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Reviews from
Amaya


Rhyming stanzas.

  48 total reviews 
Comment by
Colin John
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  133
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Review Stars
  Rank:  151
 
Excellent
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A very warm and heatfelt poem , congradulations for your reconized and all time best award. it must be a great feeling being honored in this way. Keep up the good work. Kind Regards Colin


 Comment Written 21-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019
    Thank you very much.
Comment by
Raul1
JOSE CONDE
Miami
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  117
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  36 (+2)
Review Stars
  Rank:  60
 
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This poem has a little bit of everything. It sounds a bit of drama and astronomy altogether. I like your poem because it's interesting. Thanks for sharing! Good luck in the contest!


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    Yes. Drama, astronomy, astrology and what not. "poetic license"!
    Thanks a lot.

reply by Raul1 on 18-Mar-2019
    You're welcome.
Comment by
Sandra Elizabeth Williams
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This is a very commendable poem. I must say I did not at first understand the beginning lines, but reading to the end and reading your notes, I was able to understand.

The rhymes are very good and flow well.

My condolences on the loss you have suffered SBD congratulations on the birth of your precious little one.



 Comment Written 08-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    Thank you very much .I am sorry for the delayed reply. was going thro a tough time.

reply by Sandra Elizabeth Williams on 18-Mar-2019
    I am sorry to hear.
Comment by
Wabigoon
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Sanku--
I think your rhyming is fine. I have some trouble with internal things:
Of growing unease (of the) life's flow. Just seems clumsy -- why not "over life's flow?"

And maybe it would be possible to include "granddaughter" instead of "guileless," so a note about who Amaya is is not necessary?

Otherwise, a good poem. My daughter-in-law is expecting a child this summer. Will be out first grandbaby.

Thanks
Wabigoon/Jeff


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 10-Mar-2019
    Thank you very much for this review. syllable count hinders the use of correct words. i liked your suggestion 'over life's flow ' very much .I will make that change.
    Thanks a lot for the suggestions.
Comment by
Gail Denham
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A lovely tribute and welcome to your granddaughter. I enjoyed your poem. I also have trouble with rhyming - I struggle with it. I think your second line might read a bit smoother -- perhaps: "like a morbid wrap, time has flung" - or "like a morbid wrap has been flung", or "like a morbid wrap, grief has flung"
Nit-picking I know - sorry - but what a joy that God gave you after the intense grief. Thanks for sharing. The picture surely suits.


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 10-Mar-2019
    Thank you very much for the suggestion. I liked that and i am going to change the second line accordingly .Thanks a lot .
Comment by
Janice Canerdy
Premier Author
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  Rank:  41 (+3)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  12
 
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This is a lovely, moving poem! The progression from fear and anxiety
to overwhelming joy and praise is so uplifting. Births can lift one from
the depths!


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    Thank you very much for your beautiful words.
Comment by
dragonpoet
Premier Author
 
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  Rank:  95
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  Rank:  63
 
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The miracle of a child does change life forever. It brings joy and a lot of worthwhile work. It seems this child was early. It seems that joy of life won out over the sadness of death.

Good luck and keep writing

dragonpoet


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    Thank you very much.

reply by dragonpoet on 18-Mar-2019
    You are most kindly welcome.

    dp
Comment by
Elisabeth Parker
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
So sweet. And true. Beautiful, like the little one. Such a lovely fitting picture to suit the poem. Perhaps your loved ones sent her early ? Knowing the comfort she would be to you.


 Comment Written 08-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    Thank you very much for this beautiful review.Thanks once again for the six stars.
Comment by
sfharper
 
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Congratulations on the grand daughter! What a lovely way to commemorate her arrival. You capture some of the low spirits and the trauma of a too quick birth. Good use of rhyme, it flows well and is easy to read. Enjoyed it.


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    Thank you very much.Sorry for the delay in replying.
Comment by
A. Willow Bends
Premier Author
Wendy
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  77
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  202
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I think you did a remarkable job with this piece. Your flow is there, the topic is wonderful. I sincerely appreciated you sharing the author notes. This visual is wonderful to go with your words. The rhyming is quite nice and extremely appropriate and lovely for this poem. This has all the elements of perfection, in my opinion and what a lovely tribute to Amaya. I hope you have this enlarged and framed for her! Just a suggestion.
wendy


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2019



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    Thanks once again for your glittering stars.

reply by A. Willow Bends on 18-Mar-2019
    You are so very welcome!
    Wendy
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