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Reviews from
Heads Will Roll


A story of mutilation. 150 words

  37 total reviews 
Comment by
rama devi
May All Beings Be Happy
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  80 (+4)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  195
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Ha ha ah! Clever closing twist. Otherwise...yucky salad! Red and white cabbage makes good coleslaw. perfect flash fiction style and pacing. Favorite lines:

The immediate carnage. Raising the instrument high, he then slammed it down with such force as to split the blissfully unaware head in two. Each half spilled open, fully exposed, wobbling on the sacrificial oaken block.

Hilarious, in retrospect!

Warmly, rd


 Comment Written 24-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 25-Feb-2019
    Thanks so much, rd. Yucky, indeed. I'm almost ashamed of myself. But misdirection is the whole game with Flash. It's always the second reading that parts the curtains. As you suggest, 'Hilarious, in retrospect'. Thanks again, rd.
    Peace, Lee

reply by rama devi on 25-Feb-2019
    Exactly! :-) Peace and smiles, rd
Comment by
Miss Sherry
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
You RASCAL! I was gulping and gasping and finding you a horrid man. Then, coleslaw!! What a clever write this is. I think I watch too many horror movies.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest and I think I will go fix some lunch.


 Comment Written 24-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
    Thanks, Miss Sherry. Yup, I'm a cur rascal! But I fooled you! And you're a good sport. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee

reply by Miss Sherry on 09-Mar-2019
    I will keep my eye on you!!
Comment by
N.K. Wagner
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  109
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  292
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I caught on early, Lee. I don't think you gave anything away, I just guessed right this time. Your maniacal cook really gets into his work. Great job. :) Nancy


 Comment Written 24-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 25-Feb-2019
    No fair! You know I can't write gory on a bet! You should recuse yourself!

    Really, Nancy, thank you. I think I may have waded the Flash waters a bit too often lately. When people realize 'severed heads' refer to cabbage right off the bat, you know the jig is up.

    Still, how many writers get to put a coleslaw recipe in a 150-word story?

    Thank you, Smart-Aleck Nancy!

    Peace, Lee


reply by N.K. Wagner on 25-Feb-2019
    😜
Comment by
2018 Novelist of the Year.
2017 Short Works and 2017 Script Writer of the Year.
Thomas Bowling
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  129
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  19 (+1)
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  10
Script Rating
  Rank:  7
Review Stars
  Rank:  41
 

#10 Ranked Novelist

#7 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Not what I was expecting. I guess you're a garden variety terrorist. I read on the net someone experimenting to find out if people still lived after decapitation. This was in the eighteenth century. After a man was guillotined, he shouted his name. The head opened his eyes and looked at the man. He did this two more times and finally got no response after three minutes.


 Comment Written 24-Feb-2019


Comment by
Sarkems
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  159
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Ha. Didn't see that coming, but I really should've, since I used to make the coleslaw we sold in the shop. It's a good tale with a neat twist.

A couple of little things, though.
How he anticipated the next part. - This needs an exclamation mark, I feel, because it is an exclamation. It's the only reason you'd start a sentence with 'How' without said sentence being a question. The exclamation mark would clarify this, otherwise it does slightly read as though you've missed the 'question' aspect of the sentence.

'stirred in mayonnaise, sugar, vinegar, oil, salt(,) pepper and fresh lemon juice.'- 'And' should be before the last thing on any list.


But again, I marvel at your ability to knock these things out.


 Comment Written 24-Feb-2019



reply by the author on 25-Feb-2019
    Thanks so much, Emma. I appreciate the spag alerts--I've made both revisions.

    Alas, I was chopping cabbage when this idea was conceived. I can't say for sure from which head it sprang.

    So, on the Isle of Sark, would my slaw recipe pass muster? Just so you know, I add toasted caraway seeds, too.

    Thanks again. Peace, Lee

reply by Sarkems on 25-Feb-2019
    It'd be a posh one for us. I just used to chop up cabbage, onion and carrots, wang them into a massive tub and mix in a lot of mayo. It was very popular - still is, although I don't work in the shop any more, so someone else makes it.
Comment by
24chas
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  11
Review Stars
  Rank:  213
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Terrific stuff, Humpwhistle. I was preparing myself for the worst warily since I didn't see a warning for violence. Your usual sharp writing and descriptions. By the way, I love coleslaw with BBQ, so maybe you can tackle the storyof the pig next! :)

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 24-Feb-2019


Comment by
country ranch writer
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  153 (+3)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  21
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  34
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  58
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
hehe made this guy feel like a mass murder or something to the fact. Nice work up for your poem and a bit scary to the end hehe

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 24-Feb-2019


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