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Reviews from
Ode to a Beer Snob


a fake contest entry

  17 total reviews 
Comment by
closetpoetjester
Metronomaniacal
Tendancies
 
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  Rank:  54
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  Rank:  302
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
LOL Well there's some words you don't see every day. Although I AM familiar with antimaccassar, I used to have them on my lounge (hand made by my Mum now 92) I also love the word "perusal". I use it from time to time in my trade. Now, whilst I don't love beer at all, for some reason beer breath is a bit of a turn on LOL that's fresh beer breath not next morning beer breath haha anyway, you've certainly met the brief here and managed to insult the beer drinkers at the same time haha
I'm not much of a drinker so I thoroughly enjoyed this write from an outside POV. Just don't get him to breathe on me or in my general direction haha

BTW Your wit is a charm. Keep it and use it wisely.
On second thoughts...

P


 Comment Written 19-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 20-Mar-2019
    Thanks, P - good to hear from you and I hope you'll be posting soon again. My dad moonlighted as a bartender back in the day when beer was mass produced and there were no beer menus and guys didn't take fifteen minutes deciding whether a beer was "hoppy" enough. I'm sure this whole trend of artisanal beers and the concomitant beer snobbery has him turning in his grave.
Comment by
Ms. Snyder
 
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Between you-lot, I swear I might need to change my clothes - regularly! The humor, the crying - what is it with this month? I either have all sadness all the time or all humor all the time - can't I get a merry mix? Is that too much to ask? I guess what I need to do is skip on the new messages; then just do a smidge of you, a smidge of the others, a smidge of Gloria and that way I get a balance. I love that you did this contest!!! YOU ARE AWESOME. I have already locked in my vote for 2045! I am also calling you out on the Slant rhyme for Schnosel/perusal! But it is still a rhyme! I will give you that... I guess because of the Chicago AAAA sound you may using that bit of accent that could really twist it! But there is too much UUU in perusal for me... LOL, I am a total BEER SNOB - I don't drink Beer it is a waste of my good inebriation. I would rather go straight for the Rum. That is when I allow myself the once in the blood, wolf, blue, new, half-moon allotment. Hey, can you do me a favor - can you get a really good Italian beef sandwich for me and enjoy it and then remind me when you have digested it? I miss those so much! Oh and I forgot the last time, my best friends last name is Mueller the umlaut goes over u. I have no idea what antimacassar is and I won't profess to and even if I did look it up and find out that maybe a person with OCD had one I still wouldn't use it because I don't have OCD and dirt is my friend! Cheers, Fonda


 Comment Written 25-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 25-Feb-2019
    Thanks for the wonderful, stream-of-consciousness review. Much appreciated, and you've given me a suggestion as to what to have for lunch today (Al's Italian Beef).

reply by Ms. Snyder on 25-Feb-2019
    Ah YES!! Fanfreakingtastic!
Comment by
susand3022
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Hi Mark, this is really cute and made me laugh a bit. I have seen a couple of 'entries' for this 'fake contest' with these random words. You've done a really good job! :)


 Comment Written 23-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 24-Feb-2019
    Thanks, Susan - it was a follow up to a piece I posted a day before positing a fake contest, I thought I would answer my own challenge and a few others decided to join in.
Comment by
LaRosa
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ha ha, love your perusal of Schnosel-isms. And the Benedict Cummerbund? Really fun. Sorry, Benedict, I still like ya!
Not a beer drinker, I have to admit that Bud's A-OK for me!


 Comment Written 23-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
    I like a good Bud myself. Thanks for the six!

reply by LaRosa on 23-Feb-2019
    Welcome!
Comment by
Sandra du Plessis
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#7 Ranked Poet

#5 Ranked Reviewer
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A very well-written poem about the beer snob and the required words that are incorporated in the poem. Beer drinkers seem to have their favorite brand and there is very little that can change that.


 Comment Written 23-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
    Thank you kindly, Sandra.
Comment by
24chas
 
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This was great, Mark Valentine. I was already chuckling from the artwork you used and when I read your piece I laughed out loud. You really captured the beer snob in all their glory. Plus you fulfilled the requirements of the imaginary contest. Nicely done.


 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
    Yes, beer snobs are not fun people to have a beer with. Thanks for the review.
Comment by
2019 Short Works Writer of the Year
Ideasaregems-Dawn
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  Rank:  51
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Tsk, tsk!
by Dawn (for Mark Valentine) but I really wrote it for Robyn, so there. (LOL)

Falafel is delicious, but don't serve it on dishes,
just wrap it in Gran's antimacassar,
or in some parchment paper -
a rather pleasing caper
to fold it like a cute groom's cummerbund.
Now I don't speak much German,
but asked my Uncle Herman,
"Dare I leave off the umlaut, Honeybun?
Cuz wedding invitations
go out without libations,
and vowels won't be rounded, not a one!"

NEED BEER?


 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
    Thankfully, it is Friday afternoon, and one of the few perks at my job is a Friday happy hour, so I have beer at the moment. I appreciate your playing our game. I know the official voting isn't complete until 2045, but, at least preliminarily, now that I've read all of the entries, I am going to go ahead and proclaim myself the winner and go claim my prize of another beer.

    Yay me!

reply by Ideasaregems-Dawn on 22-Feb-2019
    HAHAHAHA! (cheater) *grumble, mumble, grip*

reply by Ideasaregems-Dawn on 22-Feb-2019
    gripe, not grip. LOL!!! Damn it!!! sticky KEYBOARD
Comment by
2018 Poet of the Year
Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
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  Rank:  25
 
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Wherever did you find that photograph of the rare and exotic beer snob? This is fantastic. You wove in the requisite words so seamlessly one barely can even tell which ones are which.

Classy wit and I couldn't agree more the consuming plebeian brews is a practice to be shunned. Excellent umlaut too!

Gloria


 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
    Thanks, Gloria. My father was a bartender at a very blue collar bar and is probably rolling over in his grave at the idea of beer snobs.
Comment by
pome lover
Premier Author
Katharine Folkes
 
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  Rank:  148
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  Rank:  43
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wonderful and funny, as usual. I especially love awful and falafel!
You will probably be the only entrant. (semi kidding) Those are tough words.
Especially rhyming them in a poem. Muy bueno!
good luck in the contest.
pome lover


 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019
    Thanks you, Katharine. Now that I have that out of my system, I can go back to writing silly song parodies.

reply by pome lover on 23-Feb-2019
    look forward to them
Comment by
Joy Graham
I think in ink
Write on!
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  91
 
Excellent
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Hi Mark,

This contest entry is true genious. Sorry to be out of sixes, but I only have two left and am not giving them up. You know how it is. My only way tomget sixes is to keep them. My poetry talent seems to be lacking these days.

So you have started a contest. I took notes when Robyn posted about it. I will be 83 by then and old enough to forget what I wrote. I'm sure I will win.

I love that you rhymed schnosel with perusal. They both end with the letter L.

Look for my own contest entry very soon.

Joy xx


 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019
    Given my reference to "Benedict Cummerbund", your rating is probably 4 more stars than I deserve. Thanks so much - I'll keep an eye out for your entry and pray that you make it to 2045.
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