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Reviews from
A sailor assured


story-poem.

  43 total reviews 
Comment by
nancyjam
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  152
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  179
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I so enjoyed your story poem. It reminds me of some of the old sea shanties if it was put to music. The meter is just right for that.
Great images and clever rhyming with a dose of humor.
Good luck in the contest.
Nancy



 Comment Written 05-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 07-Feb-2019
    Thank you, Nancy :)
Comment by
gramag4
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a wonderful and clever poem. It flows so nicely and I love the humor. I'll be watching for that wandering albatross(: Congratulations on a great job!


 Comment Written 05-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 07-Feb-2019
    Thank you!

reply by gramag4 on 07-Feb-2019
    You are welcome!
Comment by
rspoet
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  33
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  21
Review Stars
  Rank:  85
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hello Tracey,
This is a clever poem/ballad with the theme revealed in the first words
though not easily discerned in the smokey, old room.
He likely dropped dead from heart disease
(caused by smoking rather than the song)
I like the rolled-up clouds (of smoke) allusion
and the contrast of clear sea-air and the sorrowful smoke.
An albatross, indeed.
Good luck in the contest
Robert




 Comment Written 05-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
    Good evening, Robert.

    I'm truly honoured to have received such a special rating from a writer with such a high calibre as your good self.

    I'm pleased you enjoyed this :)

    much love

    tracey
Comment by
PeterRHW
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I have long known the souls of dead seamen pass into the albatross but, until now, I was unaware the bad habits went with them. Will we find albatrosses swearing and drinking rum next? Just joking, this is an excellent poem, sad with an unexpected touch of black humour. I do like your creative use of punctuation and slant rhymes to give it a timeless dimension, a most enjoyable read. Best wishes, Peter


 Comment Written 05-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
    Good afternoon, again, Peter.

    I saw a photograph a couple years ago of a seaman/fisherman I think it was, who held a pelican and made it smoke a cigarette. This awful picture has stayed with me and inspired me to write this.

    Thanks for the review and rating.

    much appreciated

    kind regards

    trimple
Comment by
BeasPeas
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  18
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  25
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
What impresses me most about your poem is the wonderful rhythm of the piece. Your story poem is interesting with great word choices and rhyme. The poem takes a twist in stanza five as we find that the albatross was taught to smoke by the sailor. Good luck in the contest. Marilyn


 Comment Written 04-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
    Thank you, Marilyn
Comment by
sandramitchell
Level 1 Pro
Sandra Mitchell
Sandra Stoner Mitc
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  84
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  1
Review Stars
  Rank:  26
 

#1 Ranked Novelist!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I loved this jaunty poem, with is bouncy rhythm that flows like the waves at sea. The poor sailor drops dead listening to a lovely ballad! That's so sad. But it seems his soul will take flight as an albatross, who likes tobacco. I loved it! Well done and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra


 Comment Written 04-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
    Thank you, Sandra :)
Comment by
Louise Michelle
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  50
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  83
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Well, trimple, you grabbed my attention and held it throughout. What a splendid story put into poetic form. I know a lot of effort went into this piece and it shows.

The storyline was good, the meter perfect and the rhyme choices compelling. Very nice work! Best Wishes, Lou


 Comment Written 04-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
    Thank you very much, Louise :)

Comment by
Liberty Justice
Liberty Justice Premier Author
Liberty Justice Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  379
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
What a well written story poem ballad about a seaman who must have smoked lots of cigar and might have had health problems. Your verses flow so smoothly with a sad taste of beauty. WELL DONE. Read my writings also. lolol liberty justice


 Comment Written 04-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
    Thank you, Liberty

reply by Liberty Justice on 05-Feb-2019
    Do you smoke cancer
    sticks?

reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
    I smoke yes. Unfortunately :(
Comment by
Sugarray77
Melissa
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  16
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  95
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I hated to chuckle at a smoking albatross addicted to tobacco because the first part of the verse was mellow and meaningful... then in came the albatross... too cute... scarfing his tobacco and wandering out to sea again. Very well done and a lot of fun to read.

Melissa


 Comment Written 04-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
    Thank you, Melissa :)
Comment by
Nina Dorman
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi there,

I love literature of all sorts, however, this might be the best poem I have read in such a long time. Your careful attention to diction and the amount of syllables used in each line made the stanzas flow effortlessly. That aside, the story itself was amazing. Your character was believable, fitting perfectly into this story of sorrow and searching. Wonderfully done, I am so glad you added this poem to the site. Best of luck!

Nina


 Comment Written 04-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 05-Feb-2019
    Good evening to you, Nina

    Thank you very much for your thoughtful review and special rating.

    kind regards

    trimple
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