Take Your Burdens to Jesus
This is a 5-7-5 poetry writing
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Reviews from
Beach Front Property


Not all that it is cracked up to be...

  50 total reviews 
Comment by
sandramitchell
Level 1 Pro
Sandra Mitchell
Sandra Stoner Mitc
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  97
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  Rank:  1
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 Rank:  19
 

#1 Ranked Novelist!
Excellent
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As the ending says, 'By the grace of God... There are many Mary's and even more John's out there, it's so sad. A bit more compassion, a bit more help could change their lives. This is a very well constructed story prose, with a sad message. Well done, and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xxx


 Comment Written 06-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
    By the grace indeed... My Mom having been a paranoid schizophrenic was foiled by life and I would have (if I could have) taken that from her!
Comment by
2018 Novelist of the Year.
2017 Short Works and 2017 Script Writer of the Year.
Thomas Bowling
Premier Author
 
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Recently, I've found myself writing not because I had something to say, but because I felt I needed to post something. For this reason, I am taking a break from FanStory. I will be back when I've written something interesting.


 Comment Written 06-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
    Hey Thomas Bowling... I know exactly of what you speak and I find myself doing that sometime and reign myself when it happens I don't want to say something... not just have something to say... I'm with you, Thomas...
Comment by
victor 66
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  Rank:  256
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  Rank:  144
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  Rank:  238
 
Excellent
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The poorest and most down trodden of us have hearts, feelings and emotions like everyone else. Why would a "Cart Lady" be any different. When we die, Mary doesn't' get to take her carts with her and I don't get to take my beat-up 1996 Miata with me. We're all the same, sometimes we just don't know it. This is a very touching poem. Best wishes.


 Comment Written 06-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
    victor... ditto... thanks...

reply by victor 66 on 07-Mar-2019
    You're welcome, Mystery Author.
Comment by
QC Poet
 
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  Rank:  411 (+1)
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  Rank:  272
 
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It still amazes me how some folks will gladly support organizations for animals and other causes yet move away and brush off humans who have obvious issues asking for help get through a day. Thank you for Sharing your Gifts and insight.


 Comment Written 06-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
    Oh boy, don't get me started... If only our everyone felt the same... from your lips to God's ears... I agree!!!!!
Comment by
coffeeandink
 
 
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Not a very nice way to picture a lady, but then, maybe you were talking about how people, come to the ocean, and leave behind, bottles, plates and plastic bags, then your were right, not a nice way to picture a lady. But too the waves crash and curse, and i wonder how deeply the ocean was hurt, by people. Very nice poem. Just who was the lady? Nicr way to see it. Not beautiful, but you made a point or five Nice work.


 Comment Written 06-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
    Hey coffee and, I am writing about a homeless woman who lives out of her carts... God Bless all of those in need... yours, diana
Comment by
24chas
 
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I liked this piece, unknown writer. It had a good flow to it. The story itself was sad and tragic with Mary preferring to live in fantasy rather than deal in reality. Nice job and good luck in the contest.


 Comment Written 06-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
    Hey, thanks for your sage review... yours, di
Comment by
jenintorre
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  125 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  127
Review Stars
  Rank:  167
 
Excellent
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Poor Mary. I suspect she has dementia or something similar. This is a great story/poem and a very good entry for the competition.Best wishes and good luck. Jen.


 Comment Written 06-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
    Hey, thanks for your sage review... yours, di
Comment by
Sharon Haiste
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  86
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  30
Review Stars
  Rank:  91
 
Excellent
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I think this is a good entry for the Story/Prose Poem contest.
Your story, although sad, is clear and well told within the verse.
Well done and good luck with the contest.
Sharon


 Comment Written 06-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
    Hey, thanks for your sage review... yours, di
Comment by
Joy Graham
I think in ink
Write on!
 
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Excellent
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Poor Mary :( I was happy to visualize her playing in the surf at the beach. You described it so well that I could picture it. I understand life can get crazy that people turn to the homeless life. A lot of it being mental health issues, and that the homeless are territorial. You make your readers see the reality of the situation. Their world isn't an easy place to be. I wish there were more things we can do to lighten their load like this moment at the beach.

Best wishes in this contest. I think this is a strong story poem contender.

Joy xx


 Comment Written 06-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
    Hey, thanks for your sage review... yours, di
Comment by
Treischel
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  Rank:  215
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Homeless and on the beach, you convey the tragic reality of panic and confusion of Mary. All too often this ia the reality. Was it humane to eliminate asylums?


 Comment Written 06-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
    Hey, thanks for your sage review... yours, di
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