciliverde
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  Rank:  119 (+1)
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  Rank:  460
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 3 -
The Mantle of Elijah...
Absolutely enchanting, I love this chapter. I have indeed read about the Teg before, if you can believe it, I used to love reading about faeries and magic.

'If you can find such a man, as I believed I had done, you must strike the same deal with him as I struck with your Da." - in the lines before you already said "That will be your work forever unless you too can find, as I thought I had done, a good man.."

I don't think you need to mention that twice.

Otherwise, great reading, I was entranced,
Carol


 Comment Written 05-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 06-Feb-2019
    I am not surprised that someone with an interest in Wales and its language should have heard of the Tylwyth. You are going to like the sequel too as they get quiteextensive coverage. First chapter will be posted later today. Thanks fo this appreciative review and the six stars.
Comment by
Pearl Edwards
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  Rank:  83
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  Rank:  127
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 4 -
Aftermath
This is a great finish to this little story, and I will look forward to reading more about Ifan's life, out of the woodlands he'd always called home. Me, I like to think Derwen and Deryth are still there dancing the nights away. Great finish with the Rottweiler Lady's violet eyes.
cheers,
valda


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 30-Jan-2019
    Another six stars. You are most generous. Thank you so much . Yes, you never know when you may meet up with these supernaturals. Sequel will be posted shortly.
Comment by
Pearl Edwards
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  Rank:  127
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 3 -
The Mantle of Elijah...
Great opening as Derwent says her goodbyes and transfers her powers to her daughter. Lovely descriptions as Deryth dances amongst the trees and ferns in the forest. I found it easy to visualize this scene, beautifully written.
cheers,
valda


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 30-Jan-2019
    Thank you so much for this complimentary review as well as the the six star grading. I am so pleased that this seems to work for you.
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
Level 1 Pro
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  Rank:  45
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  Rank:  70
 
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Rating of Chapter 4 -
Aftermath
I am afraid I could never learn that language Jim. I am suppose to have a wee bit of Welch in me. One of my ancestors was the Prince of Wales. That is what my Grandmother said. At the time, I was not impressed, (I was a child.) Now I wonder. LOL Interesting story, well done. Nancy:)


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
    I feel the same about it. It is not spoken much any more in this part of Wales, so there seemed little point in learning it, except to drop the odd word in for authenticity's sake. Things were very different back in the eighteenth century though. The industrial revolution had yet to make its mark and Wales was very rural back then and very -- well -- Welsh. I am still writing the first draft of the sequel but it will be up there in a week or two. Many thanks for your support with this.
Comment by
Treischel
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  Rank:  105
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Rating of Chapter 4 -
Aftermath
You really have us feeling sorry for poor devastated Ifan.

The soul-searching delay in the cottage adds nicely to the drama.

I enjoyed your further descriptions of the Fairy Folk. As well as the unique differences of the two women.

"Terpsichorean" now there' a new word to add to my vocabulary.

Loved your description of the change. Very poetic.

I'd have loved to meet Deryth when I was a young man.

I would be mesmerized by violet eyes. i am drawn to beautiful eyes like a magnet.

Excellent story overall. Excellent closing chapter. All worthy of a 6.


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
    I have only come across eyes like that once in my life, when I was delivering flour from my mill to a bakers in Herefordshire. She was behind the counter and I only ever saw her the once, but they made a deep impression on me, and I am not one who notices eyes much. Thanks for all your reviews of this story. I should have the sequel out in a week or so.
Comment by
trimple
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  Rank:  178
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  Rank:  111 (+1)
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Rating of Chapter 4 -
Aftermath
Hi, Jim

Well well well...

So poor ole Ifan was abandoned as he broke his promise and found all the beautiful tall trees had turned to knarled and twisted wrecks that were no use to the navy...

The part where the woodland reverts from one season to another is quite magical :)

So we are left wondering, should we venture into the woods, will we see these pretty witches, dance between the roots of the trees...

A lovely story from start to end.

Kind regards

tracey


 Comment Written 29-Jan-2019



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
    Thank you for all these lovely review. I am so pleased you have enjoyed the wrachod experience. There is a sequel that i am working on that I hope to post shortly. I hope I shall see you then.

reply by trimple on 29-Jan-2019
    PLeasure was all mine :)
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