A Typical Day In 100 words, or less, describe a typical day in your life. You can embellish a bit--for entertainment purposes--but try to keep it as factual as possible. Show us what it's like to walk in your shoes. Have fun with it!
And the dad would have to walk in when everything is complete dissaray, lol. The story is well-written, interesting, your characters come to life and your dialogue seems real, nice job. Good luck with your contest.
a sexy picture. a very interesting summary that easily entices reader to read more. you describe the setting and character action and emotion very well, bringing the characters and story into life. Also an interesting plotline. Keep it up!
This is a very interesting piece; there is a lot going on. There are several questions leaving the reader wanting more, such as where did the spiders coming from, does Cardoren believe the boy, does the relationship blossom, etc? As I see this is part seven of a larger work, I can only hope the story will continue from here. Thank you for sharing this selection.
Hi Russell. I'm amused by the spider sequence and the gyrations of the couple. There is a mixed message in this chapter given to the reader by Cardoren's push-pull behavior--allowing private access to his daughter while threatening Niall if he misbehaves, allowing him to bring a wine/beer to her which is a further mixed message as it may lessen inhibitions. He's broadcasting--go to see her but don't touch her or your life is at stake. Whether it's fear of disobeying Cadoren or desire to see Tawny privately, Nialls dares enter her room. Anything more than a brief kiss initiated by Tawny is interrupted by the spider. Wording, dialogue, and scene setting highlight the chapter. Marilyn
Comment Written 25-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2019
Thanks, Marilyn! I'm glad you enjoyed the spider fumblings with Nialls and Tawny. "A paradox, a paradox, a most ingenious paradox" don't remember where that came from, but was a play or pirate movie. Cheers!
That was an awesome turn from the standard first encounter, not at all what I expected. The spider was a stroke of genius, especially with how they ended up and having Cardoren walk in just then. It was a classic sitcom maneuver. However, with the ending, I'm sure it's not going to turn up in a laugh.
Nice to end the chapter up in the air like that.
I saw no grammar nits. As usual, this chapter flowed smooth as glass.
This is a wonderful story. You have captured the characters of that time frame wonderfully. I am very afraid of spiders and would have reacted as Tawny did. Nialls is trying to be a gentleman and kill the spider and ends up in an awkward moment when Tawny's father opened the cabin door. Very well done. Keep writing.
How unfortunate fo Nialls, being caught in a compromising situation with Cardorn's daughter, after what Cardoren had told him what happened to the unfortunate sailor who had been caught barely touching her. A very interesting episode indeed, excellent work, blessings, Roy
Oh, Russ, this is just awesome! Very well written chapter with your development of seeing a different side of Cardoren (although, I'm wondering what he's thinking...a test, of sorts, but how far? was the spider part of it? Hmmmm....)....and the description of the 'tussle' was priceless! :) ;) Thanx for sharing and I am definitely looking forward to your next chapter, sir - thanx for keeping the age of tall ships alive for us all! ;) :) Yvette ;)